


Selfish

by DreamWalker84



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Ember and MC are friends, Ember is not the MC of Mystic Messenger, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Fluff, Kidnapping, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Instability, Mystic Messenger April Fool's Special 2017, Neither is MC, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, References to Drugs, Rescue Missions, Trust Issues, What if you were hacked into the game?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-03-11 06:15:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 72,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13518267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamWalker84/pseuds/DreamWalker84
Summary: Ember was always the quiet one; she caused no trouble for anyone, and avoided conflict whenever possible.So when she finds herself in the grasp of a crazed stalker, she doesn't know what to do but run.But the escape she thought would surely end her life sends her to a world she only believed was real in a video game.Please read "Don't Hesitate to Come Find Me" by valentinevar.  This is a sister-story to that one, and I highly recommend reading it!http://archiveofourown.org/works/11770503/chapters/26535387This story begins during chapter 16; I suggest at least reading this chapter.Thank you valentinevar for inspiring me, and allowing me to write this branch off of your great fan fiction!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Don't Hesitate to Come Find Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11770503) by [valentinevar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/valentinevar/pseuds/valentinevar). 



It was supposed to be a good day; a hike, one last trip to her favorite bar, one final walk-through her deserted and empty apartment, and a bright, sunny goodbye to a city she had no real connection to. She was supposed to spend tomorrow in a hotel room with her favorite junk food, no plans, and no people to throw expectations at her. She had planned on doing nothing but lay in bed, playing Mystic Messenger, and just enjoying the silence—except when she receives in game phone calls, of course.

But things, as Ember readily reminded herself now, rarely go as planned.

_NO! Leave me alone!_

She’s screaming but no one can hear her. Her legs ache and burn as her feet thud against stone and soil, shaking beneath the afternoon sun as it sinks behind ominous dark clouds.

How many times has she run away from him? How often has he come so close to getting his hands on her and just barely missed?

She can hear his laugh echo off the trees that didn’t seem to move fast enough by her. Her lungs hurt, her hands were bleeding from open cuts, and she was covered in forest debris. She’d been running so long; she just wanted to stop.

“Come on Ember, I’m not gonna kill you!” She heard the male’s voice call to her, laughing, taunting her from just beyond her eyesight.

_Keep running, don’t look back, keep going, someone will find you._

Tears start to fall as the clouds weep for the victim of this horrible game of chase. Ember scrambles up a pile of rocks, only noticing the sound of roaring water as she crests the mound. There’s nowhere to go. The flooded banks of the river below offer no comfort, aside from hiding the heavy panting as she attempts to catch her breath. She ducks behind a stone, and takes out her phone.

One last person to call. Of all days, why is it not a single person answers their phone when she needs help!?

“C’mon…MC…Answer…” She whispers, begging the phone to connect. She can hear it sputter and disconnect before anyone answers. She tries again, and again…

“Ember, I know you’re here…It’s only a matter of time.” The voice mocks her and she can clearly hear heavy boots on the stones behind her.

For the first time, she prays.

Tears saturate her face more than the rain drops that are drenching her clothes. She looks down at her phone, seeing the last bit of battery flash its warning. It’s going to die soon.

How appropriate.

The wallpaper on her phone dims as the battery begins to fail. The smiling faces of her favorite characters; Zen, Jaehee, Yoosung, Jumin, and Luciel in their common outfits, smiling as if nothing on this side of the screen could ever go wrong. Ember’s thumb opens the old picture of her and MC, still dressed in high school uniforms, smiling at the camera. She wished she could have at least said goodbye to the only person she felt connected to. MC was the one person she could call a friend, even after years of separation after university. MC was the one that showed her Mystic Messenger, and didn’t give Ember a hard time about being an adult playing such a game.

Who knew she would be facing a stalker just like they were in that story. Who knew that in this world, nobody is coming to her rescue? The police didn’t believe her, the few associates she had didn’t either, all except MC; she had wanted Ember to move away to get away from the creep. But no, Ember insisted she was fine, that she’d take care of it, that this guy was just as harmless as any other. After all, he was just a normal guy, not terrible looking, average intelligence, even had admitted to having a family of his own; what harm could he really do? MC stopped calling shortly after that, at one point, MC even told her she was having health problems, and wanted her to come live with her for a little bit.

“It will be fun, just like when we were kids. Think of it as an extended sleep over.” MC had begged, and finally, Ember relented. After all, what harm could be done by starting in a new city again? She’d finally be reunited with her friend after years apart, and be able to help MC in the process. She was supposed to move in two days.

Two. Days.

But he had to come back. Somehow, he found her while taking a day hike in the local state park. She had thought that she was safe from him here; he had always found her in the city, where he could hide among the thousands of other faces she didn’t dare look at. But no, this stalker, the nameless man that followed her everywhere, haunted her relentlessly, and now…

“Ember,” He called in a sing song tone.

She clasps her hands over her mouth to stifle the threatening whimpers from coming out.

“Found you,” he growls just as a pair of large hands yanks her up by the collar of her parka. The collar was digging into her throat, and she coughed and writhed to try and ease the pressure on her throat.

“Let me go!” she thrashes, kicking, and clawing at his arms, trying to reach is face. He just laughs at her. Laughs! “Leave me alone; what do you want from me?”

He laughs and something sinister flashes across his dark eyes. “I’m taking you to Paradise,” he smiles, cocking his head to the side. “Don’t you want to be saved? I promise I’ll be by your side, Mr. Ray promised me I could keep you.”

_Who?_

“Keep me? Who the hell do you think you are?!” Ember demands; gripping at his hands still digging into the collar of her jacket. The idea of “fight or flight” didn’t even occur to her, she just struggled. His smile is anything but friendly; a sinister, bone chilling, and utterly crazed light flickers in his eyes. He just smiles, watching her face turn pink, then red, and her breathing become ever more strained.

She’s going to be taken, she knows it. She doesn’t know where this Paradise is, and frankly she doesn’t care. The rumble of the rushing waters below her catch her attention.

And it clicks.

She has two choices; go with this crazy man, or…

The water sounds louder in her ears as she focuses on the face of her attacker. Her heartbeat is thumping in her head, and the collar of her clothes and jacket is cutting off air from her head.

“No.” she chokes, and with one hand, unzips the jacket. She couldn’t grab onto the rock face, it was too far, maybe…maybe if she survives she could swim…

At first she hears nothing, everything is going in slow motion; her phone flips in the air in front of her, along with tendrils of her saturated blonde hair. To say that Ember’s life flashed before her eyes is a far from the truth; she saw nothing but the phone in front of her.  A small miracle happens, and even with tears falling down her face, she smiles when the screen lights up, showing MC’s contact picture. Finally her friend picked up. Ember hadn’t realized the phone was still dialing; everything had happened quickly, despite the feeling that it felt like hours caught in his grasp.

“Hello? Ember...is…you?...Ar….kay?”

The sound of MC’s tired voice, breaks out over the sound of the river. The pounding in her head is replaced with a high pitched mechanical squeal, like the sound of computer hardware that is about to give out.

“I’m sorry, MC!” She screams as the freezing water snaps her into darkness, and the phone bounces off the rocks and into the foaming waters below.

~

It isn’t cold.

In fact, it is almost warm.

She lands with a thud; the sharp impact elicits a grunt and groan as she rolls over to her stomach. Her entire body feels like she’d been electrocuted and the only thing cooling her down is the fact that she can feel water still clinging to her pale skin.

Her head is pulsing with the fury of a thousand jackhammers; everything is too loud. Her hand fumbles across the wet grass and fallen leaves, where the fragments of her phone lay half buried in the mud. The mechanical squealing reverberates in her eyes, and the rain feels like she’s being pelted with bullets.

The only thing that broke the constant sound was the unmistakable scream of a frightened woman. Her voice carried over the rat-tat-tat of rain on the already saturated ground, and echoed off of the trees that surrounded her. The scream was still quite a ways away, but it still was close enough to warrant being concerned.

Instinctively Ember looked toward the voice. She was surrounded in established trees and underbrush, and the sky was growing very dark with the oncoming nightfall. The air was frigid, and Ember could already feel the chill on her soaking skin, making her quake involuntarily. She can’t see where the woman’s voice came from, just trees, and the creeping of shadows that seemed like a strangely comforting sight. At least she’ll be as hidden from that stalker in these conditions, as he would be; the difference being that she was an avid outdoorsy type, and he likely wasn’t.

Again the woman in the distance yelled, she could make out the clear ‘help’ in the cries, before the sounds become muffled.

 _“It would be my luck, escaping one stalker to run into a kidnapping,”_ She thinks darkly as she hoists herself to her shaky feet, leaning heavily on a narrow tree.

Then the residual sounds stopped; just the rain pattering on her shoulders continued. In that moment, the proverbial light-bulb turned on. She was running through a forested state park, and fell off a cliff to escape the stalker; how did she land in the middle of a very different forest? The sun had already set, and she knew she hadn’t been knocked out between falling…and landing. It was midafternoon before, so…

Where was her coat?

Where was the stalker?

And what the _hell_ happened to her phone?

She picks up the fragments, and wraps them in the saturated headband to keep the glass from stabbing her; she’d have to inspect the parts later, to see if she could possibly repair it. She knew, by the size of the parts, that the likelihood of ever recovering anything from it was near impossible. So, with shaking determination, she resolves to finding some sort of civilization, and borrowing a phone to call for help. 

Carefully, she picks her way through the ever darkening forest heading roughly north, away from the sound of the distressed woman. It doesn’t take more than five minutes at Ember’s slow pace, before the rain finally begins to clear, opening up a window to the bright moon above the her.

The break in the storm lit up the distinct white stucco of a large building in the distance; the color almost glowed beneath the moon, despite being in the middle of a forest. Who would build such a building in the middle of a forest? Much less, one of this style?

As she grew closer to the building, she could see a clearing that was paved and lined in gravel, which butted up against the front of a white fronted mansion with bright emerald roofs. The style looked like some sort of castle, and triggered a sickening sense of recognition.  

“It…can’t be…” she whispers before clapping her hands over her mouth to prevent any more sound. Two robed figures circle the outside of the building, keeping an even, slow pace; they were guards. They passed by a light on the far end of the driveway, which flickered on with their passing, illuminating a several vehicles parked nearby, mostly newer cars, and a single, high capacity white van, not unlike the windowless Econo-Van one could see used as work vehicles. Few lights were on in the building, and the few that were visible at this distance were curtained, but still lit enough to silhouette more people inside.

“Hey, do you hear something?”

The sound of an unknown male’s voice shakes her attention, making her drop to her knees on the forest floor, searching for the source of the voice. Mentally she curses her choice of bright athletic clothing, when she’s trying to hide in a dark wooded area. Along the clearing closest to her forested hiding spot, two men stopped on their patrol; they were close enough that—despite wearing hoods—the moon illuminated their faces clearly. They were larger than Ember, both in height and girth, although she couldn’t confirm the latter due to the black robes that covered them.

“There isn’t another patrol out here, right?” the second voice asks, shining a flashlight across the forest. Ember ducks further behind a fallen tree, just in time for the beam of light to pass over her head.  The sound of tires on gravel, and the rumble of a high powered engine interrupt their conversation, and making Ember’s breathing stop altogether.

“Mr. Ray! Sir, you’re already back—“

A car door opens and steady footsteps crunch the gravel on the pavement. “What are you looking at? Help me, you fool. Take the one in the trunk to the cells.”

Ember’s eyes widen as the third voice commands the guards. All at once the concerns of Ember’s own safety become blatantly clear. She knows that voice; suddenly the recognition becomes very real, and she peeks to the driveway one last time.

 _“No, this is a coincidence…there is just no way…”_ she thinks to herself, as she clings to whatever sense of security she had.

Parked haphazardly in front of the building is a bright red Porsche-like sports car, and the distinct figure of a young man in a dark sweatshirt and bright red hair steps out. He circles the car in a quickened pace, and opens the passenger door, showing a woman slumped in the seat. She’s dressed nicely, as if she had just gone to a nice date, although she was too far away to see clearly,  by the looks of her posture, she had too much to drink, or perhaps worse…

The other two guards open the trunk, and yank out the limp body of yet another person; another redheaded young man that looks remarkably like the first. It is clear to Ember what is happening, and yet she felt powerless.

She must have been more stressed than she thought, as the glass hidden within the soggy headband pokes through, stabbing her palm and bringing her rushing back to the present. A sudden flash of every memory that had lodged itself in her mind came rushing back at her like a hurricane.

_Mr. Ray, Paradise, Mystic Messenger, the white and green mansion in the woods, dark cloaked figures…_

“Hey, who are you?”

Her voice is lost in her throat as the thoughts and images coalesced into one very vivid, very real conclusion. A guard circles around the tree she is hiding behind, holding a flashlight and a stun-gun, scowling at her.

“Answer, who are you?” the voice came closer, and stares down at her. “Oh…”

Ember’s body tenses under the gaze of this cloaked figure. She must have looked like a cornered animal, as the guard slowly lowered his weapon, and almost looked kindly down at her. Her body shook and the crumbled phone dropped to the forest floor. She still looked like a wreck; her hair is matted, wet, tangled with leaves and debris, her makeup is smeared, scratches and bruises litter what skin is showing, leaving trails of watered down blood on her flesh and clothes, and she is covered in splotches of various types of mud.

“You must be new, huh?” the voice softened, and he bent down to her level, the light lingering on the floor by her legs. “Don’t worry, you’ll be safe.” A patch of unusual teal hair falls in front of his forehead, beneath the hood. “I won’t let them hurt you; but you are hurt and going to get sick out here. Come on, I’ll help you inside.”

“N-no,” Ember whispers, slapping away the man’s hand, and staring into his beautiful green eyes. From up close, this guard is not harsh, rough, or gruff; quite the opposite in fact. He looks kind, brotherly even, despite wearing the ominous cloak.

“It is okay, I’m trying to stop it.” He whispers, reaching out to help her up, he looks around, making sure no one sees him, or hears him speak. “I am under cover here, and I may need help. You’re different, I can tell; but now isn’t the time to talk. You need dry clothes, medicine, and food. Trust me.”

Her eyes widen again.

“No…I…no…” she mutters, taking his hand and standing on her feet. “You…you’re…”

“Jihyun Kim, but most people call me V,” he smiles and puts a finger to his mouth to hush me. “But don’t tell anyone, they don’t know I’m still here.”

“Jihyun…” she looks at the building, and he almost chuckles at her expression of shock mixed with realization. The whole world suddenly became very, very clear. “That is…”

“Mint Eye. Welcome to their so-called Paradise in the mountains,” V sighs and starts walking her toward the front door. “You aren’t the first to be brought over, so just play up the stunned look you have now, and you’ll be safe for a time. Try not to talk to anyone, even the others you’ll be living with, and I’ll try to be assigned as your…”

“My…what?” she dares to ask.

“Keeper, I suppose.” V answers slowly, as if trying to find a more kind way of saying his thoughts. “Don’t fret; I’ll keep you safe. I feel like you’ll be able to help save my friends.”

She sees his eyes stop on the red car. “That…was Saeyoung in the trunk…” He nods. “The woman?”

“A friend of his; Zen’s girlfriend. I haven’t yet met her face to face.” He whispers as they come to the door. How did Jihyun know she’d know the name Zen? Her feet were moving without her thinking, and her knees now shook both from the chill and the draining of adrenaline from her system. “Now, let’s find you a bed and clean clothes.”

The doors open and Ember is temporarily blinded by the comparatively bright lights inside the Mint Eye building.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place roughly parallel to chapters 18-19 of Don't Hesitate to Come Find Me. More time passes in my story, than in the original, but that is expected with branch off stories anyway!

The sun is not yet lighting up the small room when Ember wakes again. Her body ached and took entirely too much effort to move. The air smelled different than her room normally did; sweet, cool, like lavender and mint, and a slight vanilla undertone.

Her eyes flutter open, adjusting to the dim blue hues the room is cast in. For a moment, she panics, knowing that this was not her house. Her hands rest on the light cotton pajamas she’s wearing, and the soft bandages that are wrapped around her arms and hands.

“Oh…” she inspects the bandages, poking at a couple of the bruised areas, just to ensure they are as real as her memory of the previous day. As sure as the pain was sharp, the memory of yesterday was not her imagination.

V had led her through many halls, finally depositing her in the room she now resides. She couldn’t think, much less react to the faces of Mint Eye followers as she passed; she was dazed, confused, and overwhelmed by the whole concept of it. After some time, she was able to clean herself up in the small bathroom, and V returned with a first aid kit to treat the lacerations she had acquired.

She must have fallen asleep after that.

A bottle of water sat unopened on the bedside table, along with a small plastic cup with what appeared to be ibuprofen.  She takes a mouthful of the water, but leaves the pills; even though she should be able to trust V, she just can’t. For some reason, her brain just won’t let her believe what is happening.

V is real.

And Saeyoung and Saeran are real.

Zen is real.

Certainly Jumin and Jaehee are too.

She laughs quietly, thinking of MC staring at her phone. “If only she knew they were real…” Ember smiles to herself. She wonders what MC is doing, and where she is. She wonders if MC was able to figure out that something happened, and if the stalker was caught. She wonders if the RFA is just like the people in the game, or are they a little different.

The thoughts mix and grow, soon melding with theory and what knowledge she has. It wasn’t long before the sun began to light up the room, and with it, her thoughts turn from logic to…something else. What if the way the world works here is different? Gravity is the same, that’s for sure, but what if there are other fundamental things that are different? Will she have to learn them? Can she get back?

Does she want to?

She needs to escape here, but knowing that Saeyoung is here, that Saeran is obviously still mentally unstable, and that there is at least one other victim, she can’t just run. But she’s just a single woman; what good could she possibly do?

As the small room grew lighter, she could finally take in her surroundings. The room itself wasn’t much larger than a small hotel room, with a modest attached bathroom. A single full sized bed, a four-drawer dresser, a small writing table, and a cushioned bench, all decorated in a somewhat frilly, feminine style, with pink details, decorated the room. A single window overlooked the rear garden, but it was sealed quite securely, with thick iron bars attached to the outside of the building. There was a narrow closet by the bathroom door, which contained a few muted colored dresses, linens, and towels, along with a few other toiletries. By all accounts, someone could say this was indeed a nice bed-and-breakfast, or a decent hotel.

Ember knew otherwise.

Despite being alone in the room, she still felt like she was being watched constantly. She paced the room, looking at anything that could possibly be a camera, and upon finding none, opted to shower and change into one of the provided dresses.

It was a simple, un-decorated affair; long sleeves, mid-calf length, modest neckline, and just a little big on her, in a cream color. She thought it made her look even more washed out than usual; her skin tone was still fair, albeit slightly discolored from the bruises, and the pale golden hair she had once been quite proud of just made her look pasty. Without makeup, her eyelashes and eyebrows disappear, and the dark stormy-blue irises of her eyes were the only thing that would stand out.

She was unremarkable. Ember preferred it this way.

Breakfast was brought to her by another robed member, of which she ate little. Ember knew the kind of tactics the Mint Eye in the game employed, and she had no intention of consuming anything that would alter her state of mind.

It wasn’t until her room began to feel too much like a cage, that she dared to try and leave. V had no yet been able to return, but she knew that if she was to figure out what was going on, she’d need to explore alone.

She wandered the corridors of the floor she was on; the third floor of a five story building, she had figured out. There weren’t many people on the floor, but the few that were seemed to be focused in a specific part.  There were two men standing guard on either side of a set of double doors. They didn’t move or even speak as she approached, just looked at her menacingly.

There were three other women like her living on this floor. She met two, and her understanding is the third was in that special room. She had been given some of the famed elixir, and was still unconscious last any of the guard looked in on her.

The other two women were…strange. They were quiet and hardly looked at Ember as she passed. They had some sort of twitch, and looked around them like they didn’t see the world, but through it. Perhaps it was a result of the drug? Was everyone in some sort of perpetual hallucination?

For the most part, everyone seemed to simply ignore her. Even with her limited knowledge of the place, Ember was well aware of the disadvantage she had.

~~

V didn’t mention that she’d have to meet “Mr. Ray” face to face.

Maybe he didn’t know?

“Hmm,” Saeran hummed thoughtfully. He tapped his gloved finger against his chin, dressed in his magenta coat, his face in a peaceful—almost playful smile, like he had during the Another Story route. With the other hand, he moves her head by her chin, inspecting the angles of her face, the flow of her hair, the color of her eyes, and the shape of her features. “Maybe…”

He circles her, inspecting her from head to toe. Ember feels violated just standing there, even fully clothed as she was. Her hands wrapped around each other, trembling, and fidgeting. He looks so different now, compared to the game. There is something of a wild, disconnected from reality, and borderline insane aura about him, and it puts her instantly on edge. She wishes she could tell what he was thinking.

“You…I don’t remember…” the redhead mutters, his green eyes scanning her face again. There is something dangerous in his eyes when she focuses on them. Ember could almost see the wheels turning in his mind, and the resulting glitter of something sinister. “When did you get here?”

Ember starts to answer, and thinks against it last minute. She resists the urge to glare at him, knowing well that he has trapped at least two people in the building. Ray laughs, looking like a kid with a terrible prank in the works. “A week?” he asks.

She shrugs.

“A month?” He asks again, picking up a length of hair, and strangely, smelling it.

She shrugs again.

“Do you not remember?”

She looks down, and hopes against all odds, that he thinks this is an admission of ignorance, rather than an attempt to lie. She hears him chuckle, and feels her hair fall back down to her shoulder.

“I see, well, that makes things…easier then.” He calls over a guard, whispering too quietly to hear from Ember’s position. Only then was she able to get a solid idea of where she was.

She had been so scared, being dragged here so late in the evening that she didn’t have the mental capacity to look around her.

Without a doubt, she was in Ray—no, Saeran’s computer room.  They had taken her several flights down, where the basement would be. There were several huge monitors, cords everywhere, and a large desk with a worn in keyboard in plain view.

Behind that, there was a pile of charred computer parts and shattered monitors, cords, and what looked like the remnants of a computer chair. There was obvious fire damage to some of the walls, as well as clean, fresh repairs done to the walls. It was clear that this was a computer lab, version 2.

“I think you’ll do,” Saeran says with a smile. Ember cringed a little as he takes her hand. “I’ll keep you too; the princess will need someone to look after her, and help her, and keep her company.” He nods, muttering to himself as he walks her toward the door, and the security guards part for him. “Yes, and then you can deal with…yes, and then I can focus on my princess…”

Ember swallows the lump that was forming in her throat, and follows him through the doors. “You’ll start tomorrow. You are my gift to her…yes, yes she’d like that.” He pulls her along, back to the third floor, and to the kitchen. “Learn to cook her favorites, buy her clothes, whatever she asks.” He looks rather satisfied with his decision, crossing his arms and re-evaluating her appearance. “You could wear a uniform. A princess deserves well-dressed staff.”

Ember nods again, not really sure what else to do.

On the other hand, this may just be the chance she needed to figure out where Saeyoung is, and what they are doing here in the first place. With this woman being so strongly in his favor, perhaps it will open up opportunities to investigate.  

“You’ll be doing errands for me too, so don’t get sidetracked.” He says finally, turning on his heels and heading back downstairs. Ember is at a loss for what happened, and without any other instruction, she returns to her room.

Time seems to slip away from Ember while she is lost in thought; the solitude of her own room seems to force her to confront all the worries that swarm her mind. Can she really do anything to help? What tasks will Saeran force on her while he is clearly unstable?

A light knock on the door echoes like thunder behind her eyes, shaking her from her circular thoughts. The believer that enters tells her that she is to perform her duties and take the food that Saeran made, to the ‘princess’, since he is busy doing some sort of work. The believer hands her an apron and scarf to tie up her hair, and a dark blue dress that is just as unflattering as the muted one she had on, only this one reached the floor.

Once the believer left, Ember felt she had little choice but to follow the directions given, and change into her new ‘uniform’.

She couldn’t help but think she had made a very grave mistake allowing V to bring her here.

She found a tray of beautifully arranged food on the counter in the kitchen. A pile of dishes were already soaking in the large sink, and despite her hurry, the stovetop was already cool to the touch. With a little hesitation, Ember picks up the tray, the pitcher of juice, and some extra silverware, before shuffling as gracefully as possible to the large double doors at the end of the hall.

The guards parted for her now and didn’t even lift a finger against her approach. They didn’t help open the door either, despite her hands being full. She sets the tray carefully on a side table in the hall, and taps at the door softly.

“Go away.” The voice rings from inside the closed doors. A flash of something familiar jolts her mind, and she taps again. “I said go away! I am not eating anything you make me!”

It sounds just like MC.

That’s impossible! How could MC be here?

She opens the door just a little, and picks up the tray, using her shoulder to open the door slowly. The room is nearly dark, save for a single lamp lit by the door. Lavish princess style furniture decorated every corner, and even in the dark, Ember could tell this was supposed to be someone important.

Sitting in the darkest corner of the room, with a beam of moonlight streaming across her lap, was the woman. She wore different clothes now, and her hair was down; with her back turned to the door, Ember couldn’t tell much else about her.

“Go, I don’t care.”

Ember’s eyes go wide, before the burning sensation of tears threatens to break the silence. Her hands shake, making the dishes clatter together; she nearly drops the tray. Her mind races; she wants to call out to the voice of her friend, but it seems trapped in the pit of her stomach.

The woman turns, looking over her shoulder. Even in the darkness, Ember can see the dark circles around her eyes, and the redness of them; she had been crying. In an instant, the woman stands up, walking toward her cautiously.

“No…” the woman whispers in shock. Ember’s eyes grow wider as the woman gets closer and her face becomes illuminated by the dim lamplight. “Ember?”

The tray falls to the floor with a resounding crash, as MC rushes to her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. MC’s strength seems drained, shaky, and unstable. Ember couldn’t help but sob into her friend’s shoulder.

“MC…what…what is going on?” She chokes. “Why are you here?”

“It is a long story, and I don’t think I have much time…” MC whispers, not yet letting go of her friend. “I am so tired…”

Ember picks what food she could off of the carpet, and balances the broken plate on the pile of inedible food, before shoving it to the side. “MC, I thought you were sick? What is going on?”

MC smiles sadly at Ember, and her hand idly rubs her stomach; the motion does not escape Ember’s notice. “I guess you figured out we aren’t home, huh?” she laughs, and a tear falls down her cheek. “We’re in the game, Ember. Well, the world the game happens in, anyway.”

“Yeah, figured that out,” Ember replies with a sigh. “But how?”

“I don’t know the details yet, but I know Saeran is behind it.” MC looks down at her hands, balled in her lap. “I don’t know what is going on, but somehow he used the game to make me come here,” she looks at Ember, and a sort of curious look blooms in her face. “But you look different, Ember. I don’t know if it is the same for you.”

“Start from the beginning, MC. I’m really confused,” Ember tells her friend, and idly starts to brush her friend’s hair over her shoulder. “How did YOU end up here?”

They stayed talking in her room for an hour or two, until the guard at the door calls Ember away. MC tells her how she fell asleep and just woke up here, how she and Zen were together, and most importantly, “I am not sick, Ember. Not exactly. I am pregnant here, but for some reason, only here.”

Ember was dumbfounded when those words passed MC’s lips. It was too much to take in; MC is pregnant in a world that should only exist in a phone app. She said that she thinks her family and doctors believe she is going crazy, that she had all sorts of testing done before her most recent jaunt back into the game world. Ember couldn’t handle much more, and as the security escorted her from the room, she promised MC to be back soon, and not to give up hope.

She didn’t have the chance to tell MC what had happened to her.

MC was so tired looking, Ember wondered if she’d finally fall asleep, and if she did sleep, if she’d end up going back. She should have asked MC to look into her stalker one more time, if she did go back. Ember immediately felt guilty; she should be more concerned with how Zen would do, being away from his lover and unborn child. This stalker is a secondary issue now.

The halls were incredibly quiet as she made her way to her own room. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought that everyone simply disappeared, aside from the last guard that walked behind her.

The memories of her last moments in the forest bombarded her train of thoughts; she fell into a swollen, rocky river, her phone crashed on the rocks, and she felt the icy water swallow her up. How long was it before she woke here? From what MC told her, she should have a body still somewhere home, asleep or in some sort of coma, if their circumstances were the same. Is her freezing body lying on a river bank somewhere? In the hospital? Did the stalker pick it out of the river like a drowned cat, and has it stashed away somewhere? Is she dying as her mind plays tricks on her, and this whole thing is really some strange figment of her imagination?

“Master Ray has ordered you to take this,” the guard’s voice breaks her focus, and bringing it to a sudden halt. “Everyone in the building is to take the elixir tonight, to be led to Paradise.”

In the robed man’s hand was a vial about the size of her thumb, filled with a cloudy, viscous liquid. It wasn’t like the elixir from the game; it was darker in color, cloudy, and far more condensed.

“I don’t want to go to Paradise.” Ember glares at the man, and turns her back on him, reaching for the doorknob. The pain she feels is momentary; a hard, solid hit to the back of her head. She sees stars, but only for a moment, as the robed man grabs a fistful of her hair, tilting her head back. Ember’s mouth goes slack with the shock, and the potion is poured in.

She coughs, gaging on the bitter mix, and she lands on the floor with a graceless thud. The guard pushes her into her room, before shutting the door.

Everything spins, and Ember can’t tell if it is the head wound, or the ‘elixir’ that causes it.

It was worse than being black-out drunk; her feet were numb, her mind was numb, everything felt numb. The gritty taste of the medicine still lingered in her throat, and she gags, throwing up a mix of food remnants and dark cloudy gel, over the small carpet inside her room.

“Water…” she tells herself. She needs to wash this out of her system. No matter how much she commanded her limbs to move, it was as if the tendons and muscles stopped working at the joints. Her vision is blurred, and the darkness of the room is not helping her focus, but slowly she pulls herself across the carpet to the bedside table, where a water bottle still stands largely untouched. The sting of carpet burns wrack her legs and forearms as she reaches up the small table, and clumsily bats the bottle to the floor.

It takes significant effort to stay conscious while fumbling with the lid. Her fingers no longer grip with any real strength, and she resorts to using her teeth to twist open the lid, and spitting it to the side. It clatters to the floor as she swigs down water.

It is so cold.

She didn’t notice how hot she had felt, like her body was burning from the inside, until she took that first mouthful of water. The sudden chill immediately made her vomit again, showering the floor with water and globs of the gelatinous medicine. Her blood pounded in her ears, sounding like thunder in comparison to the deafening silence that filled the once lively building.

Another mouthful of water.

She spit most of it out, screaming in pain, as the fiery pain spread to her chest.

Another.

She forced back the gag, the tears, and the scream as the seemingly solid piece of ice slid down her throat. She could feel the water in her stomach, and she covers her mouth to force herself not to throw it up.

It doesn’t work.

The last of her stomach contents spill onto the floor, and her body shakes with the force of it.

“This is better,” She tells herself as her head stops grasping reality around her. “Better out than in.”

She can just barely hear the door opening, and footsteps retreating down the hall. The room smelled awful, but she could no longer bring herself to care.

What happened? What did she do? Where was V? Why isn’t he helping her!?

Is MC okay?

~~

_“Zen is so cute!” Ember said enthusiastically. MC laughed at her, her eyes still trained on her screen._

_“He is.” MC replied with a sigh, “It is a shame that men are not like him.”_

_“True.” Ember thumbs through the pictures on her phone, pausing on a familiar redhead in a green shirt. “I wonder sometimes…”_

_“Hmm?”_

_Ember’s face grows hot, and she shakes her head. “No, never mind.”_

_MC laughs at her friend’s obvious discomfort. “Come on, tell me! You’re the only one that I can talk to about it!”_

_“Yeah…I guess; it is just a game.” Ember wonders if she really believes this is just a game anymore. How many hours has she invested in these characters? How many days has she spent writing random encounters, what-if scenarios, and replaying the routes over and over?_

_“Emy, come on,” MC giggled, poking her friend’s side. “Tell me!”_

_“I was just wondering what it would be like…you know, to meet them.” She half lied. She didn’t want MC knowing that she thought about it all the time, she planned it, she thought of every way she could encounter them. She didn’t want her friend knowing how, no matter who she tried to write about, she always came back to one man._

_Zen was the physical type she’d normally go for, Jumin was the age range and cool headed personality type she usually wanted, and Yoosung even had the optimistic (most of the time) and cuddly outgoingness that she liked._

_The redhead with golden eyes always called her back. She told herself it was coincidence; he was simply the easiest to write about. She convinced herself that his loneliness and the pain he felt were nothing more than tropes to get girls to like the character, and it did nothing to her. She told herself that he was just the prankster with a bad past, and that he didn’t really need or want a companion, despite her heart telling her otherwise._

_She didn’t want MC to know that she wanted to tell Saeyoung how he managed to worm—no, hack his way—into her very bloodstream. That she thought about the way he moved, the sound of his voice when they were alone, the gentle—almost too gentle—touch of his lips when they kiss, or the intensity of his gaze when he finally lets his guard down._

_“Oh, come on. Everyone who plays this thinks that at least once! I would think you’re ill if you hadn’t thought it!” MC laughs and the sound is contagious. Before long Ember joins her friend in merriment, and after a few minutes, they both regain composure. “Who is your favorite?”_

_“Hmm? My favorite…” She mumbles out loud, looking down at the image of 707 still on her phone. “I don’t know. I want it to be Zen; he was the first route I played.”_

_“Oh? He is my favorite,” MC smiles, looking at some fan art of the fictional actor on her phone. “But I don’t know. I get the feeling that you two wouldn’t be a good pair. You’re far too quiet.”_

_“I am not!” Ember gasps. “I mean, not TOO quiet. I just don’t like…people.”_

_“Zen would get annoyed by that, I think. And I think you’d be driven crazy by his constant need for socialization.” MC sits thoughtfully silent for a minute, watching Ember as she closes the image on her phone and continues looking. “No, I think you’d be better suited to Saeyoung.”_

_Ember’s face flushes again. “W-why do you say that?” she scratches her arm out of nervousness. “I mean, I guess I could say…he is my favorite…”_

_“Because you’ve been staring at him for the last five minutes,” MC plucks the phone from Ember’s fingers and scrolls through the saved images. “Hmmm yeah, definitely Seven for you.”_

_Ember hides her face in her hands. “I don’t get it! He is so…complicated.”_

_“You like complicated,” MC smiles, tossing the phone back to Ember. “It gives you something to focus on and figure out, and it would give him a guiding light to focus on.”_

_“Saeyoung is a person, not a puzzle,” Ember grumbles, closing down her image files and glaring at MC._

_“Oh? A person? I thought he was just a game character,” MC chides with a playful grin. “Ember and Seven sitting in a tree…”_

_“STOP!” Ember cries out, clapping a hand over MC’s mouth and laughing at the muffled sound of the children’s song behind her hand._

Her consciousness fades with the thought of MC’s face in her mind, and the sour regret of being unable to help anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely note, Val! Your story really has inspired this one, through and through, so I hope you like it as much as I enjoy yours.
> 
> To everyone else, thank you for reading! I will continue to push through chapters as best I can.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This is a pretty long chapter, but it should move pretty fast.  
> I haven't got anyone to read these before I post, so please let me know if you see any errors, and I'll edit it.
> 
> <3

_“I have a kinda weird question,” Ember asks MC. They had a girls night in, using Skype to chat, both drinking wine in their respective living rooms. It wasn’t the first time they’d done this, but it was an event that still remained special. MC was looking away from the computer camera, no doubt looking at her phone sitting beside the laptop._

_“Hmm?” MC replies, her eyes barely straying from her phone screen. Ember couldn’t help but notice the gentle and almost loving smile on her friend’s face as she scrolled on her phone, presumably reading something having to do with their favorite game._

_“Do you think it is possible to…have feelings for fictional characters? Like…real feelings.” Ember hesitates and feels the heat of her blushing cheeks grow warmer. She looks down at the half empty glass of wine in her hands, and wonders if Saeyoung’s hair would be the same color when it’s wet. MC doesn’t answer right away, and she shifts somewhat awkwardly on the couch. She can feel MC looking at her, but she didn’t dare look back. She was afraid of what MC was going to say._

_She knew better than to assume her friend would be mean or cruel about it in any way, but she didn’t trust that she wouldn’t tease her endlessly about it. So Ember waited, watching the floating bubbles where the wine meets the glass, waiting._

_“Of course I do.”_

_Ember looks up nervously. “You do?”_

_“Yeah, actually. Weird huh?” MC smiles, putting her phone down and emptying the glass of wine in one go. “I really do think I love one now.”_

_“Oh…good.” Is all Ember can answer. MC smirks knowingly and rests her head on her hand, leaning heavily on the arm of the couch. “Uhm, I mean, good that you feel that way. I mean, it is good, right?”_

_MC laughs a little. “I don’t know. It is hard. But don’t worry; if I ever meet Seven, I’ll send him your way.”_

_“Wha-what do you mean? I didn’t say anything about—“_

_“You don’t have to, Ember. I can see it because I feel the same way about Zen.” MC smiles and picks up her phone. “It would be nice to see you happy with someone, for once.”_

_Ember slumps in her seat and sips the wine. Suddenly, it doesn’t taste as good, and the thought of finishing it sounds awful. “I think I need ice cream.”_

_“After wine? You’re strange.”_

_“Well, wine doesn’t taste good now. I’d share if you were closer,” Ember feigns a smile, hiding the blush that still lingers in her cheeks. She is drunk, she knows it, but she hopes her friend won’t notice._

_“No, thanks, I’m good. But be careful it doesn’t make you sick,” MC answers, looking down at her phone again. “You can share my serving with Luciel.”_

_Ember rolls her eyes with a groan before stumbling toward the kitchen in search of the stash of ice cream in her freezer._

“…iel!”

The echoing distant voice wakes Ember like a pile of bricks landing on the floor beside her. Her body jolts upright as she hears the quiet sound of footsteps far at the far end of the house. The action made her head spin and her stomach churn.

She can hear the sound of doors opening, and two voices echoing in the halls. They were so far away, but getting closer. She didn’t want to be hit again, and she didn’t want to black out again.

The acidic smell of dried vomit immediately snaps her back to her present situation. She was sprawled on the floor of her room, dried splotches of medicine scented puke all over the carpet and the skirt of her dress, and the disgusting flavor lingered in her mouth.

With wobbling legs, she stands, wiping away the crusted remnants of medicine on her face, and head to the open door. Every step she takes, her head dips and turns, as if her eyes and brain have somehow become detached from her body, and just swirl around. Her shoulder runs along the corridor walls, keeping her upright as she heads to the double doors where MC was.

She had to make sure MC was okay.

“If she was lucky, maybe MC wasn’t given the elixir,” Ember thought as her lower stomach burned with new vigor, and her lead-like feet thumped quietly down the hall.

The doors were closed, and no one was around to stop her from entering MC’s room. She cursed her inability to focus, as she stumbled toward the door and gripped the knob. But in the whispers of thoughts that managed to be heard, she kept imagining Saeyoung, which was so strange. She was looking for MC, but her mind kept thinking of Saeyoung.

“What if Saeran overdosed Saeyoung...” She mutters to herself. She feels the choking dryness of a sob in her throat as the thought passes her lips. “Saeyoung, I’m coming, just wait a little,” She tells herself as she throws her weight against the door, pushing it open with little effort.

She falls to her knees just inside the room; the dark and entirely empty room. A quiet sob escapes her lips as she realizes that MC isn’t there. She stands shakily and checks the room; there is nothing out of place, and the bed looks slept in, and one pillow still retains a little warmth.

As she stands to leave, she hears the voices, much closer now, just down the hall from her. The sound startles her, and she stands abruptly, and feels the crunch of glass beneath her socked foot. One distinct vial is crushed under her foot, the small glass shards are imbedded in her numb foot; a second vial rolls out from under the bed, stopping at her toes. This one is corked, full, and totally intact.

What if MC had been abducted? What if…what if she took the elixir and is hurt? Maybe she got up and wandered away not knowing what she was doing?

Ember’s feet were moving before she even registered she was stumbling down the hall. “MC!” she cried, opening doors and turning on every light she could find. None of the light switches worked anymore, and the rooms were deserted. She forgot about the men down the hall, and kept on moving.

“MC! Saeyoung! Where are you!” she’s yelling now, as much as her burning lungs would allow. She didn’t care anymore that the people that were her captors were dangerous; she just needed to make sure they was okay, and then to get everyone out. She opens each door as she comes to it, finding them empty and silent.

One door doesn’t open right away. She didn’t know where the strength came from; but with a running start, she began to throw herself at the door, which seemed to already have damage to it.

The first contact made her body shake and the fire still lingering in her lower gut coursing hotter. She could hear the hinges creak and wood splintering. Her shoulder throbs and a sharp pain develops at the top of her bicep.

The second attempt sent shards of wood through the hall and presumably into the room, but the lock and hinges managed to keep the door closed. She couldn’t even think of the damage that was being done to her shoulder, or the glass that was surely getting pushed further into her foot.

The third attempt sent the door flying off to the side, hanging only on the bottom hinge, and her landing on all fours on the floor again. In front of her was the distinct form of a male body, his feet laying only a few feet in front of her. The room is dark, but she can just make out the bedroom furniture and the shadows of another body on the bed.

And red hair.

“Seven?” She croaks as she pushes herself up to standing. Her eyes scan over to the bed, and recognize the clothing that Saeran was wearing during their meeting. Ember’s stomach churns as she notices the deathly stillness of the room.

“No…no…it…” she crawls up to the body on the floor, and gasps at the sight. Lying in a half-dried puddle of vomit is the beautiful face of her beloved game character. His face is deathly pale, sweat covered, and he is barely breathing. “S..Seven, you have to live.” She whispers, shaking him a little. His skin is clammy, dirty, and covered in bruises. “Seven…please…” she begs as she smells the familiar bitter medicine on his weak breath. “I’m going to get you water, it will help.” She stands, but the motion leaves her sight tunneling to darkness, and she struggles to keep upright.

The voices of the men in the hall sound really close, but she is more concerned about her redhead than about her own wellbeing. She scrambles for an open water bottle on the floor, and attempts to pour some into his mouth. She rests his head on her knees and tips the water to his lips. He doesn’t swallow much, and what he manages to get down, immediately start him gagging, sending splotches of gel onto her lap.

His eyes remain clamped shut, and the creases in his face seem to grow deeper, as if the pain is becoming less bearable. “Saeyoung…hang in there, you’ll be okay. I promise. But you need to get this out of your stomach, so I am sorry about this.” She gently pries his lips open, pouring more cold water down his throat. Much of it simply dribbles down his chin and onto his shirt. He coughs, gagging again.

She repeats this process until the water bottle is empty.

“I am going to get more water, don’t roll onto your back, okay?” She tells him quietly, gently lifting his head from her damp lap, and pulling his torso to lie on his side. Ember can feel the muscles tense under her hands, and for some reason, that comforts her a little. Somewhere, in his mind, he’s still there, he’s still holding on. “Okay, I’ll be back.”

She stands, and she remembers that Saeran is in the bed right beside her. She starts to whisper his name, but fear stops her. His eyes are open, glossy and clouded, and his usually pale skin looks much worse. His skin resembles the flesh of uncooked white fish, and she grimaces at the thought of touching it. Her hand reaches for his shoulder, shaking it a little, but the man doesn’t move; he’s totally stiff.

Her mind races, but the blood rushing to her head from standing makes it impossible to focus. Why is Saeran like that? Did he take it too? What should she do? What if he…

“HELP!” she screams before she has the chance to finish the thought. She stumbles into the hallway, her mind becoming ever darker. She knows she is losing consciousness, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can hold on.

His body is stiff, his eyes are paled.... Saeran is dead.

The thought is setting fire to the burning in her stomach, and to the fear she had been able to hold back. She needed to be strong, somewhere in her mind, she knew that. But most importantly, she needed to get help. Maybe there is still a chance for Saeran; she hopes there’s still a chance.

Poor Saeyoung.

“Hold it!” A masculine voice says, grabbing her arm and jamming the cold end of something in her back. “Don’t move.” He warns her. She doesn’t have the strength to fight him, as the man shoves her face first into the wall. She hadn’t noticed the voices grow closer to the room, or the second man head into the crypt-bedroom.

“Hey, hey, you with me?” another voice asks in the next room. The voice sounds faint, but familiar. She KNOWS this voice. “Come on, get it out.” She can hear the distinct sound of gaging, and the scent of vomit starts spilling into the hallway.

“Who are you?” The voice asks, as the object is pulled from her back and a second hand yanks her arm back.

“S…young…MC…” she’s muttering, her eyes fluttering shut as the adrenalin runs out. “Help Sae…young…”

“He’s coming around! We need to get him help!” the voice calls from the other room, and the hurried steps of a man rushes to the hall. “What the…”

Her eyes fix on the tall, white haired man, covered in dust and grime, and smelling just a bit of puke. His eyes are tired and red, but he shows no sign of slowing down. She knows him. MC must be safe if he’s here.

“She’s the one we heard.” The other voice says flatly, and pulls the vial out of her fingers. Ember had forgotten it was still there. “She was calling for help.”

Zen rushes at her, getting too close for Ember’s comfort, what little she had left. “What happened here? What did they do? What is this place?” His questions rattle off one after another, making Ember’s head quake and thrum with pain.

“Calm down, Zen. I don’t think she knows.” The man says, as his grip releases Ember’s arms and she falls to the floor. “She was holding this, and she’s wounded. By the excessive sweat and dilated pupils, I’d guess she was given the same shit. She has puke on her that’s still wet, and we saw her come out of the room, calling for help,”

“But…how do you know?” Zen demands. “She could be the one that gave it to them!”

“Because, I was there when we did this the first time, remember!” the other man growled, pocketing the vial and kneeling down to look at her foot. “She’ll need to get the glass out, but for now, we need to focus on Luciel. He’s in worse shape.”

At the sound of Saeyoung’s name, Ember’s eyes snap up to the second man’s face. Oh yes, she knew who this was too, but had only heard him speak briefly. It was Seven’s keeper, the chestnut haired agent code named Vanderwood.

“He…water, needs water…” she mumbles as she starts to fade into unconsciousness. The thought of Saeyoung wincing, the scent of the bitter elixir oozing from his lips, and the pang of guilt in her chest shakes her back into lucidity and she attempts to stand. Her delirium is getting harder to cope with, and she tries to push Vanderwood away. “No, Saeran…something…he’s done something…water, needs water!”

“God damn it woman, keep it down!” Vanderwood covers her mouth and easily manages to restrain Ember. “Zen, let’s get out of here. Get him up; we’ll wait for help outside.” Zen nods and retreats to the room, seemingly afraid of Vanderwood.

Her eyes roll back and the sensation hurts more than the headache. “Sae…young…” she mutters before she blacks out entirely.

~~

Ember’s head is sluggish and unfocused when her senses returned. She vaguely remembers a large number of people rushing around, as she was brought outside. The scent of cleaner and the bright haz-mat suits with unidentifiable logos on them dot the constant hum of shouted orders and grinding gravel.

She remembers cliché dark-suited men in sunglasses, muttering incomprehensive gibberish into mics on their wrists.

She remembers being put in a vehicle, in the front seat, which seemed strange, considering Zen was significantly taller than she was, but he insisted on being in the back with Saeyoung.

She remembered Saeyoung. She couldn’t forget the way his eyes clamped shut, the sweat pouring from his fiery hair, the dirty and bruised flesh of his face and neck, or the way he gripped his shirt in violent tremors. She remembers noting that he never spoke a word, or cried out even once.

She even remembers thinking she should sleep, because the drive was going to be a long one.

Ember did not remember the pinch of zip-tie restraints, or the hard wood floorboards beneath her.

She must have been half dreaming still, when her eyes opened with a jolt and the word “Saeyoung” escaping her lips. Her back was aching, and her hip was digging into the wooden floor in such a way that she must have had a bruise forming there already. The room was dimly lit by a single hurricane lamp on a rickety table by the closed door.

It looked like a cabin.

With a groan she sits upright, and takes in the new environment as she shuffles through her thoughts. She is in the farthest corner from the door, with zip-ties binding her wrists behind her back. There is a small single bed in the room, on which someone is sleeping in relative peace, by the sounds of his even breathing. The window by her head is darkened, and from her vantage point, she can clearly see the tops of trees and the glittering night sky above.

“Awake now, are we?”

Ember’s eyes dart to the far corner, where a short chair was hidden behind the bed. Vanderwood is there, carefully cleaning the barrel of his pistol, and his eyes coldly watching each move Ember makes. He had discarded his leather jacket, and now just sat there wearing a tighter fitting black sleeveless shirt and black jeans, and his hair looked unkempt.

“Y-yeah.” Ember stutters, as the sound of her own voice makes her head throb. She leans back against the wall, rejoicing in the cool sensation the wooden panels graced her with. “God…what happened…?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Vanderwood answers, not looking away from his work, polishing the exterior of the barrel and turning it around in the lamp light. “You are the only one that survived.”

“Wha...? No, no you’re wrong…that…” Ember chokes, looking at the agent’s unchanging expression. “That isn’t true…it can’t be…”

“Come on, Vanderwood, give her a break.”

Zen enters the room holding a couple of water bottles and a convenience store bag. “I told you, I think she was trying to help.”

“But how is it that she is the only one that was walking, and even Luciel was near death?” The agent demanded, slamming the gun on the side table.

“I don’t kn—“ Zen starts.

“I threw it up right away.” Ember says quietly. “I was only given a little amount, like maybe a tablespoon or so, and I threw up right after they made me take it.”

“Geeze,” Zen grumbles, while opening a bottle and kneeling down in front of Ember. His eyes look kind, and he is obviously trying to hide worry and anger behind the shield of his knight-in-shining-armor façade. “You had it rough, huh?” he holds the bottle to her lips and tips a bit of water into her mouth.

Vanderwood stands and leans over the body in the bed. “I need a smoke, tell me if he wakes up.”

“Wait!” Ember almost shouts. She wanted to ask about Saeran, about V, and about MC. She didn’t know if she should ask, but the words were stopped before she could get them out.

“Luciel made it, but he’s still sick. You’re lucky, girl.” Vanderwood says over his shoulder. The sound of a screen door slamming shut echoes through the house, leaving a resounding silence in his wake.

“Don’t worry about him. He’ll come around,” Zen assures her as he tilts the water bottle to her lips again. “I’m sure he’s just worried for Seven.”

“I’m sorry.” Ember mutters quietly, turning away after she finishes drinking. She’s burdening Zen; but he is so nice, she understands how MC fell for him.

“None of that. MC wouldn’t like seeing you that way,” Zen tries to give his million-dollar, princely smile, but somehow it doesn’t seem to strike Ember the same way. “Now, let’s start at the beginning, okay? I am gonna look at your foot while you talk. You had a lot of glass stuck in it, and I want to make sure we got it all out.”

Ember nods as Zen goes back to the bag and pulls out fresh bandages and ointment. “Well, where is the beginning, exactly?” Ember says quietly, thinking back over the past couple days.

“It is that confusing, huh?” Zen asks with a chuckle. “MC said it was really confusing at first too. So let’s start with the basics then. Tell me about you.”

_Me?_

She blushes and fumbles with her own thoughts. “I am nobody special. I don’t really like to talk about myself.” She watches as Zen removes the bandages and puts her foot in her lap. He reminds her of something like an older brother; a much more attractive, talented, fit, and utterly perfect brother.

“Well how about this then. If you want me to be able to convince Mr. Maid there to cut those ties off, you should give me something,” Zen says, not looking away from his hands.

“O-oh, okay,” She starts trying to formulate what to say, when a groan from the bed stops her. Zen is on his feet in a heartbeat, and leaning over the bed.

 “Good, just talking in his sleep.” Zen sighs and flops down where he was sitting before.

“Did…did uhm, did the other guy…” She tries to ask, but she’s almost afraid of Saeyoung hearing the question. “Did you find anyone else?” Her eyes stay locked on Zen’s stiff but somehow graceful body as he sits back down and lifts her bandaged foot to his lap again. She can’t help but shake that she’s becoming more of a burden even now. Zen doesn’t look at her, only shakes his head with a sorrowful expression.

“You’re tired,” Ember states. “You need to rest.” She looks down at her legs, wondering when they got so frail looking, and if she could find something else to wear besides the hideous blue dress.

“I can’t.” Zen dabs on some medication, the sting making her flinch in spite of her resistance to do so. “It looks okay, but if you feel anything, you have to let us know, okay?”

Ember nods. “Um, so why do you trust me?”

“MC talked about you,” Zen answers simply, and takes a pair of tweezers up. She feels the sting of the instrument on her foot, and the sensation of a slip of something hard being pulled from her skin. “She missed you, while she was here.”

“She did?” Ember asks, somewhat surprised. The look on her face must have been amusing, although she had no way of seeing it herself.

He chuckles a little, and a loving smile graces his lips. “Once or twice yeah. She was worried about you. She showed me a picture of you two in high school; said you were supposed to be moving in with her soon, but…”

“She got sucked back here again, I suppose,” Ember sighed. “I am surprised she thought to talk about me at all, considering what she’s going through.” His movements stopped for a moment, but resumed by picking up some wipe and cleaning the area where the glass shard had come from. Ember wondered for a moment if she knew too much, or if it was a touchy subject. “Uhm, what…did she say exactly?”

“You were her friend. The only one she had that she thought she could talk to.” Zen rewraps the wounds in gauze and tapes it down, then replacing the last of the bandages and medicine to the bag and washing his hands.

“I see. Well…what did you want to know then? I can’t just start talking.” Ember adjusts her seat, and Zen actually helps her stand, and relocate to the old armchair. She has to make herself comfortable with Zen, for MC’s sake. MC loved this man, and Ember knew that she had to make the attempt to be friends, despite it being against her nature.

Seven shifts on the bed, turning to his side, and from her spot on the floor, she can just make out his face, still wincing in pain and muttering in his sleep. The damp rag that had been on his forehead falls to the mattress, and he stills.

“What about your name? I only vaguely remember it was like Emily.” Zen says, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. They both looked toward the bed, watching as Seven’s chest rose and fell with shaky but even breaths.

“Well, my name is Emberlyn Morris, but everyone calls me Ember, well, MC called me Emy when we were in school,” Ember smiles, thinking back.

“Any family?”

She wonders for a minute if he was thinking of his own, or about the conflict between the Choi brothers, or if he was genuinely curious. “Not anymore, no.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Zen looks at her apologetically.

“It was a long time ago,” Ember says quietly. “And not a subject I like to reflect on.”

Zen looks sad but nods. He really is like a brother, or a best friend. He acts a lot like MC does; no wonder they got along so well. “Well, hobbies? School? I feel like MC said you were something of an artist?” Zen asks next.

“I like the outdoors; hiking, swimming, rock climbing, that sort of thing, and uhm, games and I do read a lot. I have a MFA in Digital Arts and a bachelors in English Studies, and I did graduate early.”

“Wow, another genius then. I bet you were popular in school, especially with the guys. You probably had that ‘sexy librarian’ look, with glasses and everything.”

Her face warms up at the awkward thought, and she considers ignoring the statement. “Um, I guess you could call me a recluse; I don’t do well with people. I wouldn’t know if someone was hitting on me unless they were actually hitting me. And I did have glasses until recently; I had corrective surgery about a year ago.”

Zen snorts, looking up at her. “So much like him,” He nods toward Seven.

“No, I’m not that smart.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Zen said, “you managed to get to this world, survive a cult that tried to poison you, managed to start getting the poison out of both yourself and Seven, and you didn’t immediately freak out when Vanderwood put a gun to your back.”

“That is less intelligence and more that I was out of my mind; survival mode, I guess,” Ember mused. She watches Saeyoung’s face twitch and still, and she wonders absently what happened to Saeran and V. She shudders, remembering the dead look on Saeran’s face, but the thought still crosses her mind that maybe, just _maybe_ he lived.

“I wonder if he’s listening,” Ember says out loud, watching the object of her fantasy toss in his sleep. Her heart aches, thinking of how he is going to hurt when he finds out that his brother didn’t make it. She wonders if she should be the one to tell him, or if it should be someone he is closer to. Maybe Vanderwood should break the bad news to him? Saeyoung knows him best, so maybe the agent should do it.

Zen laughs quietly, putting a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound. “Oh? You like the genius, huh?”

“What? I most certainly do not! I’ve never even met him in person, remember? I was just thinking…how sad it is,” Her protest just makes Zen laugh harder. She groans and glares at the actor. “You’re going to wake him up. He needs rest after…all of that.”

The comment immediately kills Zen’s good mood, and he sulks a moment before standing. “I am going to ask Vanderwood to cut your ties. I have a good feeling about you, even if he doesn’t.”

Ember nods, watching as he dusts off his backside and heading to the door. “Zen…thanks.”

“Yeah hon, no problem.”

She can’t help but wonder if he is actually this sweet, just like in the game, or if it is just because she knows MC. If he’s just acting, then what is he actually like?

Her eyes trail the shadows in the room, to where they lead up and over the Luciel’s restless legs. She wants to cover his legs with another blanket, and wipe the sweat from his face. Would he even appreciate it? Would he be like he was in the game, and refuse to be helped or touched at all?

What was he thinking before the medicine hit? Did he know his brother drugged her too? Did he know he kidnapped MC? What tortures did he go through before the drug was administered? Was Saeran trying to kill everyone?

“Get up.”

Vanderwood’s voice, along with a cloud of invisible cigarette smoke caught her attention. She was so focused she hadn’t heard him enter the room, or notice Zen drinking from a fresh water bottle nearby. She gets up, and is spun around so her back faces the agent. With a jerky motion, her ties are cut with a large knife.

“You better keep out of trouble. I want to believe Zen, but until Seven wakes up…” Vanderwood sounds as tired as Zen looks, but Ember knows better than to suggest he sleep.

“I want to help, I have nowhere to go anyway, and I know better than to fight you.” Ember rubs her wrists to ease the sting of the zip-ties.

“Fine, then start by making sure he wakes up.” Vanderwood says, turning and leaving the room. “If he doesn’t I’ll shoot you.”

“That’s harsh,” Zen grumbles.

“Then I suggest he wakes up,” the agent heads toward the door again. “I am going to be busy, don’t bother me unless something happens.”

“Yes sir,” Ember answers, watching him disappear out the door.

Zen grabs a couple water bottles and hands them to Ember with a smile. “You go sleep, Zen. You need that pretty face to be at its best when MC gets back.” She tries to smile back, and heads to the sink for a bowl of cool water. She takes a seat by the bed and rinses the discarded rag, before dabbing away the sweat and grime from the redhead’s face.

“Thanks, we owe you.” Zen says before disappearing into the living room.

Her eyes immediately get misty, and she pauses only a moment while looking at Seven, restlessly sleeping beside her. “No…you don’t.”


	4. Chapter 4

A few hours before dawn, rather than sleeping, Zen announces he needs to get back to the city. He has a show going on, and as much as he wants to look for MC, he needs to live as normally as possible for her.

Something about ‘maintaining a sense of normalcy for her and their child’.

“But…What if she comes back? Will she be there alone?” Ember asks quietly, and watches as Saeyoung flinches in his sleep. “And what about Seven?”

“I’ll figure it out. If it works the same as it has in the past, it will be a while before she gets back.” Zen looks like he hasn’t slept and Ember feels immediately sorry for not letting him get his rest. After all, it is partially due to his looks that his career is flourishing. He probably wasn’t asleep at all. “Don’t look like that; it’s making me nervous.”

“Oh, sorry,” Ember fidgets with a strand of her hair. “I’m sorry you are suffering because of this. I should have tried to stop it…”

He sighs, and pats her head like a kid. “No, you couldn’t have known. Plus, I doubt you really could have taken down the whole place on your own. Vanderwood says it was a fortress.”

“Still, MC may have not gone back, and Saer—“

“Shh!”

She clamps her mouth shut and nods. They had long since agreed not to mention Saeran in front of Saeyoung, in case the name makes him wake up. Neither Zen nor Ember wanted to be the one to break the terrible news to him.

She clears her throat softly, and inhales. “Anyway…You should go rehearse. I look forward to going with MC to your next show.”

He smiles and takes the keys from the small table. She walks the actor to the door, passing by Vanderwood, who was sleeping sitting up on a chair in the living room. Ember stops and carefully drapes a light blanket over the agent’s front, before following Zen.

The night air chills her arms as the door opens and the two of them walk out onto the covered porch. Somewhere in the distance, the howl of police sirens grow distant and a quiet calm permeates the night. If it was any other circumstance, Ember would have rather enjoyed the environment; but this is far too close to a night terror.

“I’ll figure out something to get you out of here and…sorry, for leaving you with crazy agent guy.” Zen laughs a little, and waves. “I know your phone is shot, but maybe if you kiss up to Vanderwood, he’d give you a new one? Just so I can keep in touch.”

Ember tries to match that smile, but feels it takes far too much energy to do it. “Yeah, I’ll…try, I guess. I have a feeling he doesn’t like me.”

Zen shrugs and comes back to hug her like a big brother would. “Everything will work out. We’ll get MC back, we can figure out what’s going on, and…”

“Yeah, we will. Now drive safe, Zen. If you get in a crash, I’ll be upset. And don’t get me started about MC’s reaction!” Ember pushes him toward the parked car. “And if I don’t see you by then, break a leg.”

He laughs again, the sound is musical albeit a bit tired, and he climbs in the car. Moments later, Ember can no longer see the red tail lights of the vehicle, and she returns inside.

 “You got some nerve,” Vanderwood grumbles as the front door closes with a soft squeal of slightly rusted hinges. “I thought I told you to watch Seven.” The blanket had fallen down to his lap, and he looks like he had just woken up.

“Caring for those who are closest to him counts,” Ember answers, walking slowly to the bedroom door. “Because he can’t, and I have the impression he won’t be able to for a while.”

It seems that, only then, Vanderwood noticed the blanket, and chucked it on the floor at his feet. “Yeah. I guess.”

The response took Ember by surprise; the sudden sadness that just flickered across his face told her all she needed to know. Vanderwood was not as angry, or as stubborn as he tries to let on. Really, the older agent is more attached to Saeyoung, like a brother they both didn’t know they wanted.

“You can go back to sleep, I can’t really leave now that there’s no car,” Ember mutters, trying to hide her newfound knowledge of the agent. Truthfully, she probably could get back to civilization; but the thought of leaving Saeyoung here tore a hole in her heart. “If anything happens, I’ll wake you. Otherwise, I’ll get you up at 4 am.”

He looks at her with a blank, well-practiced stare. “Yeah, okay.”

She doesn’t look back at him as she enters the bedroom, and takes up the rag and water bowl to continue wiping away the pearls of sweat and stress from Saeyoung’s face.

Despite the dampness of his skin, he is looking better; the color has returned to his cheeks, which now flush with the persistent low-grade fever. His breathing comes in steady, rhythmic breaths, the strength having returned to his lungs at some point. His face doesn’t constantly contort into grimaces of pain, but now just rest in a semi-permanent scowl, with his eyebrows furrowed together.

“Get well soon, Seven.” She whispers, brushing away the sweat slicked hairs from his forehead, and putting the cool rag across the flushed skin. “It is selfish, I know, but…I can’t wait to meet you.”

~~

_“Come on, honey, smile just a little bit. You’re graduating tomorrow!”_

_Ember wanted to glare at MC’s mom as she tried to cheer her up. She and MC were standing, showcasing their decorated caps in front of MC’s family home._

_Ember couldn’t bring herself to care._

_“Hey, just one, okay?” MC whispers. “Just enough to make mom happy.” She squeezes Ember’s hand reassuringly and a few tears develop in Ember’s eyes._

_With what little effort she could muster Ember smiles for the camera. She wished it was her own mom taking that picture. She wished her brother was making fun of her glittery, half-completed cap. She wished that her dad was nodding with approval behind them all, smiling and happy for her achievements as salutatorian._

_But they weren’t._

_“Look at that, I knew you could do it! I’m so proud of you both.” MC’s mom smiles and walks them inside the house, talking about the dinner she was going to take them to._

_Ember just wanted to go somewhere quiet._

_“Ember?” MC whispers as they walk up the steps to the front door. “Are you…okay?”_

_She didn’t realize she was crying. She promised her mom she wouldn’t cry anymore, that she needed to be strong and live._

_But mom was dead._

_They all were._

_MC was worried; she had that look on her face like she was a flinch away from leaping into action. MC had been on edge since the accident; Ember was thankful at first, but now it was wearing her down. It had been two months living with them, and although she was welcomed into the home, it was never peaceful. There was an unspoken tenseness in the air that stopped anyone from truly enjoying daily life._

_The happy-go-lucky girl Ember had been, even if she was shy, was gone. The bright days she spent laughing and being a kid, are now gray and empty. It wasn’t their fault, but even Ember knew she was causing too much trouble for MC and her family._

_She decided then, that it was a good thing she was moving far away for college. She couldn’t be a burden to anyone._

_She nods, wiping away the streaking mascara from her cheeks and forcing a smile. “Yeah, just…you know. Hey, we should get your mom to take us to that ice cream place and get giant sundaes.”_

_MC’s face relaxes and, although Ember knows she can see through it, MC is good enough to not let on. “Yeah, that sounds good! Just none of your crazy flavors in it, okay?”_

_“Deal.”_

~~

This was not a memory she particularly wanted to revisit. If there was one thing she needed, the stress of loneliness was not it. The thought of that time of her life made her head throb before she even knew she was asleep.

There is a definite kink in her neck when she realizes she’s waking up. Her eyes feel puffy, and she can feel the dampness of tears on her eyelashes. The well-worn fabric of the quilt was pressing a deep imprint into her cheek, and she wonders briefly if she had drooled.

Then she felt the bedding move.

Ember sat up so quickly she knocked the chair over, sending her backwards into the wall with a resounding thud. Her headache was only multiplied when Vanderwood rushes into the room, Taser in hand, looking about ready to shock her to death.

“What the hell is going on?” Vanderwood grumbles, glaring down at Ember. “What did you do?”

“She didn’t do anything.”

The voice was so familiar, yet hearing it with her own ears makes her cheeks heat up and she almost forgets the odd way she’s positioned, with her legs still flung over the chair, her skirt riding up one leg, and her head against the wall.

“Get up; you’re going to hurt yourself.” Vanderwood yanks her up by her wrist, and grimaces when she pulls away. “There is a change of clothes on the couch, go wash up.”

“Are you saying I stink?” She glares at him, rubbing her wrists. “I am sorry I was busy being abducted and then doing what I can to save people—“

“And now you stink.” Vanderwood grins. “Shoo, then go for a walk, get firewood, something. Just get out of the cabin.”

She stares at him a moment, until she realizes why. Vanderwood doesn’t want her around so he can tell Saeyoung what happened. It seems awful to break that to him right after waking up for the first time, but maybe that ‘s the sort of relationship they had.

“What is going on? Who is she?”

Saeyoung’s voice, although strained, breaks the staring contest and she can’t help but look at the source. His color is good, his fever is down, and he isn’t sweating like he used to. There are deep, dark circles beneath his eyes, and his hair desperately needs to be washed and combed, but otherwise, he’s alive.

“I’ll explain that in a bit. As for her…” He points to Ember nonchalantly. “She…well I’ll explain that too.” He heaves a heavy sigh, “I’ll need a smoke before, so hurry up and shower so I can go.”

“Y-yeah, sure.” She stammers, backing toward the door. “I’ll be quick.”

As promised, there was a pile of folded clothes waiting on the old couch, consisting of an oversized sweatshirt with a big white cat face on it, and a pair of sweat pants. She noticed there were no underwear, and she soon resigned herself to the idea of hand washing the ones she was wearing and hanging them to dry.

The bathroom had a little charm to it, compared to the rest of the house. There was an old style cast iron foot tub on one side, with a grandma style ruffled curtain hung from the rod above it. Gingerly, she padded across the tiled floor and turned on the faucet.

It sputtered a bit before pouring water normally. Thankfully the water heater was still working! She carefully removes the grungy dress, before looking at herself in the mirror above the porcelain pedestal sink.

Her hair was barely tamed, and terribly greasy. Her face was splotched with dirt and blood. She was too thin and her bra barely fit anymore. Her body was covered in healing scratches and bruises, mostly turning yellow with age. It seemed so long ago, that she landed in the forest outside of Magenta, but really…

She took off the rest of her clothes, washing them as best she could with the soap in the room, and hanging them from an empty towel rack. When she finally sat down in the large tub, she felt the tension in her legs finally disappeared.

Ember wondered if MC was okay; she hoped that the baby was alright, even with the elixir. As she washes over some of the deeper scratches, she wonders if her stalker was caught, or if someone managed to pull her from the river. She hopes that MC would find out, and make sure the stalker doesn’t do anything weird to her body while she’s here.

But what if they didn’t?

What if…what if she’s dead? How often has she slept now and not returned to her own world? MC had specifically mentioned that was what happened to her, so what was different? She wondered where MC was, and what she was doing when she went to sleep in the real world; was she at home, in the hospital, or does she just black out at random? Then she wondered just how long she had been knocked out by the elixir, and if she was missing any more time here.

Her hair is difficult to wash in the tub, since it had grown quite long, but after doing so, she dried and changed into the clothes Vanderwood had provided for her.

They fit strangely, but were worn in and comfortable. She could tell by the fit of the pants that they were men’s pants, and she assumed the sweatshirt was the same.  She stared at the face on the shirt as she ran her fingers through her hair to comb it, and pondered what kind of person would own a sweatshirt with a pretty white cat on it.

“Hey! Hurry up!”

Ember groans, and opens the door. “I’m done, geeze. Go smoke, addict.”

Vanderwood grunts as he grabs his coat from the back of a chair and heads to the door. “Go sit with him.” He commands, and leaves without another word.

Is he going to hate her? Does he know who she is? Can he tell she came from the same world as MC?

Her head pulsed with questions, most of which she wasn’t sure she wanted answers to. With a hesitant breath she knocks lightly on the door before pushing it open, and letting herself inside.

Saeyoung is sitting upright in bed, staring out toward the window to the morning sunrise. Vanderwood must have helped him clean up while she was in the bathroom, as he was wearing a different sweatshirt and his hair was combed out.

“Uhm, hi. Sorry to intrude, Vanderwood asked me to stay with you.” Ember says quietly, sitting in the now righted chair.

 _“God how dumb do I sound…”_ Ember thinks to herself, staring at her hands. “I wish I had MC’s confidence, and just say ‘ _Hi! I’m Ember, I know this is weird, but I really like you!’ She’d probably laugh at me.”_

Saeyoung doesn’t even move at first, but eventually his gaze does settle on her. His face seems rather blank, or perhaps the expression is just beyond what Ember could decipher; he watched as she fidgeted with the hem of the sweatshirt she was wearing. His glasses are still sitting on the bedside table, untouched.

“Who are you?”

His voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she nervously scratched her damp scalp. “My name is Ember.” Is all she managed before she dared look up at his eyes.

They looked so empty.

She remembered that look. She knew it all too well. “I um, MC is…”

His eyes suddenly looked a little bit alive with the sound of her friend’s name. “What about her?”

Ember wished he’d say more. The sound of his voice was very different in person; it was obviously his, but without the phone in the way, it was much clearer. Her chest tugged at the thought of hearing him say her name, even just once, and she hated herself a little bit for it.

“She’s my best friend.” Ember finally says, watching as his expressionless eyes squint as if to focus on her questioningly. “We’ve been friends since junior high school.”

He didn’t reply, and for some reason, that was worse than him just saying he didn’t believe her. She wished MC was there, and at the same time, wished she had more of a spine. She was an adult now, damn it!

“How did you get here?” He asks finally, looking back out the window.

“I…I don’t know,” She stammers, realizing how close this line of questioning is getting to revealing the truth about his brother. The throbbing in her head returns, hammering on the spot where her head met the wall earlier. What can she say? How much should she reveal? Will he get mad?

“Have you been back yet?” He continues without looking back at her. She wished he would look at her. She wanted to help him, but she didn’t really know how.

“No.”

“How long have you been here?”

Questions continued like that for a few more minutes. They were never direct about what happened at Magenta, but they were all rather blunt; it was as if he somehow knew something was terribly wrong. Only once did she mention V, and Saeyoung visibly tensed. His hands gripped the blankets so hard that his hands were white. Ember noted to herself to find out what MC had told him about V, and to never talk about him again.

“Alright, go get firewood or something. Whatever it is you girls do in the outdoors.” Vanderwood interrupted the 20 Questions after she had managed to calm Saeyoung down. “Don’t come back till dusk, or I’ll shoot you.”

“I’m starting to think you don’t like me,” Ember sighs standing. “That, or you really don’t mean to shoot me.”

“Out!”

“Going, geeze.” She heads to the bedroom door, stopping only once and gathering the rest of her courage. “It was nice to finally meet you, Saeyoung,” and she closes the door gently behind her. She saw his eyes go wide, even though he obviously tried to hide it, but she knew Vanderwood would get angry if she lingered any longer.

By the door was a pair of newer sneakers and a pair of clean white socks. Neither were the style she would have worn, but then again, she’s wearing men’s clothing in the middle of the forest in a world she didn’t belong to, so how could she complain now?

The forest breeze was cool, but not cold. The sunlight felt warm against her skin, and she felt a little bit more energized being outside. It seemed like forever since she was able to walk about, even if it was somewhat leashed.

She thought about a lot of things as she made her way up the mountain, heading in no particular direction; Zen’s show, MC and the baby, her job, the stalker, Saeran, and of course…

A giddy giggle escapes her as she realizes she finally met the man she had given her heart to so long ago. He was, even in this state, more handsome than in the game; his eyes were much deeper, like amber, and his hair was calling to be touched. Her face warmed up at the thought of her hands running through it. She just hoped that someday, if she was lucky, he’d let her.

A branch catches her sweatshirt and the cat’s face contorts in her peripheral. “Strange, it looks a bit like how Elizabeth 3rd would look…” she thinks to herself.

Could this be Saeyoung’s shirt?!

There’s only one person who would put THAT cat on a sweatshirt, and that would be Seven. There is no doubt in her mind that he would do it too. It is well worn in, which means it isn’t new and the idea of Jumin wearing such an item was absurd.

“Okay, calm down, it was probably just…all that he could find…” She tells herself this out loud, but also can’t help but bring the collar up to her nose and breathe in. Mostly, she smells the soap she used in the bath, but beneath it…there is something sweet, something she can’t quite name; it must be the owner’s scent.

“Focus! No getting weirdly fangirlish on him now. This…this really isn’t the time.” She slaps her cheeks and shakes the thoughts from her mind. “For now, focus on firewood and exercise.”

She was steadily making progress when she heard a howl over the wind. It was muffled, and now, quite a distance from her, but there was no mistaking who it was. Ember was eternally grateful to not be close when the news was broken to Saeyoung. Her soul felt like it was shredded on the spot, and for the first time in ages, she willingly cried.

The sun was down behind the tree-line by the time she made her way back to the cabin, with arms full of kindling. She had resolved herself to not cry, making the promise to Saeyoung this time, to live and to be happy, because now he’d need someone to cling to, much like she had.

Vanderwood was sitting on the porch, his head in his hand with a cold pack between, and a cigarette in the other. He looked terrible; she did not envy his position at all. “He’s asleep.” He says quietly as she climbs the steps. “He…keep an eye on him.”

“Of course, you don’t need to tell me.” She says with a smile. “I take it that it didn’t go well…”

He shakes his head, “Don’t ask. Just go in. I knocked him out, so he should be asleep for a while. Go sleep. I have work to do, to try and get us out of here.”

She does as he says, going in the cabin and putting the bundle of kindling by the fireplace. She lights the stove, starting some water to heat, before peeking in to the bedroom.

He was asleep, but it was obvious there was a struggle too. She didn’t want to know what method Vanderwood used to knock him out, but she had a feeling that he would have a terrible headache on top of the grief he felt, when he wakes later.

She wished she knew what to say to him. Maybe it was selfish of her, but she wanted to be the one to comfort him, not only because she loved the man long before she met him, but because if there was one thing she knew about Saeyoung, it is that he blames himself for his brother’s struggles.

This would be just another thing for the man to take on himself; Ember couldn’t let him do that.

She tucks his arms beneath the blankets, and straightens out his hair, and leaves a bottle of water on the table beside him. “I…I am sorry.” She whispers to him, and kisses his forehead, before leaving the room.

She makes two teas, and takes one out to Vanderwood, who had a pile of cigarette butts growing at his feet. “It takes a lot of courage to do what you did; you’re a good friend,” She says quietly.

He snorts and looks into the tea she had handed him, before taking a sip. “It is messed up. This whole business is just…so messed up.”

She nods, sipping her tea. “Did…did he do okay?” It was a foolish question, but she couldn’t think of anything else to ask.

“As okay as you’d expect. He lost the only thing he ever valued. Even though…” Vanderwood stops himself, and drinks down the hot tea in a single go.

“I know you are both agents, Vanderwood. I know about it all; just like MC did.” She says as bluntly as possible. “You don’t need to dance around the subject. I don’t know the agency, nor do I care to, but I know the general subject.”

He looks at her and sighs in resignation, rubbing the growing bruise on his right eye. “He wasn’t supposed to keep in touch with his family. Shit like this happens to agents; you have to be able to distance yourself from it. I always thought he…he wasn’t cut out for this, even if he is brilliant.”

Her tea is leaving a bitter taste in her mouth, for some reason. “He has had a life that didn’t let him have anything for long; so the only valuable thing he had was his family,” she dumps the tea and picks up both cups.

“I don’t know if he has it left in him,” Vanderwood stands, stomping out the last cigarette butt. “I really thought…he was going to do something stupid.”

The thought of this implication caught in her throat like a pinecone. It was only a few years ago she felt that way; everything she lived for was gone, all except for MC. She shakes the thought from her mind, and fixes the practiced smile on her lips.

“Then we’ll have to show him there are always things to live for.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

The first day came and went with little change. Saeyoung refused to eat, refused to drink, and didn’t move except to blink. Vanderwood insisted on staying near the room most of the day, barking orders to make food, bring water, light the fire, get items from the bags of clothing by the living room door (when had Vanderwood gotten those?). He never spoke, and sometimes, Ember wondered if he was even breathing.

Zen stopped by early on day two; he was riding his motorcycle. Ember wanted to be mad about it, knowing that he couldn’t possibly focus enough to ride safely, but didn’t bother voicing it, as he did stop by to check on the situation.

“Yoosung had an old phone, and said I could have it.” He said, handing her an old iPhone. “I got a new card thing for it, and added it to my account for now.”

Ember turns the device on, and surprisingly it works just fine, even though it is rather outdated. “Thanks Zen. I’ll make sure and take care of it.” She smiles at him, and looks back to the bedroom door behind her, and sets the phone on the table. “You should talk to him.”

“Yeah…I don’t know what to say to him though,” Zen answers with a nervous shake in his voice. “I mean, what COULD I say?”

“Sometimes just being there is enough,” Ember says, watching the still unmoving form on the bed, and seeing Vanderwood pace from one end of the bedroom to the other. “Just let him know you care, and that you’re here.”

He nods and enters the room, passing by Vanderwood who closes the door most of the way. “I don’t like that he is so…lifeless.” He sighs, plopping down on the couch with a tired grunt. “He’s never been like this. We’ve been in countless dangerous situations, I’ve had to set his broken leg TWICE without medication. Did you know he was once trapped in a boiler room for three days without food or drink? We have even been tortured for information while on a mission, and still we got out.” He looks at Ember, and his face looks like he’s almost given up. “I saw him devote himself to his friends, even though he shouldn’t have them. I saw that girl, MC, turn that loud, annoying shit into a quiet workaholic—and I have no idea how. But until now, I have never seen him actually give up on living. He still isn’t eating. He won’t even answer me.”

“We’ll figure it out, don’t worry,” She comforts the agent, hoping that her promise isn’t going to be broken.

Zen emerges a few minutes later, looking rather distraught. “I…I don’t know what to do about him. But I’ll be stopping by on the way, so I can keep everyone informed. And let me know if anything changes, okay? I had Yoosung put our numbers in that phone so you can call anyone to let them know.”

She picks up the phone and sure enough, there are only five numbers in it, including MC’s. “I will. But Zen, what did you mean by “on your way”?”

“I’ll be camping out by the crazy cult building,” Zen says rather nonchalantly. “In case MC comes back, I don’t want her alone in that place.”

“What about the show? And not to mention your health!?” Ember asks, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him. “You can’t just abandon your wellbeing for her! She’d hate it!”

He laughs awkwardly, as if being chastised by his mother in front of friends. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. I was going to sleep there after rehearsals and shows. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I WILL worry!” Ember adds, now folding her arms in front of her angrily. “If you start getting sick I will be upset, and you better believe I’ll make sure you don’t continue this ridiculous schedule of yours.”

He pats her head and grabs his helmet before heading to the door. He’s avoiding her gaze and the over-protective nature she exudes. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Zen, don’t you dare get hurt! I don’t care how fast you heal!”

He waves as he climbs on his bike and puts the helmet on. “Bye bye!”

Moments later all that’s left is the echoing rumble of his bike engine and a cloud of dust on the dirt road.

Seven didn’t eat that day either.

That night, while her beloved redhead slept, she sat up alone, leaning on one hand, and flipping the phone around in the other; back, screen, back, screen…

She wakes up the device, and absently dials her voicemail. There is little chance it will work, but she wonders if somehow it is connected.

“We’re sorry, the number you are trying to call is disconnected or no longer in use…” the mechanical voice chimes. She doesn’t listen to the rest of the message. Ember didn’t know what she was expecting, her phone was very much dead, and the chance that she could actually get through to MC on the other side were slim. Obviously the knowledge to pass dimensions or whatever it is was lost to her, and that was beyond frustrating. She was disappointed nonetheless.

She thought about messaging the other members; that is what MC would do in her place. She would want them to be familiar enough with her so if something happened, they could trust her enough to come help.

But Ember wasn’t MC; she wasn’t able to do that. If something terrible happens, she’d have to be on her own, because the idea of talking to strangers—much less talking to the rest of the RFA—was simply out of the question.

The night passed uneventfully, watching the flip of the phone in her palm, trying to keep her calm and empty her thoughts. Screen, back, screen back…

The following morning, Vanderwood had to leave in order to restock food supplies and ‘stuff’. Ember knew well enough not to ask any further details, and just nodded when the man ordered her to care for Saeyoung in his absence.

He even gave her the Taser.

“If he tries to do anything stupid, shoot him.” Vanderwood says, trying to sound tough. “It is enough to knock him out if you can’t restrain him.”

“That is a bit excessive,” She mutters, but takes the surprisingly heavy device from the agent. “You could put your number in my phone too, so I can get ahold of you.”

He grabs the phone from her, and in a moment hands it back. “There, if you give it to ANYONE I’ll shoot you.”

“I know, I love you too. Now if you don’t leave soon it will be dark,” She grins at him playfully and he lets out a rather familiar exasperated sigh.

“You’re starting to sound like…”

He stops himself mid-sentence and looks back at Seven, staring blankly at the ceiling now.

“Don’t worry; I’ll keep an eye on things.” She assures him, but in her own thoughts, she wonders if she really could stop him from hurting himself.

Of course she could, she’d have to. If she let him do anything like that, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself, or face MC and the other RFA members again.

He turns and leaves abruptly; Ember gets the impression he does it in order to prevent his own hesitation. She doesn’t see where he goes as the door closes, and she doesn’t hear any motors or really anything at all for several minutes, until she grabs the meager breakfast from the counter and takes it into the room.

“Seven, you need to eat.” She says, sitting on the bed beside the nearly comatose man. He doesn’t even blink. His eyes are shadowed, graying, as if the color in them is being slowly eaten away by the guilt and anger in his heart. “Come on, please.” She looks down at the bowl of rice porridge, searching for some kind of answer. “I know it’s hard. God himself could see how much you hurt, but…” she lifts a small spoonful from the bowl. “I can’t live knowing I didn’t try.”

It is a selfish statement. She knows it. She hates it. But still, she says it, and draws the spoon close to Saeyoung’s closed lips.

His eyes flicker down to her face, but he doesn’t open his mouth, nor does he say a word. She can see the depths of his despair behind those eyes, and she desperately wants to grab onto whatever threads of hope he could possibly still have.

“Saeyoung…” she pleads, “Just a bite.” Still he stares. She thinks through everything she knows about him, every little piece of information, every detail.

She remembers the way he reacted to MC’s name. A knot grows in her stomach, but she takes in a confident breath, and with a stern face, takes up a full spoonful. “MC would really get angry if you didn’t eat, even a little. Do you think she’d be at all okay with this? What kind of friend would allow you to wither away?”

It sounded forceful; it sounded like what MC would say. She didn’t want to mimic her friend, she wanted Saeyoung to hear and see HER. But that stone in her gut grew as his eyes seemed to focus a little bit closer to her movements.

If making him believe MC is behind her motivations gets him to eat, then so be it.

With a little force, she shoves the spoon to his lips, and to her relief, he does allow the food to enter his mouth. She watches his jaw chew a few times and the bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallows. He turns his head away, once it is done, silently telling her not to bother with a second spoonful.

“Better. I’m sure she’d be happier with you eating the bowl, but this is a start,” She says as cheerfully as possible. “We’ll try again later, okay?”

He doesn’t move, just stares at the window, not really looking at anything in particular.

Zen stops by late that night, bringing her a change of clothes; she recognizes the style as something MC would have worn, and thanks him. This would be the first time in ages she’d been able to fit into MC’s clothes, but wearing Saeyoung’s spares had gotten a bit annoying.

He looks tired, but puts on the act that everything is fine. He says his show didn’t start till the following week, and that rehearsals were quick, so this was fine. Ember didn’t believe a word of it.

Vanderwood returns before dawn, and leaves shortly after breakfast.

The next day is about the same. And the one after.

The following day, another rainstorm wakes her on the couch with a rolling clap of thunder. The rain doesn’t help her mood, and the couch doesn’t help the perpetual kink developing in her neck. Saeyoung is still sleeping, so she rises and prepares some breakfast.

It is demoralizing for Ember, but despite wanting to give Saeyoung his space to grieve, she also can’t help but be the constant protector too.

Laundry is finished and hanging to dry by the time Saeyoung gets up to use the bathroom. As expected, he refuses breakfast, and returns to his bed while she does dishes and cleans the kitchen and bathroom.

At lunch, Ember takes an apple and a small portion of porridge into Saeyoung, and the same speech from days before ensues. This time, he allows her to feed him a small slice of apple too. It is progress, even if only a little.

“I want to say that it gets better,” She says to him, while attempting to comb his unwashed hair. “I want to say the hurt goes away.” Her fingers work out the deeper knots, but it takes a while since his head lies like a lead weight on the pillows. “It doesn’t, but you get used to it. It becomes part of you, like anything else.”

It probably isn’t the right thing to say now, but she didn’t want him living with unrealistic expectations. This kind of pain doesn’t go away; it is something that one just grows numb to. She tries to imagine what her mother would look like now, what her father would be doing, and if her brother ever made it out of military school. The thought brings those despised tears to her eyes, and she’s a little thankful he doesn’t look at her.

She tries to massage his scalp gently as she works, to ease the pain from the terrible knots in his curled hair.

“When you are feeling up to it, I should give you a haircut. MC wouldn’t want to see you wearing a rat’s nest on your head, and you know she’ll be back soon.” Every time she brought up MC to him, he reacted. It was never much, but in idle conversation, it was as if a small spark lit in his soul, as if that was the only glow of life left in him.

Ember can’t help but feel a little jealous; she wonders if Seven actually has feelings for MC.

She spends the day tending to small things; clipping his fingernails, changing his shirt (she couldn’t manage to get him to help with pants), shaking out the blankets, wiping down his chest, arms and legs with a warm soapy rag (since he refused to get up for a bath), manually moving his limbs and rolling him to his side to prevent muscle atrophy and bed sores, talking to him about various subjects in some attempt to keep him even mildly distracted, and obviously trying to get him to eat.

It was a lot of work.

By the time Zen came back that evening, she was exhausted, but welcomed him as warmly as possible. She put on her practiced “I’m fine” smile and showed him into the room.

“Hey, Seven.” Zen greets with a smile. “You’re looking a little better today. Um, is Ember taking good care of you?”

She leaves the room hearing the one sided conversation, and smiling to herself. Was he really improving? It had only been a couple days, but maybe her efforts were not going unnoticed.

She took care to make up dinner for Vanderwood (he always was nicer when food was involved), and ate a little herself, while listening to the muffled sound of Zen’s voice in his one sided conversation with Seven.

~~

_It was raining._

_It never rains this time of year._

_But it was strangely appropriate for the day._

_The police officer beside her held her hand, but it felt cold and uncaring, even in this gesture of reassurance. She couldn’t even cry then. She couldn’t feel at all._

_“The accident…father died on impact…brother…coded in route…” Another officer was saying everything carefully, but only a few words seemed to register. She could do nothing but stare at the old faded carpet in the living room, while the police officer broke the news to her._

_“Your mother…in surgery…ICU”_

_She remembers the stinging scent of cleaner and that overly sanitized scent that hospitals always reek of. She remembers the squeak of the nurses clogs on the stark white tiled floors. She remembers so many tubes and wires, and the beeps and hums of too many machines._

_“Em…” Her mother’s voice was barely a whisper. She could almost not be heard over the wheeze of the oxygen mask attached to her face. “Don’t cry, my darling.”_

_“M-mom…” She stammered. “Don’t go…don’t leave me alone!”_

_Mother smiled, pain pervades the once soft lips, making her wince. “I will never leave you alone, my darling girl.”_

_Ember took up her hand, weeping onto it like the tears would somehow bring back life to the broken limbs and ruptured organs. Her mother was steadily bleeding out. She knew it. Mom knew it. The doctors knew it._

_“But…I can’t do this, momma. I can’t…” She cries, shaking uncontrollably. “What’s the point? What can I do?”_

_“Live, smile like you used to, love like you know how short life…can be.” Mom chokes, her jaw clenching in pain. A nurse appears, and increases the flow of pain meds in the IV. “Don’t forget what it means to live, and don’t cry for us, we can’t feel pain anymore.”_

_She remembers crying, hearing her mother hum an old lullaby until the monitors go from a rhythmic beep, to a constant wail, and the doctors escort her from the room._

She wakes up to a dark room. Her face is once again resting on the edge of Seven’s bed, on top of her folded arms. She can see Vanderwood’s stiff form leaning against the window frame, looking out into the rain. The thunder and lightning hasn’t let up, and it lights the room in a pale glow with every strike.

There is a quilt draped over her shoulders.

Saeyoung’s eyes are cracked open, staring blankly at the ceiling again. He looks tired, more so than usual, and she can feel the muscles in his legs quake beneath the blankets.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep early,” she says, standing up and folding the blanket. “Go to sleep, Seven. You need your rest.”

Ember leaves, thinking of the sound of those horrid hospital monitors, and thankful she was walking out on her own.

She doesn’t notice the gaze following her. Her body aches and her legs feel heavy as she shuffles across the floor. She doesn’t see that he has shifted in bed, and is watching through the cracked open bedroom door, as she sits down shakily on the couch, and cries into the palms of her hands.

~~

“You aren’t going.”

Zen looks stunned at Ember as she blocks the door. She sips at a strong coffee and doesn’t take her eyes off of the haggard actor. He looks too tired to get genuinely angry, but she knows he’s trying his best to appear that way.

Too bad for him that MC was her best friend; they talked at great length about how Zen would behave under almost any circumstance.

“You can’t keep me,” Zen threatens. His eyebrows furrow together, and he grips his helmet beneath his arm snugly. Ember wonders for a moment if he intends on trying to muscle his way through her.

“She can, and she will.” Vanderwood sneers with a somewhat playful grin. He is leaning against the doorframe of the bedroom, watching with amusement as the ever-impressive Ember stands firm against the irate actor. “I taught her how to use that Taser. You better believe she’ll use it.”

The last few days had been uneventful, with the exception of Zen looking steadily worse for the wear. She knew he wasn’t eating properly, and she knew he wasn’t sleeping, as he was riding his bike to Magenta, rather than taking a car. Zen would not be the type to be able to rough it out here in the forest. She could imagine him saying “No way! Do you have any idea what it would do to my posture? And the bugs! I’ll get bug bites, and they’ll ruin my skin!”

The resulting conversation seemed necessary and Ember was not going to back down on it.

The night before, she made a deal with Vanderwood; get a car, and she’d do whatever he asked, as long as the two of them could take over shifts looking out for MC. He thought about it at first, and he never gave her the cost for this request, but when he got back that morning, he was driving an old looking truck.

“So…what, you are just going to leave her there?” He asks angrily.

“Don’t push me, Zen. You aren’t listening.” Ember scowls, and picks up the set of worn down keys. “Vanderwood and I will be taking shifts. You will sit here with Luciel, sleep, and go home in the morning.”

He looks defeated, and shocked, and somehow relieved too. “That doesn’t seem fair. I mean, you’re already taking care of Seven during the day, doing all the cleaning and cooking, how can you live staying up all night too?” Zen eyes her, trying to use her own logic against her.

“Shifts, like I said,” She answers plainly. “Two on, one off. We don’t want Luciel alone, and we don’t want MC alone. Trust me, Vanderwood can stay up for days, and I’ll just have to learn.”

“Fine. Then let me call Yoosung. He’s been bugging me to help anyway. And he’s been worried about Luciel.” Zen pulls out his phone and immediately calls the youngest RFA member.

“He can’t come here, not yet,” Vanderwood cautions. “I don’t think he’s ready.”

Zen nods and talks to the boy on the phone, stepping out onto the porch and out of direct earshot. “Are you happy now?” Vanderwood asks, watching Zen pace like a trapped lion in a cage.

“I am not happy about any of this, but if I don’t worry about everyone’s wellbeing, nobody will,” Ember states, finishing the coffee and putting the mug in the sink. “This way I can make sure everyone is taken care of.”

“You trust awful fast, Ember. It is dangerous,” Vanderwood says while picking up another mug of coffee.

“Most of life is dangerous. There are too many things that need attention, and if I worried about everything that is dangerous, I’d get nothing done,” She smiles and grabs a water bottle and a bag of dried fruit mix from the stash of dried goods. “Now I expect you to sleep as soon as Zen leaves, so you can cover tonight, okay?”

He laughs. Perhaps he isn’t used to a civilian giving him orders, but he relents and grabs the spare pillow and blanket, tossing them onto the couch. “Yeah, boss. Sure.”

Zen returns minutes later, smiling. “Yoosung agreed, and says he’ll cover Friday night through Saturday, since he won’t have class.”

“Good, then it is settled. Go home, Zen. Get some sleep. We got this.” Ember pushes him backward toward the door. She is a bit shocked about how hard his chest and stomach are; no wonder MC likes him so much. “And I’ll see you in a couple days.”

“Okay, okay!” he laughs. “I’m going, but you better call if ANYTHING happens.”

“Go!”

She shuts the door with a slam and folds her arms triumphantly. “Finally, people are listening to reason. Why is it that hard? It is like trying to bathe a cat.”

“And probably as painful,” Vanderwood chimes in from the couch.

“Between the two…I am thinking I’d take cats,” she smirks, and waits as he finishes his coffee, before taking it to the sink and washing them. She busies herself in the kitchen for a minute, planning what she was going to make for dinner, and putting aside food for her night watch.

She had spent much of the morning preparing dried foods, extra rice, bottles of juice and water, and made sure there was an ice chest available, and was routinely freezing ice cubes for it. With a content sigh she wipes her hands off on her apron before slinging it over one of the dining chairs, and retreating toward Seven’s room.

“Oh, thanks for the coffee; I missed the stuff,” She adds, turning to Saeyoung’s room. “Sleep tight.”

Vanderwood is perplexed at the Ember’s comment, as she walks away. He didn’t want to say it at first, but the idea wouldn’t leave. Sure, he had picked up coffee beans when he was getting supplies last time, but he had yet to open the package, or did he tell her they were there. It wasn’t as if he hid the coffee. But, they were still alive, meaning the drinks weren’t poisoned, so there shouldn’t be a problem.

The only thing is he thought _she_ made the coffee that morning.

“You sneaky son of a…” He thinks as he drifts into sleep with a faint smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a long chapter. But yay, stuff is happening!  
> Thank you to everyone who is still reading!

The building seemed so much darker than it had only weeks ago.

The windows were boarded up, and the electricity had been shut off after the investigation had ended. There was still police tape across the lower level windows and crisscrossed over the doors. Somehow, despite the building being very new—at least in this world—the place looked utterly and totally run down and deserted.

Ember couldn’t help but decide to break the rules and ripped the tape off of one of the rear windows and climb inside the familiar kitchen.

With her phone flash light on, she slowly walked around the house; it was eerily silent, and seemed almost more dangerous than it had before everyone just…

“No, no thinking about that.” She says out loud to herself. It was clear that no one had actually entered the building yet, and she could see things still sitting as they had been left when she was acting as MC’s ‘servant’ weeks before.

“MC?” She calls out once, just to make sure. Her voice is weak, and shaky, feeling the tension of breaking the law by entering the scene of an investigation. She always was the goody-goody; and the thought that she might get caught made her stomach to flips in spite of her determination.

She wandered the upper halls, inspecting the rooms while being careful not to touch anything that may be important. She wondered how many people actually died from that so called elixir, and she wondered how many people there were just like her.

The hours ticked by as she inspected each room, taking in small details and gathering the story of her captors. There had been at least 20 people living in the mansion before that fateful night; as evidence of written records and recorded names in the many bedrooms. Of them, only a handful of rooms looked as if there had been any sort of investigative interaction. So her guess, including Saeran, maybe four or five others had lost their lives here.

That means that some 16 or more people just ‘went home’.

It makes her feel somewhat more alien.

Sometime around midnight, her phone rings, which makes her yelp from the sound and sensation in the otherwise deathly silent night.

“Anything?”

Vanderwood sounds rather uninterested, but she can also just catch the sound of voices in the background.

“No, nothing,” Ember answers, trying to steady her heart. “What’s going on?”

“Zen brought that blonde kid here,” Vanderwood grumbles, clearly making sure the other two men heard him. “Zen insists that Luciel would be better off with other familiar faces.”

“Come on, you know that’s true!” Zen calls somewhere in the background. Ember doesn’t hear Seven at all, which is not all that surprising, but she had hoped that having more members around would help.

“All it’s helping is my headache!” Vanderwood yells back. Ember can just make out Yoosung’s whiny tone over Zen’s laugh.

If it was any other situation, she would have felt rather good about the sound.

“Well, I’m sorry, but I won’t head back till dawn. You’re stuck there till then,” Ember tells the agent, “But my condolences to your sanity in the meantime.”

“You are a cruel woman, Ember.”

“I love you too, now go make sure they don’t do anything stupid, like give Yoosung alcohol, or Zen any cigarettes. I’m trusting you on that,” Ember smiles to herself as she pushes open the door to the basement stares. “I’ll bring the truck back by 8.”

He grumbles in response.

She stumbles first into the dungeon part of the basement.

She can find the broken remains of a yellow cell phone in one of the cells, and the familiar black sweatshirt.

“I wish I had been faster; I’m so sorry Saeyoung,” She says quietly, picking up the shirt and holding it to her chest. “I’m so sorry.”

Thankfully, none of the other cells looked like they had been recently used.

Still clutching the sweatshirt in her hand, she made her way to the basement computer lab.

She wasn’t sure what she was looking for when she tore the police tape off of the door and entered the lab.

She wasn’t sure what she’d find, if she found anything noteworthy.

The lab was picked over by whatever forensics group had done the investigation; the main CPU was missing, as was a file cabinet that was sitting beside the junked computer parts. She remembers the big panels of the massive screens, and the whirr of multiple computers running in tandem.

But they seem to only have taken the main unit.

She circles the room, inspecting the parts, following the cords and coming to a somewhat hidden closet off of the main room. If you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t have even noticed it was there. She laughed at the ineptitude of whatever investigative force had been through here. It hadn’t taken her very long to locate it, and yet they had missed it entirely.

Or, perhaps they just didn’t find it important enough.

She throws the sweatshirt over her clothes, wondering briefly just how dirty it was, and deciding it wasn’t really important. Silently, she opens the closet, finding a rag-tag mass of external hard drives, laced in multiple layers of cords that formed something of an electronic fishing net across the shelves.

She knew the power was turned off, so she didn’t hesitate to slowly remove each of the six external hard drives, and every flash drive in the room, bundling them in an abandoned backpack, along with Seven’s sweatshirt, before returning to the truck just as the sun begins to crest over the tree line.

~~

“Okay, ready?” Ember asks, standing behind Saeyoung in the bathroom, with a comb in one hand and scissors in the other. A towel was draped around his shoulders, and she had the giant cat sweatshirt thrown over her clothes. He just stares at her in the mirror’s reflection, and she takes that as a ‘go ahead’.

His hair was still wet from his shower, so combing it straight was relatively easy in small bunches. Still, even with the hair clean and shimmering dark crimson in her fingers, she couldn’t help but be nervous.

It had been years since she tried to cut men’s hair, and she really didn’t want to mess it up. She carefully trimmed everything down and talking at length about every memory she could muster about MC.

“There was a time, before the game, when she went camping with my family, and she hadn’t been tent camping before,” Ember smiles, clipping away hair and combing up another lock. “Having to show her there were no showers in rustic camp sites, and oh my gosh, when she found out she’d have to take a shovel with her to poop! It was priceless!”

She tries to ignore the fact that he looks roughly interested in MC. His eyes have gained their color back, but they still seem to stare through her, rather than at her most of the time.

“That was the trip that my brother told her he liked her. She was not happy, and we went home early; it was so awkward. I had driven us up there, and after that my stupid brother…” Ember’s hands stop as the memory catches up to her words. “My…brother got in trouble, so the trip was cut short.” Ember’s eyes burn and she puts the scissors down on the sink. “Sorry, I’ll be right back, okay?”

Ember’s face is prickling as she feels the tears start up again. “Damn it!” she curses beneath her breath, as she goes to the kitchen sink and splashes cold water on her face. The chill only brought her back to the task at hand, and stopped the heat from the threatening tears. As the water shuts off, she hears the distinct sound of metal clinking on the bathroom sink.

NO!

Her right foot catches on a kitchen chair, splitting the end of her toe, but the blood seeping into her sock doesn’t stop her. She bolts back, sliding on the carpet and falling into the doorframe of the bathroom. Seven had stood up, picked up the scissors, and now held them quite firmly in his right hand. Frantically, she searched his bare arms and chest for signs, and only spotted a few drops of red on his left shoulder. The sound of her crashing into the room makes him look to her. His left hand was full of wads of red curls.

“Saeyoung, give me the scissors,” She pants. His eyes reflect the panic on her face, and his grip loosens. She can’t help but start to freak out in her thoughts about what to do if he doesn’t comply. The Taser is in the living room. By the time she ran and got it, he’d have done too much damage. Could she physically stop him? Probably not, his bare arms are plenty evident, even with the dwindling health, that he is strong and fast. Could she talk him down? What would she say?

What would MC do?

“What have you done? All my hard work, I was trying to make it look nice.” Ember struggles to fight the adrenaline shaking in her knees, and the image she was expecting to find in the bathroom. How could she have been so stupid to leave the sharpest tool in the cabin RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

He doesn’t fight her when she grips the blades shut, and pulls it from his hand. She could see the faint glimmer of fading anger in his eyes as she draws close and mutters under her breath. “How stupid am I? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

The left side of his head had a fist sized plot of significantly shorter, jagged hair. She guessed he had taken a handful and just snipped as close to the scalp as he could. She could see where he cut a little bit of the skin in one small spot, which was bleeding profusely into his hair. “Seven…” She tosses the scissors to the floor, and she doesn’t wait for them to land on the bath mat before using the large towel on his shoulders to put pressure on the cut on his head. “Please…please don’t do that again. If you wanted it shorter, you could have told me.”

He just stares.

The jagged hair looks angry, but soon the blood stops and she looks at the damage done. “Well, I guess I’ll have to let Vanderwood know that you wanted to buzz cut your hair.” She sighs, trying to think if there was any way to hide it and keep the hair she had loved so much.

This was not the way she wanted to run her hands through his hair.

“Well, I guess we’re just gonna have to work with it then,” She grins, picking up the scissors and continues berating her own ignorance. “It isn’t the look I would have picked, but I bet your hair grows so fast.”

She begins again, cutting evenly, but far shorter, and before long the floor is littered with red curls.

An hour later, the scissors are dangling from her limp fingers as she sits on the edge of the tub. She knew better. She was so scared! How much damage could he have done while she was busy crying for herself!? He is the one that is in pain; he is the one suffering.

Ember can hardly lift her head to look toward the sound of padded footsteps that approach from the living room. “I’m sorry Saeyoung. Give me a bit and I’ll get lunch, okay?” she whispers, mostly to herself, even as she senses the person get closer to her prone position.

Then the small first aid kit comes to view, as it is set on the floor by her bloodied foot.

Saeyoung kneels down, still shirtless, and picks up her foot. He isn’t rushed, and he doesn’t look at her. It is very to the point—animated almost. It was as if he’s doing this because he knows he has to, not because he wanted to. His cold fingers pull the sock from her foot before opening some antiseptic wipes. Her eyes are so trapped by the movements of the toned muscles in his shoulders and arms as he works, that the sound of his voice actually makes her jump.

“What happened?”

The scissors drop to the floor with a heavy clunk, and her eyes go wide. It was the first thing he’d said to her. The sting of the medicated wipe makes her clench her teeth and her eyes water a little, which snapped her back to reality.

“What?” She asks quietly.

“Your story,” he replies, still not looking up at her. He dabs on some medication, wiping the residual blood and medicine on the leg of his pants, before pulling out a selection of bandages.

“O-oh. Well…” She stammers, and her hands grip the edge of the bath tub, and stares at his fingers as they open a bandage. “I took her home, and returned home myself.”

“You were talking about your family.”

She clenches her eyes shut. “Do you really want to know?”

“I asked, didn’t I? You’ll just make me listen to that story again later.” He applies the bandage.

“It isn’t a good story, sorry, I think it would just bring down the mood,” Ember tries to appear happy, at least in the tone of her voice. She felt he was insulting her; and a biting, feverish anger began to scorch her eyes. Make him listen to stories? Does he really think that’s what she’s doing?

“But now I want to know.”

It was the most he’d said to her, and she wanted to continue the trend, despite being agitated by his tone. His voice was soft, but slightly raspy from lack of use. The touch of his fingers on her foot as he slips on a new, clean sock send shivers up her legs, and she can’t help but feel warm, despite the subject of their conversation.

He looked up at her, his face deadpan, expressionless, but patiently waiting to hear her answer. Her heart is screaming to keep it hidden, to not tell him, she doesn’t need to give him more to worry about. But her mind sees the way he looks right now, as if he is almost searching for any kind of connection to humanity. Her suffering could be used to bring him back to life. She swallows and hardens her nerves.

“I don’t want to talk about it, sorry.”

“What, now you’ll shut up?” He asks coldly.

“What...how…can you say that?” Ember stammers, suddenly at a loss for words.

“Did you ever think that maybe I didn’t want to hear your stupid stories?”

She stares at him, and his face reflects nothing; his expression is totally flat, uncaring.  How could she have gotten his real personality so very wrong?

“If that is what you want, you should have said something earlier!” She growls, feeling the anger she had been hiding, mix with the weeks of worry, exhaustion, and boil over with resentment. “I’m sorry I felt you needed to feel human, that you deserved some sort of comfort!”

“I DESERVE NOTHING!” he yells back, suddenly looking very angry. “Who are you to decide what I do and do not deserve? Have you any idea what life I’ve led? Do you know anything at all about me?!”

She stands, wishing he hadn’t just shown what little bit of kindness he was apparently capable of, and picking up the scissors. “I know a lot, Saeyoung. Someday I hope you can see that.”

With that, she leaves the room, hiding the scissors under a couch cushion and waiting for the redhead to retire to his room with a slam of his door.

How had this turned so bad?

She rubs her temples, easing the pressure of a stress headache that begins to cluster in her skull. She was tired, she was frustrated, and most of all…

She was hurt.

~~

The next morning, Zen stops by. The noise of his talking with Vanderwood wakes her from the restless sleep on the couch.  She hears him talk about Yoosung keeping watch the night before, and thanks the agent for helping.

“Is she sleeping?” Zen asks quietly. The question barely registers in her hazy minimal consciousness.

Ember rolls over, tucking the blanket between her ear and her shoulder as she curls up into a tight ball. The blanket doesn’t help muffle the noise much, but the action does cause the men to shuffle to the kitchen, out of sight.

“Yeah, I think so. She hasn’t lost much more weight. I am still concerned though,” Vanderwood replies. “She devotes more energy to the most menial tasks than I do for most of my complicated missions. I don’t know how more she’ll take before she just breaks.”

“I wish MC was here, she’d know what to do…” Zen sighs. “Seven is more of a handful than I expected. But…he is improving, right?”

“Yeah, actually.” Vanderwood shifts, pulling out one of the chairs and sitting down. The creak of old wood permeates the white noise that fills Ember’s ears.

“He gets up some times, but only for necessary stuff, bathroom, shower, that kind of thing.” Vanderwood’s voice was fading from her as she drifted back to sleep. “But I wonder if he’s doing more while people sleep.”

The actor sits in silence for a minute. “I wonder…Maybe if we convince him that Ember is a good person, he’d be more receptive?”

Vanderwood shrugs, standing and getting a cup of coffee from the pot. “I don’t know, it seems to me that he is more into your girl, than Ember. It’s a shame really, Ember’s not half bad.”

Zen nods, looking back at the huddled form on the couch. “She is a bit like MC, but still different. I think Ember is what Seven needs, even if he doesn’t realize that yet.”

“What makes you so sure?” Vanderwood asks as he sits back down.

“I’m the love expert, you can ask anyone,” Zen laughs. “Plus, I have a theory. I should talk to Seven…I think she really likes him…” Zen’s reply was the last thing she hears.

~~

“I’m so sorry, Ember. I totally forgot about it.” Zen sighs on the other end of the phone, and even above the static she can hear his worry. She sips the coffee in her hands, thanking Vanderwood silently for making it when she fell asleep during the shift watching Magenta the night before. “I didn’t remember the after party after the show tonight, or I would have said I couldn’t go.”

“Don’t worry about it, Zen. I’ll figure something out.” Ember looks around the cabin, wondering if there was a chance that Vanderwood would be back in time to stay with Saeyoung.

“How is he doing, by the way? I mean, he hasn’t…you know, tried anything, right?” Zen asks hesitantly.

“He is better. He’ll get up sometimes, and he’ll eat from time to time. He’s lost a bunch of weight though, and still won’t say anything.” Ember sighs, peeking through the door to check on Saeyoung, who is sitting in the chair in the room, looking out the window.

She didn’t mention the conversation after the hair-cutting accident. She didn’t want to explain how much Vanderwood threatened her for leaving him with a weapon he could hurt himself with. Honestly, she was not sure he could actually bring himself to betray his faith and kill himself, no matter how much he hated himself.

“That’s great! It means you’re doing a good job,” Zen cheers. Ember laughs quietly, watching as Saeyoung turns a little bit to look over his shoulder. He doesn’t turn all the way around; just enough to notice that he is listening to her. “Maybe you could take him with you this time? I bet it would do him good to get out a little bit, as long as you’re careful.”

“I don’t know, Zen…” Ember thinks a minute, and turns away from the door. “I don’t know if he would want to leave, but…maybe if it was to help MC he might.”

“Yeah, there you go!” Zen sounds much more enthusiastic than Ember likes. Maybe Zen doesn’t realize just how attached Seven is to MC. If he does, then he certainly doesn’t show it.

“He seems to perk up when I mention her, so maybe, maybe I can get him to come with me this time. Otherwise, I don’t know, maybe skip watching the building a night.”

“That’s not an option; if you really can’t then I’ll figure out a way to get up there.”

“No Zen, you won’t. I’ll get this; just do what you gotta do. It’s already been over two weeks; we can’t risk her coming back and finding you a zombie just because you didn’t want to her get back here alone,” Ember chastises. “Besides, this maybe a good opportunity. He hasn’t even hinted at wanting to go out yet.”

“Okay, but if you can’t let me know, okay? I’ll make up something and get up there as soon as possible.” Zen’s voice is muffled by the sound of numerous people in the background talking. “I gotta go, talk to you later.”

“Break a leg, Zen!” She cheers back as happily as possible, and hangs up.

She makes lunch like usual, fixing a small sandwich, some fruit, and a glass of juice, and taking it in to Saeyoung. “It isn’t very imaginative, but it’s what we got today. Turkey sandwich, some berries, and today’s juice sample is…Hawaiian punch. Okay, so it isn’t really juice, but it counts right?” She makes herself sound as cheerful as possible, as she pulls up a chair beside him and puts the tray on her lap.

His eyes stare at her with a blank expression for a minute, before taking half of the sandwich she hands him and nibbling at it. She doesn’t have to force him to eat, but he won’t yet get his own food. She hands him food, talking about Zen and the show he’s performing, giving what little bits of information she can, and showing Saeyoung the pictures that Zen sends. He doesn’t answer, and most of the time barely acts like he registers her presence.

She watches him finish the last bites of sandwich, and waits as he returns to staring out the window. Ember wasn’t expecting anything from him; since her story time in the bathroom, he hadn’t spoken a word. The one thing she could say was that he was less reluctant to accept her attention. He didn’t fight her presence, fight her efforts to help him, or even just make her work harder, he had begun to be cooperative. Until recently, she almost hadn’t noticed, but after the fight, he had changed.

Somewhere in her heart, she hoped it was his way of saying he was sorry.

She didn’t talk to him the same anymore. Ember kept her words short and sweet; she justified it at first as just following his wishes. She remembered how many times she snapped at MC after the accident, how often she wished MC would just stop talking, stop hugging her, calling her, making her eat and sleep, making her do her homework…

But in the end, it was that attachment that kept Ember from fading away like Saeyoung was.

She wanted desperately to just hug him, to tell him she was going to stay by his side no matter what, that he needed to just let it go, that it wasn’t his fault.

Instead she kept quiet. It was not hard for her; she felt she spoke far too often for her own comfort level anyway. So when she sees he is watching her, with some unasked question lingering in his eyes, she finally got down to business.

“Well, let’s just cut to the chase then. Want to go on patrol at Magenta tonight?”

 ~~

Ember shuts off the engine, letting the old truck come to a shaky stop, before engaging the parking brake. The sun was still an hour from setting, but there was a palatable eeriness that permeated everything around them.

“Well, here we are,” She says, feeling immediately silly for saying something so dumb. “It might get cold, so I brought a blanket for you. Oh, also some food and hot coffee.”

Seven seems entirely unmotivated; his head is leaning in his hand, with his elbow resting on the door. He didn’t fight her about going today; even though she would have allowed him to. This was not a good place for him, and Ember was more than aware of that.

The sun was painting bright oranges and pinks with the clouds, and she couldn’t help but watch the sunset through the rear view mirror. It was so peaceful, so beautiful; it made this place seem less dark. By facing that way, you couldn’t see Magenta, or any signs of civilization, just the sunset and the forest.

“Hey, I have an idea, come on,” She grabs the bag with the blankets and pulls the keys from the ignition. With an overly energetic bounce, she hops from the driver’s seat and tosses the bags into the bed of the truck. Saeyoung watches her in the mirror, acting as if he wasn’t curious by what she does; Ember is so focused that she doesn’t notice him watching her.

She lays the blankets down along the bed of the truck, padding it with whatever was available, and tossing the pillow she grabbed in case Saeyoung got tired, on one side. With a triumphant grin she waves him out of the cab.

The sky was growing steadily darker, and the colors of the skies were getting even more beautiful. “Come on Seven!” She laughs, pulling him along by the arm of his sweatshirt. It was enough to drag him to the tailgate, and for him to stare in awe at the bedding. It was essentially a bed, and they were the only ones around...

“Oh! I…uh, it isn’t for that.” She mutters suddenly realizing what he may be thinking. “The stars are really bright out here, and I thought it would be nice to see them, so I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable…”

He pats her head like a kid, and hops onto the tailgate. She waits till he is settled in the corner with the pillow behind his back, and his head resting against the back window, before climbing into the bed of the truck. She can’t help but think somehow this is more intimate than the cabin; even though she had been in his room, sleeping beside him, when he wore very little due to the fever. Her face flushes with the romantic, sexually charged images that play in her mind as she slides back to sit beside her redheaded hacker.

The silence that follows is calm, but there are so many lingering questions that feel like they are just about to crawl on her skin. She doesn’t know who wants to ask what, or if they both do, only that there is so much to be said.

“Ah, there’s the first one!” She points into the sky excitedly, breaking the silence for the first time in several minutes. “I used to think it was magical, somehow. Funny huh?” She opens the thermos and pours the steaming coffee into one of the mugs, handing it to Seven. “I used to think that if you really wished to be strong, you had to wish on that star.”

She pours herself a mug and recaps the thermos. “After all, in my little kid brain, it takes a lot of strength to be the first star at night, and then stay bright all night long.”

Saying it out loud, it seems much more childish than she had thought. Her face blushes anew. “Obviously that isn’t the case,” she adds, sipping her coffee. “At least, it didn’t work for me.”

“Maybe it did?” She hears him whisper, as he squints into the quickly darkening night.

She wondered about his words, curious if he had meant her to hear them, and curious what thoughts were running in his mind right then. For a few minutes she watched him as his face seemed to relax, and his eyes darted from star to star as they slowly popped into view. She didn’t want to upset him, and she certainly didn’t want to bring light to the fact that he almost, almost looked happy.

Slowly the wind carried away the noises of sunlight, bringing with it the peaceful chirps of bugs, the occasional croak of a distant toad, and the rustling of leaves. That same wind seemed to take away the pensive air that had filled the truck just minutes before, leaving behind a comfortable peace.

It had been a long time since she felt this comfortable; she hardly registered the cold metal truck bed beneath her rump, or the chill that was seeping through the cat sweatshirt and into her arms. Saeyoung’s body heat seeped into her hip, where it was touching the blankets he was cuddled up in, and to her, in that moment, nothing could go wrong.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She asks quietly, finally looking away from his face, and into the night sky.

Seven jolts slightly, as if he suddenly became aware he was sitting beside her. He shrugs, looking only a moment at her, then back up at the sky. Ember had hoped he’d say something, but when a faint smile crests his lips, she has to willingly prevent herself from gasping.

The sight is beautiful.

The stars light up enough of his skin that he seems to almost glow, and his hair is a deep violet under the blue hues of night. His eyes, transfixed on the heavens, look like galaxies, wide and bright with life and vibrant with curiosity. This was the reason she fell in love with him, and she can’t help but feel that familiar swell of emotion in her heart.

She just wished that he felt the same when he looked at her.

Her eyes cast up to the sky again, listening to the steady chirp of bugs and the distant hoot of an owl. Peace reigned again, but she couldn’t help but feel just a little disappointed.


	7. Chapter 7

The hours drifted by, and after the food was consumed, the coffee long since gone cold, they remained in the bed of the truck, looking up at the sky. Even this small thing was calming to his heart; and he could almost feel as if God isn’t so far away. Saeran must be up there too, he was such an innocent kid, surely he didn’t mean to do it; he can’t have wanted to do it…God must have forgiven him.

He wished, just for a moment, that this was as simple as life needed to be, and everything else could be forgotten behind the night sky. Ember had been really quiet for the last couple hours; he wondered if she was worried about angering him again. He was too ashamed of his behavior to apologize to this woman, the one that was in almost all respects, perfect for him. She worked so tirelessly, so selflessly to ensure his safety and mental stability; and he couldn’t admit to her that she was keeping him alive. Being with her was a strange comfort to him; but right now, it was perfect, and he wished it would not end.

The thought of her smile crossed his mind just as a bright star shoots across the night sky, and disappearing into the distance.

It must have been well after midnight when Saeyoung glanced over at the woman next to him. Her head rested against the rear window, kinking her neck at a weird angle. Her long, golden hair was falling in tangles down her shoulders and across her forehead. He can’t help but feel a little bit excited as he watches her chest rise and fall beneath that sweatshirt; it wasn’t long ago that Vanderwood had threatened to burn if he didn’t stop wearing it. He wonders if she knows it is his. She shifts a little, and he realizes he’s been staring and noticing small details about her; the birthmark over her right eyebrow looks like a teardrop, the color of her hair looks like 24 karat gold in the light, the length of her eyelashes, and the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs hard enough…

Even wearing that giant sweatshirt, she shivers from time to time, curling her legs up toward her chest.

She never once complained about the cold.

She never once complained about anything.

A lock of hair falls into her face, and before he notices, he gently lifts it, and puts it behind her shoulder. He stares, somewhat dumbfounded at his hand, as if it had somehow acted of its own accord. A sudden wave of guilt and anger wells in him as he clenches his hand and shoves it beneath the blanket as if to hide it from view.

“Stupid hands,” He thinks, scowling at callouses that had developed from working on the computer too long. “It’s your fault…” He watches her for a moment before scooting closer to her.

“I wish I hadn’t found Saeran’s work,” he whispers, gently covering her with the warm blanket, and drawing her close to him for warmth. “I am so sorry; I messed up, and I should have known better,” she sighs, her head nuzzling into his shoulder.

She was cute.

His self-loathing boils up, chastising his thoughts. Why is she acting like this anyway? Hasn’t he pushed enough? She is too innocent, too kind, too…alive. She doesn’t belong anywhere near him. He destroys people like her. She’d be better off hating him. Should he be crueler to get her to go away?

Does he really want her to go away?

“Why do you like me?” he whispers, running his fingers gingerly through her hair. “I don’t deserve it; I should die for my sins.”

She frowns in her sleep, muttering under her breath, just quiet enough that he can’t entirely be certain of what she says.

“I lo…ve…”

He remains like this until dawn, and when MC doesn’t show up, he wakes Ember. She looks disheveled, and apologizes for falling asleep on him right away. Perhaps before now, he would have been attracted to the ruffled hair, the hiked up shirt, and the sleepy, flushed face. But he can’t let himself fall into that thought.

He didn’t have the heart to speak to her, even as she carefully folds up the blankets, gathers the remnants of food containers and trash, and climbs sleepily into the driver’s seat. He hopes that MC would be back soon, so Ember can get away from whatever pain he is going to put her through.

Plus, he wanted to make sure of a few things. The nagging unease that turned into a landslide of guilt just kept building with each passing day she spent at his side.

At first, it was just a selfish desire; look at, replicate, and improve that program that he found on Saeran’s computer. He had managed to bring MC over somehow; his brother was brilliant that way. So when he had replicated it, and input his own criteria, he didn’t really expect it to work quite this well, especially since he didn’t have access to the recipe for the elixir.

He had to ask the only person who knew Ember well enough to tell him the truth. Had he messed up her life by bringing her here?

~~

“Zero Seven! What the hell are you doing?” Vanderwood bellows from the doorway. Saeyoung sits, sulking in his own thoughts, ignoring the food that Ember had brought him before she left to monitor Magenta.

He sighs and looks at his keeper with a somewhat angry-annoyed expression.

“Answer for once, you…”Vanderwood growls, folding his arms. “Do you have ANY idea of what that woman does for you?”

He nods, still not giving Vanderwood the satisfaction of a verbal answer.

“Then why are you treating her like trash? You must be dumber I thought; one of these days, someone else is going to come along and take her away. What will you do then? Sulk about in your computer room, staring at pictures and pretending you don’t care?”

It was getting hard to listen to Vanderwood; he wanted to get away from him, he wanted to just be alone for a little while. The thought of Ember coming home to him in solitude deterred that train of thought enough to endure the wrenching feeling in his chest.

“It’s MC, isn’t it? You still think you have a chance with her or something? Geeze, you need to get a grip. At least be nice to Ember, even if you don’t do anything else.” With that, Vanderwood leaves the room.

Yeah, MC was a good part of it; he could admit that. He still liked her, despite knowing that she and Zen were inseparable. He just knew that he felt something for her, and couldn’t shake that, even though he was certain she’d never leave Zen.

Maybe that was why Ember intrigued him so much? They had similarities, some in appearance, some in personality, but more in the sensation their presence gave him. Ember’s touch reminded him of the way he felt when he was researching MC; it is electric, exciting, curious and new. The comfort that MC provided when Saeran first came home is identical to the comfort that Ember gives him now that Saeran is gone. And he recognizes the look that Ember has in her eyes when she thinks he doesn’t notice; it is the same one MC gives Zen.

But therein lies the problem; everything goes back to MC.

His mind goes in circles, trying desperately to sort out some sort of solution, but ultimately he can’t. His feet hit the cold wood floor and he goes into the living room, where he sees Vanderwood on the porch smoking another cigarette.

“I want to go back home.” Luciel says, before going to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. He doesn’t wait to hear what Vanderwood says, just returns to his room and closes the door, trying to shut out the noise of his own thoughts in the process.

 ~~

“…So you’re telling me…that I have to LIVE with him?” Ember gasps, watching Vanderwood load the last of the food into the bed of the truck. “What about MC? Are we driving back and forth every day then?”

“Yeah, sounds right,” the agent grumbles, and shuts the tailgate. “Consider it the price for getting you the truck in the first place. I can’t stand being in that house most of the time.”

“But—“

“No excuses. You said you’d do whatever I asked in order to keep watch on that stupid building, and I’m telling you to do this.” He hands her the keys. “And don’t let him drive it.”

She is stunned, and can’t seem to make a single coherent thought. Saeyoung tosses a duffle bag into the bed of the truck, and opens the passenger door without so much as looking at her. She is totally dumbstruck by the sudden decision.

“It is my turn today to watch the building, don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Vanderwood tells her, stretching his arms above his head dramatically. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to MC if she shows, and I’ll be back before you know it.”

She nods, holding the familiar keys in her palm. She’s going to be alone with Saeyoung for a long time, and she has no idea how she’s going to handle it. “Hey, don’t look like that. Don’t let him bully you, okay? If he lays so much as a finger on you, call me, and I’ll come beat the shit out of him.”

A weak laugh escapes her as the agent heads back into the cabin to make one final sweep of the place. The jeans she’s wearing are stained and wrinkled, and she realizes she probably looks like she’s been living in the forest for the past month.

Yeah, it had only been a month.

In one month, she was chased in the forest, jumped off a cliff, ended up in a fantasy world with characters she believed existed only in a game. She met MC, who had been visiting the world for a while, but can’t seem to stay here, and found that Saeran was dead. In one month, her world was flipped entirely upside down.

But really, what did she have going for her back home?

The stalker, a normal job, items and relics of her family that were long since dead and buried, and the disillusioned hope that someday she could meet someone that made her feel like that Hacker God from her favorite game.

She couldn’t even hope for that last one now.

In one month, she went from a suspect, to a confidant, befriending Zen and gaining Vanderwood’s trust. Vanderwood was so mean at first, but now, she almost wonders about how serious his threats are. She sees the way he looks at her, as if she is something of a curiosity, or perhaps the way a spectator would look at a beautiful work of art in a museum. In the end, Vanderwood is selfless, and was always giving up his time and energy for Saeyoung.

In one month, she had not made even a fraction of the progress she had in the game in 11 days. She laughs in her thoughts, thinking how silly it is to believe he would fall in love with her in only 11 days. Not when he still yearns for MC.

Jealousy bubbles in her gut, but ultimately, she feels sorry for MC; she’d hate to have to tell one friend that she couldn’t love them, because she was in love with another.

“Alright, you’re good to go. I put the directions in your phone earlier, so even if that jerk doesn’t give you directions, you can always look it up. Oh, and a translator app is on your main screen, because, well you know.” Vanderwood scratches his head nervously, sighing to himself. “And really, don’t let him take advantage of you. You’re better than that.”

“Y-yeah, thanks,” Ember smiles at him, before stepping up and embracing him in a hug. He stiffens at first, and she can feel him sigh into her hair as he wraps his arms around her and hugs her back. She can’t help but wonder if this was the first time someone has tried to approach him like this. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. I just can’t help but feel like this is good bye.”

He ruffles her hair and laughs, “Na, the agency won’t let me ditch the kid, no matter what he does to me. You can’t get rid of me so easy.”

“Ah, yeah, right. Alright then. You have food for the day, water, not to mention wheels to get back?” Ember shakes the worry from her mind, and headed to the driver’s door.

“Yeah, stop worrying. I got tricks up my sleeve. But hey,” He looks like he is about to say something, and then stops himself. She almost sees his cheeks blush a little beneath his unruly hair. “Thanks for everything. He may not say it, but I know how good of a woman you are, and you have done a lot for us.”

She smiles, and opens the creaky door. “Thanks, but I haven’t done anything special.” She climbs in, fastening her seatbelt and rolls down the window. “Don’t hesitate to call me if you need me.”

“Get going already, he’s getting impatient.” Vanderwood motions to the passenger who looks annoyed.

She starts the truck and puts it into gear. It is a sad moment really; leaving this cabin was the only home she’d had since she got here, and although she hasn’t been here long, it feels like so much has occurred. “Alright Seven, let’s get you home.”

It takes two hours before they make it to the city proper.

Ember never much cared for big cities. She hated living in one while she went to college, and disliked it more when she had to move to a larger one for work. It was one of the reasons she was hesitant to move in with MC; she didn’t want to live in yet another city. They were so sad, so empty, so cold, despite being filled with people, bustling from place to place, with shopping centers and entertainment at every corner.

“Turn off at the next exit.”

It was the first words he’d spoken since they left, and she quickly changed lanes. “But the directions say—“

“It’s a shortcut.”

He still looks out the window, not really even paying attention to her driving. She had worried at first that he’d be rather critical of her driving habits, since she was overly cautious and tended to drive slower. She was in an old truck though, so maybe he was being lenient; she wonders if he’d let her drive one of his cars someday.

Probably not.

“Are you looking forward to going home?” She asks happily, turning off at the exit. “I bet you’re probably bored.”

He shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Okay then, you’ll have to direct me from here, the phone isn’t showing me how to get there from here,” She says after they come to an intersection.

“Take that street there, then turn right at the gas station,”

He does direct her through the winding back roads and residential streets, until the houses begin to thin out and they emerge into a sparsely populated district. At one point the area looked like it was farmland, maybe orchards, with quaint farm houses nestled in between new, modern looking large estates. Only a few cars were out, even during the early evening, when most people would be driving home.

“See the steel gate there? Turn in there.”

Ahead and to the right is a solid, 12 foot tall stone wall fitted with a metal door. It looked like some sort of military compound entrance, and she could only wonder what the house itself would appear as. When she stops in front of the door, Saeyoung opens the door, coming to the driver’s side, where a glowing panel lights up. He inputs some code and the distinct sound of metal gears sound, before the gates slowly open.

The house looks strangely normal from the gate. He climbs back in the passenger side. The driveway is rather long, leading from the gate through a relatively well manicured, lawn covered front yard, and up to a shockingly normal looking 50’s bungalow style home. There is another fence, this one made of a sort of chain link, and she can see a screen lit up alongside the gate that leads to the front door.

“Head to the garage,” He says, nodding to the white garage door. She stops and waits a second, before she opens the window.

“What are the first five recognized dwarf planets in our solar system?” a computerized ‘feminine’ voice asks from a speaker by the door. Ember looks at Seven, who doesn’t even flinch. 

Ember waits a moment before she sighs, “Ceres, Pluto, Eris…” Saeyoung turns to look at her, his eyebrows perked up as if suddenly interested. “Shoot, um…” she takes out her phone and quickly types out the question, “Oh, Makemake and Haumea!”

“How did you know that?”

She smiles to herself as the garage door opens, and a gate appears, like the ones seen on shops in the mall after closing. “You aren’t the only one who graduated college early, Saeyoung.”

“Where was PhD Pepper created?” The voices asked, and she could almost feel how smug Saeyoung was, even without looking at him.

“Texas I think,” She says. “By some pharmacist or something.” She turns to see Saeyoung’s mouth clamping shut, as if suddenly at a loss for words. The metal gate begins to lift, and she can see the garage clearly now.

The floor doesn’t stop at the back wall of the garage, instead it goes down into an underground parking area. “You would have an underground bunker for your babies,” She mutters as she eases the truck down the narrow driveway.

The path lights up as she inches along, and Saeyoung sighs in annoyance at her hesitation. “I don’t know anything about this place, so stop complaining.” She grumbles before they come up to yet another door. “Geeze, I get now why Vanderwood hated your house.”

Saeyoung smirks and doesn’t move.

“Who is the greatest cat ever, meow?”

She laughs, but now is stumped. “Uh, Elly?”

The door doesn’t move at first. She looks at Saeyoung who doesn’t respond at all. What other cat could he be talking of? “Lil’ Bub? Longcat? Angry cat? All cats?”

A chime like you won a slot machine rings out and the door slides open.

“Holy….” Her jaw drops as the huge underground garage lights up in bright florescent lights. Five of his fancy cars still sit, still shining as if polished moments before. There is a spot in the middle where the red one she had seen at Magenta must have been parked.

“Heh, pretty, aren’t they? I bet they’re lonely.” He says, reaching for the handle. “Park it over there, by the Lambo, it will make my baby look even better!”

He hops out and heads to the door she presumed led to the house. “At least he’s talking,” she mutters to herself before pulling into the cramped space, and grabbing what bags she could, and following Saeyoung to the door.

She isn’t in the least bit surprised to find it locked with a whole series of questions. “Saeyoung!” she roars, knowing he probably can’t hear her, but is likely watching her from the security camera posted right above the door.

~~

The computers in his lab fired up as if they had never been left alone. He knew he didn’t have much time before Ember would figure out how to get in, and he had work to do.

Maybe she was good for that at least; motivation. No wonder Vanderwood likes her.

The surveillance screens flared to life, and sure enough, Ember was there at the garage door, arms folded and her face scowling in concentration. He added a handful of other questions to the queue, just to give him more time, before turning his attention elsewhere.

It took some time going through the firewalls, the passwords, and the various other security systems he had set up on his private server. Finally, he reached the partitioned section of personal, secret materials that he didn’t tell anyone about.

Here were the pictures and documents concerning Saeran, the search results and information about MC, information on Vanderwood and all of the heads of his organization.

And _that_ program.

He hesitated only a moment until he heard Ember answer three questions without hesitating. “I have to be sure,” he mumbles to himself, opening up the section where he had input his own criteria, and then to the results window.

_Hair: Blonde, Eyes: Blue, Height: 5’5”, Weight…_

Most of the read out was blank; the only filled spots were from information he had input when he first ran that stupid program. He had felt guilty about it even then, but loneliness does strange things to the mind, even when you know better. He should never have attempted to actually use that program; having MC going between worlds was enough, but bringing Ember here too, just to see if the program would work like Saeran’s had…

His eyes scan the code, searching for any clue that the woman outside the door is not who she says she is.

_Family: unknown, Place of Origin: unknown, Known Associates…_

But there was nothing. Like MC, there was no information about her that linked her to anything. The guilt and self-loathing he had been bottling up solidified into a ball in his stomach. For a moment, Vanderwood’s smug face flashes into his mind. Saeyoung’s stomach churns and the distinct fires of anger start to burn in a totally different way.

He didn’t want Vanderwood to take her away. Vanderwood isn’t any better than him, equally as dangerous, and half as smart. Yeah, he was good looking, and for a minute, he could almost imagine the two of them together. He had noticed how close they were, and he had tried to not feel so much when Ember had hugged the agent. He knew Vanderwood well enough to read his body language, and there was more there than just another person to protect. He quickly shook the proceeding thoughts from his mind, ignoring the jealousy that was adding fuel to the fire. Vanderwood could physically protect her, sure, but he doesn’t like that either.

“No, not Vanderwood,” He says to no one in particular. “It can’t be Vanderwood.”

He had hoped that there was somewhere else she could go, somewhere she could be safe and won’t be hurt or endangered because of him. He had hoped that there was someone who could claim her, shield her from the pain and suffering this world would surely bring to a girl he thought was the closest thing to an angel that he’d ever be able to meet. He wondered briefly if Jumin could fit, but the idea of the two of them together seemed like a dangerous combination. He was out of ideas.

He had hoped she had something…

MC belonged here only in passing, which means Ember was alone, and beyond him, there was no one else.

 


	8. Chapter 8

It takes the better part of an hour and a half before Ember gets into the house.

She’s opens the door into something like a mud room; coat racks, boots, some tools, car washing equipment, and random machinery parts line the shelves along the visible walls. “Saeyoung?” she calls quietly, pulling her shoes off and lining them up along the wall by the rest, and entering the house.

From this small room, she hears absolutely nothing; no hum of household equipment, no clicking of a lone wall clock, nothing. The absence of noise is unnerving. She shuffles quietly, still holding the bag of food in one hand, and climbs the staircase leading up into the kitchen.

The lights are on, and it is evident that _something_ happened there recently. There were dishes piled in the sink, and many were starting to stink; the garbage had the distinct buzzing noise of flies that had gotten into the house.

The part that got her attention, though, was the floor.

Originally, the floor was a checkered white and black tiled floor. Now, even in the dim light, she could see debris covering seemingly every 12 inch tile in the room. Carefully she steps over a toppled storage shelf, and enters into the kitchen. One of the counters had an obvious point of origin for the damage to the room.

A shattered plate lay in shards on the floor, fragments of glass from a water glass scattered along the floor and on the counter. What looked and smelled like remnants of food were still plastered on the cupboard beneath the counter, and a splattered, sticky brown fluid, now long since dried into a tacky splotch, coats the floor and baseboard.

She could almost imagine what had happened.

Somewhere in the house, she could hear the rattle of keys as someone furiously typed away.

“Saeyoung?” She calls quietly, not really certain what to do in this strange house. Ultimately there was no answer, and she was left, arms full of bags, to fend for herself.

“Well, Vanderwood must have some cleaning supplies around here, so I guess that’s a good place to start,” she sighs, plopping the bags on the center island of the kitchen, and gingerly stepping over the broken shards.

It didn’t occur to Ember until she had been thoroughly cleaning for an hour that the stubbornness of the soiled kitchen was due to the fact that it had been sitting for nearly a month. “Vanderwood, I didn’t agree to be the maid now; that’s your job,” she grumbles as she scrubs the remnants of PhD Pepper off the floor.

It is dark by the time the kitchen is clean and the perishable food thrown in the garbage. She could hear the steady tapping of keys, the occasional sigh, and the frustrating beep of the computer refusing to follow commands. By the end of the work, the sound was little more than a distant song that kept the house from being deathly silent.

The house was huge.

There was the staircase and hall that led from the underground garage, and—she imagined—more secret agent type rooms, the kitchen that had been bigger than most of the house she grew up in, which opened up into a large living room and dining room. There were jeans, socks, boxers and shirts tossed all over the floor, flattened down and covered in a thin layer of dust in the living room. A pile of sweatshirts was lying atop a bright red recliner, also obviously neglected for the month away. A pyramid of empty Dr. Pepper cans was stacked beside the black leather couch, incorporating the trendy metal and glass side table. The large flat-screen tv was off, and covered in dust, mounted on the wall across from the locked front door, and was bigger than most of the windows in the room.

The living room had two large hallways leading from it. One stretched from the far end of the living room, which contained several doors, most of which were locked. She could hear the furious rattle of keys behind the double doors, and assumed that it was Saeyoung’s computer lab.

She entered one dark room, and found the floors littered in pages from a notebook. She flicked on the light, and picked up a page. It was clearly the frantic, but anguished rants of Seven’s late brother; pages filled with repeated sentences.

_“Why? She’s mine, she’s supposed to be mine,”_ scrawled in shaky chicken scratch writing over most of the pages. The top layers of pages were different, and by looking at the pages, you could feel the change in the young man’s grip on sanity. The newest, topmost pages were little more than scribbles; multiple layers of ink, in varying colors, words that hardly made sense or were totally illegible. The layers on the floor read like diary entries, questioning Saeyoung, questioning his own feelings for the woman he brought here, and the occasional questioning if he was right to feel so possessive of her.

“Poor Saeran…” Ember sighs, placing the pages on the abandoned bed, and leaving the room.

The other hall led along the front side of the house, which was mostly comprised of unused guest bedrooms and two bathrooms. She claimed the center bedroom, which had a set of French doors that opened up into the rear garden, and had the en suite bathroom attached. The room was mostly unadorned and looked like a business hotel room; sleek, modern style black platform bed, matching dresser, night stands with metal lamps. It looks fancy, but cold and unlived in.

She puts down her sack of borrowed clothes on the bed, ignoring the scent of dust that wafts up, and throws open the French doors. The evening air is cooling, and she can feel the dampness of the hair along the back of her neck chilling against her skin, still sweaty from cleaning the kitchen and exploring the house in the heavy sweatshirt.

After shaking out the comforter, and using a bath towel to dust down the flat surfaces in the room, she takes a much deserved shower, before heading out into the deserted house.

The scent of food catches her nose as soon as the door opens.

“Saeyoung?” She asks, walking softly down the hall and into the living room. A light from the other hall catches her eye, and she can see the door to the assumed computer room cracked open a few inches, letting a beam of blue light into the hall.

On the counter in the kitchen is several boxes of carry out. Sushi, ramen, salad, fruit, dumplings, something looking like stir fried veggies, and several other boxes of dishes she didn’t recognize. A bottle of soda stood opened behind the mountain of food, and upon spinning the recognizable bottle around, had confirmed it to be PhD Pepper.

“We have got to do something about your soda consumption…” She mutters to herself before getting a bottle of water from the fridge, and making her way back to the open computer room door.

His back was facing her, his silhouette darkened from the bright screens in front of him. His fingers tapped away furiously, typing lines of code at the speed of thought. Two screens had screenshots of algorithms and blocks of code, another one had open official documents, something that looks like government reports at a distance, one smaller one that was obviously surveillance feeds, and the other two were filled with moving text, where Saeyoung was adding more code.

He had a large plastic tumbler, covered in super hero stickers, half filled with soda. She watches him pick it up absently, taking a big swig of it, before returning it to the desk surface. There was no plate of food nearby, nor were there any evidence of him having eaten at all.

“Go eat before it gets cold,” he says without turning around.

“You need to eat too, Seven,” she answers simply. “I’ll eat when you do.”

His hands stop and he sighs annoyed. “Fine, I’ll be there in a minute.”

She takes a seat at the newly cleaned kitchen island, and idly fiddles with the label on the water bottle until he shows up. She smirks as he sighs audibly again, noticing she had not touched the food at all in his absence. She follows him from the cupboard for plates, through the line of food, picking bite sized portions of almost everything he had ordered.

“This is way too much food, Saeyoung,” she says, nudging a dumpling over to fit some of the mystery dish. “You won’t be able to eat all of these left overs before they go bad.”

He shrugs, not turning around to face her as he pours a refill of his soda. “Vanderwood will eat it.”

“Still, this is a lot. But, thanks. For getting food.” She felt suddenly bashful and shuffles toward the table with her plate.

“You have been cooking for us for a month, and didn’t ask for a thank you. You don’t need to thank me for something like this.” He stands there; picking at food and chewing it, watching Ember sit quietly by herself at the dark table, before he puts his plate down at the seat next to hers.

She pauses, stunned for a moment; she had not really expected him to willingly join her to eat. It has always been something of a chore to get him to eat in her presence before. She couldn’t help but wonder why the sudden change, and more importantly, if it was a good one.

They ate in silence for a while, and Ember was totally content with that. This mundane event was having a strange effect on her; it had been years since she ate at the table with family. There was something strangely comforting, unique, familiar, and yet very new and nerve racking. Sitting alone with just Saeyoung at the kitchen table, eating dinner that he bought…it seemed almost too intimate.

“I transferred your phone to a different account, by the way,” Saeyoung says after scraping the last bits of rice from his plate. “Zen doesn’t need the extra charges.”

“Oh, um, thanks.” She answers quietly, standing and taking both of their plates to the sink. “I don’t have any way to pay for it though.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he answers, filling his glass again and drinking it in one go. “It is the least I can do, and you’ll need it.”

She nods, taking the sponge and cleaning the plates as she hears Saeyoung shuffle around to find lids and whatnot for the open containers, and piling them in the nearly empty fridge.

“Thanks,” she says once the kitchen is clean.

“Stop thanking me.”

He doesn’t sound angry per se; his voice is a mix of frustration, anger, and maybe sadness. She watches him pick up the bottle of soda and make for his computer room.

~~

Saeyoung never leaves that room.

Vanderwood is asleep on the couch when Ember wakes up the following morning. He is covered in dust and dirt, but otherwise looks fine. She still doesn’t understand how he got back, much less how he did it in such a short amount of time.

Even after making breakfast for the two of them, and a large pot of coffee, Ember can still hear the clicking of a mouse and the tapping of the keyboard from down the hall.

“It wasn’t too bad, I hope?” Vanderwood asks groggily as she places a mug of coffee on the table in front of the reclining agent. “And thanks for cleaning.”

She chuckles a little, sipping at her own coffee. “I figured it would be nice to get a break from the chores. I don’t know what he’s working on, but I am going to guess he won’t be leaving for a while.”

Vanderwood eyes her, inspecting any clues as to what she is actually thinking. Despite being an open book, he wonders if everything she truly thinks and feels is worn so openly. Surely someone who can put up with Luciel this long has some sort of special training, or been through worse things.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Ember smiles, noticing his gaze lingering too long on her.

He shakes his head, choking on his coffee a little. The sound of her quiet giggle makes his heart leap a little. “Sorry, I was just lost in my own thoughts, that’s all.”

“I noticed,” She smiles. “Okay, he hasn’t come out yet. I’ll be back after I take him some food.”

“You’re too good to him, Ember.” Vanderwood calls as she goes back to the kitchen to fetch the breakfast she had made, and carrying it to the computer lab.

He is still sitting at his desk, but water droplets dot the back of his neck, and his skin is dewy as if he had just gotten out of the shower. She is thankful that he had not sat there all night, but scowls at the idea that he probably didn’t sleep either.

“Saeyoung, breakfast,” She says from the door, pushing it open with her foot. He doesn’t turn around, instead reaching for the empty glass and holding it up over his shoulder. “No, you are getting real food first.”

Maybe he had forgotten she was there, but he spins around, a brief expression of shock on his face, before he returns to the screen, instantly closing all of the open windows on the screen as she approaches.

_“That’s not suspicious at all,”_ she thinks to herself as she puts the plate down on the only empty spot on the desk. A new chip bag crunches beneath the plate and she sighs, pulling the bag out.

“Eat, and I’ll get you soda. For now, water, fruit, and omelet.”

Saeyoung grumbles, looking sideways at the plate of fresh cooked food, before agreeing and she leaves the room.

“Too good to him…” Vanderwood sighs, his arms folded as she enters the hallway. “Seriously Ember, you shouldn’t be so nice to him. What has he done to deserve it?”

She doesn’t answer right away. He isn’t wrong; she can’t deny the fact that he hasn’t done anything to earn her treatment. But in reality, does that matter?

“He didn’t do anything,” She says quietly, “But loosing someone close to you is a terrible feeling, and having someone just there, for the simplest things, can be the strongest lifeline.”

“You sound like you know,” The agent says sadly. She shrugs with a sad smile, and goes to the kitchen to clean up.

“Hey Ember,” Vanderwood turns and goes after the blonde, watching a little too closely to the way her hips sway as she climbs the step into the raised kitchen area. “Is there anything you need? I can go get it real quick, I mean, I know you have watch duty tonight…” He watches her stroll up to the sink, and wash down the pans and cutting board, the knives and the plates that were left out.

He wanted to help her the way she was trying to help Seven. It was a strange feeling for him; it was not as if he’d never been with a woman before, or even that he had any emotional attachment to one. But Ember was different. Even if that annoying redhead couldn’t see it, he could.

Vanderwood stares at the pale skin of her stomach when her shirt rides up as she reaches to put the dried cups on the top shelf. He imagines how she’d look without that heavy sweater on, and if the flesh of her toned legs also resembled the same porcelain cream color.

“Need anything? Oh, maybe a laptop and a spare battery,” she hums as she puts away the dry dishes, and Vanderwood watches, leaning against the archway entrance.

“A laptop? Seven won’t give you one?”

“I haven’t asked,” She replies, opening the dish washer and bending over to fetch a fork that had gone rogue during the last load of washing.

His jaw drops and he turns around to cool himself down. “A uh, laptop? S-sure, yeah, anything in particular?”

“Just something that will run some heavier duty programing stuff, nothing too high tech,” She says, her voice simultaneously echoing and muffled inside the dishwasher. “I have some external hard drives to look at, and I am suspecting they will need more than a $200 cheapo-laptop.”

“Yeah, sure.” Vanderwood turns around in time to see her standing upright again. He is torn between wanting to see the curve of her waist and backside again, and thankful that she didn’t see the way she had caught him off guard. He’s usually so good about hiding his…physical indications of attraction.

“Hey, Vanderwood,” She says quietly.

He comes up to her, leaning against the counter as she stares into a sink full of bubbles. “What’s up?”

“Thanks for trying to help me,” She says with the sweetest smile she could muster. “I don’t know what I would do if you hadn’t been a friend for me,”

_A friend._

The words echo in his head like a thunder clap. It is strange to think, but really he had so few actual friends, that even if ‘friends’ were all they became, he was actually okay with it.

“No problem Ember; don’t mention it.” He smiles, patting her shoulder and heading to the computer room. “I’ll get you a laptop so you can work while you’re out there. Just make sure you pack enough to eat and drink. I don’t want to see you losing any more weight!”

~~

She spent the hours alone in the truck, staring into the screen of the laptop in front of her.

The blankets had been piled into the bed of the truck, and the pillow Seven had used when they were here together last time was nestled behind her back. Over her lap was the black sweatshirt that her hacker God was known for, and somehow, his scent on the collar was enough to bring her comfort while she sat alone in the dark.

She sifted through information on the first hard drive for the night. Most of it was useless paperwork and forms, scans and medical documentation for members of a special group that had been named “Group X”. For the most part, the information was uninteresting and irrelevant to anything she could have imagined useful.

However, the medical documents were another matter; the ones in particular that she found intriguing were psychiatric evaluations about this group. The first batch she read were the oldest, and mostly discussed the mental instability of these people, describing varying degrees of mental damage from people who were brain dead to people who seemed hardly capable of being considered sane. The range of disorders described were worded so terrifyingly cold and mechanically that she had a hard time wrapping her head around it.

There were images of some of the ‘patients’ from this Group X, and one face caught her attention. It was an early image, where the man in the shot was thrashing about, wearing a somewhat jerry rigged straight jacket, with a crazed look in his eyes.

Her stalker.

He was described to have been through several phases of ‘testing’ while the methods were being perfected. The report noted that each ‘trip’ this patient had undergone, that his mental capacity had grown more unstable.

This report was more than six months old.

She wondered how that translated in the real world; her stalker had been around for a while, but even she didn’t know exactly when he started following her. How long had that man been tested on?

The more she read, the more information she gathered, and the more she understood. Someone could be forced to go on these ‘trips’ and with each one, they grew less stable. Sometimes, these people didn’t even make the first trip successfully. Sometimes they were already little more than drooling bodies. Sometimes they were just…off.

She couldn’t help but think back to the people she met in the mansion; the other women that were there, the sort of distant look in their eyes, and the way some of the robed denizens looked at her like she was alien. It was making sense.

But something occurred to her then. MC didn’t act like this, she was outside of the elixir, she was outside of whatever these tests did; she wasn’t losing her mental faculty. Ember was thankful for that.

Furthermore, Ember was unable to return. She had been given the elixir at Magenta, and she woke up here. Did she have some sort of immunity? Was she somehow protected from the effects? Her first trip here was totally without the elixir to her knowledge, although she wouldn’t have put it past the stalker to have attempted or even possibly successfully administered the elixir to her before her fall into the river.

A shiver shakes her body as she wraps herself beneath the black sweatshirt. Her eyes hurt, her head ached, and she wanted to just be somewhere comfortable and safe.

As the sun peaked over the mountains, the thought came to mind that she was not sure such a place even existed anymore.

~~

It had been just short of a month since MC disappeared by the time Yoosung had called them. MC had returned the night before, and had been asked to go to the hospital right away. Although Ember had tried (twice) to sneak out to the hospital to visit her friend, she was caught and swiftly directed back.

It was almost a week later by the time Zen’s number popped up on her phone and she finally heard MC’s voice.

She didn’t let Saeyoung decline going out. He had hesitated at first, but eventually did go, using the excuse that Ember was “too worked up to drive safely, and the babies need to be taken out.”

Actually seeing MC made much of her stress simply disappear. There was a tension in her shoulders that she didn’t really know was there until she hugged her friend. That night, for the first time, she felt like she could truly be happy.

Then there was the bombshell; Saeran was alive. Saeran was in her old world.

And Ember is probably dead.

She had no way of testing this, and she had hoped that MC would look into it if she ever got herself out of the clinic. Ember really hated that MC was in the clinic to begin with. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around why she agreed to do it in the first place.

Having dinner with MC and Zen was the most fun she’d had in weeks. Ember forgot for a little while that she had the heavy responsibility of informing Saeyoung that his beloved brother was alive, but in a place that he couldn’t get to. Well, he couldn’t get there unless he tried the risky business of dying first.

Zen’s stories were truly amusing, and even broke her from her spiraling thoughts, making her laugh with such authenticity that she almost forgot about the troubles that existed beyond that tiny apartment.

She did notice though, that MC had this strange smile on her face from time to time; it reminded her of a child that knew a secret and wasn’t going to spill it. She would instinctively look at Saeyoung beside her, as if something in her gut said that it was due to him. He was ignoring her, which wasn’t a big surprise. A slight shadowing of jealousy clouds her thoughts briefly, seeing the redhead pay more attention to MC than to her.

Her friend was so over the moon with Zen, Ember had nothing to worry about; but the heart cannot be forced to love someone either.

That night went by far too quickly, and before long, she and Saeyoung had to leave. “Be careful, MC.” She whispered into her friend’s hair as she hugged her. “Please, don’t do anything stupid. I am trying to find out how this whole mess works, and maybe we can control it better.”

MC nods, her hug growing just a little tighter. Ember can almost feel the beginnings of a bump on her friend’s stomach; perhaps though, it was wishful thinking on her part. “I’m more worried for you, Ember. Don’t give up, and remember what I said.”

This time Ember nods and chokes back the tears that threaten to fall into her friend’s hair. Reluctantly she releases her friend, knowing she’ll be safe enough in Zen’s embrace.

“Alright, you kids behave now,” She calls teasingly as she closes the door and follows Saeyoung to the sports car they had driven over. Ember refused to say the word ‘goodbye’.

It was during that silent drive back to his house that the weight of everything came crashing down on her.

_What am I doing?_

She had asked herself this so many times over the past weeks. With the exception of that first night, he never joined her for meals, or hardly acknowledges her existence. She was desperately trying to figure out what was happening; the only other person that might know anything would barely look at her. Didn’t he know she was trying to fix this?

At first she had just been concerned with going home—of sending everyone back where they came from. Somewhere along the way, that became less important. At some point she decided she needed to figure out how to get everyone where they _needed_ to be.

For some reason, that didn’t seem to matter. Or maybe he just didn’t realize it? She remembers how long it took to care about anything after her family had passed away, and had assumed it was the same for him.

But it was obvious to her that he still blamed himself for his brother’s death, and as a result he somehow didn’t deserve her kindness or friendship, that he ‘couldn’t have what he doesn’t deserve’. He was full of jokes, empty laughs, hardworking, devout, unwaveringly kind, and quiet in the game. The real man however, tested the restraints of her knowledge of him. He was cold, distant, and emotionally empty when it came to reality.

But he was beautiful.

Hidden way behind the grief was that spunky man; Ember knew it was just hiding, because the pain the rest of his soul was feeling would quash any hope of happiness later.

Despite his demeanor, she wanted him, and that was selfish.

Her brain is in overdrive. She wished desperately for the easy nights with wine and cheap food, talking about the game and the hypothetical ‘what if’ scenarios.

_Saeran was actually alive. He just couldn’t come home._

How the hell was she going to go about telling him that? Should she? Of course she should. She couldn’t bring herself to withhold that sort of thing from the man she loved, no matter how he treated her. Ember couldn’t help but think MC had gone a bit crazy; Ember had no idea when would be a good time to break the news to Saeyoung.

After all, she couldn’t even bring herself to tell him he was dead. She couldn’t decide if this was actually worse or not.

She didn’t remember the scent of the new car, or the smoothness of the ride. She didn’t even remember the close proximity to Saeyoung the entire drive to and from Zen’s apartment. She didn’t remember arriving at the house, or following the redhead inside.

She was sitting on the desk in her room, staring into nothing. Everything in her mind seemed too loud. Her body just shut down.

“Hey, Ember, are you okay?”

Vanderwood had been watching her from her open bedroom door. He knew it was a gross invasion of privacy, but the door _was_ open. When her eyes finally met his, she could see a distinct look of worry crosses the agent’s face as he sees how pale she looks, and how unfocused her brilliantly sharp eyes are.

“Come on, let’s go walk out back for a minute,” Vanderwood takes her hand and pulls her from the chair. Saeyoung is in the doorway of his computer room, scowling darkly with his arms folded over his chest as he watches his older partner escort the dazed Ember out of the house.

The night air is the first thing Ember actually feels. It is so cold that she shivers hard enough to make her teeth chatter. She doesn’t realize what is happening until she feels Vanderwood wrap the leather jacket around her shoulders.

“Now, what’s going on? Do I need to kick the kid’s ass? Seriously, I wonder sometimes if he isn’t really dense,” Vanderwood says scowling.  They walk slowly, ending up under the old wisteria, half hidden beneath the dangling colored branches.

“I can’t do it.” Ember whispers.

“Do what?” Vanderwood asks, inching closer to her. Even in her state, the dimming lights in the garden paint her beautifully. He had done well leaving for a few days; it had given him time to cool his senses. But seeing her now, appearing so prone and defenseless…

“I can’t tell him…” she says to him. Even with the branches surrounding her, she can smell the cologne that Vanderwood is wearing. He is getting close. She looks up at him, her eyes focusing on the man that was consoling her. This wasn’t right.

“Did he hurt you?” she shakes her head and he reaches up to pluck a stow-away flower from her hair.

He inched closer and she backed up. It was a movement she didn’t think about. She didn’t want Vanderwood that close to her. Saeyoung is supposed to be comforting her!

“I am being selfish. Maybe…I am just weak.” She whispers to herself.

“You are not selfish.” Vanderwood states quietly. “Why would you think that?”

The dark rumbling tone of his voice, the sensation of his breath brushing across her face, and the sheer closeness of her friend sent unpleasant shockwaves through her. Ember’s body stiffens beneath his silent gaze. She is tired. Her heart hurts, and her brain feels like it is unable to focus.

“I don’t have the strength to do this. I think…I think I’m broken.” She smiles weakly. “I’m sorry.”

He sighs, leaning against the trunk of the tree, caging Ember beneath him. He picks up a lock of hair, twirling it between his fingers.  “Why do you forgive him all the time? What possesses you to treat him like he’s some sort of god?”

Her heart is thumping in her ears; this is wrong. Vanderwood is an attractive man, and it would be a lie to say she hadn’t considered him a potential partner, but she doesn’t love him, she doesn’t want him. Her heart screams in protest as she feels his fingers brush along her cheek as he replaces the hair behind her ear.

She wanted to swat his hand away, but she was tired, she was scared, and she was lonely. She stands there, staring at her hand as if it would somehow reveal the answers. “Let me go, Vanderwood.”

“Why? What is it about him? His looks? Brains? What is it that he has that someone like me doesn’t?”

A long, intense pause permeates the air with a suffocating silence; the rustle of the wisteria branches though the wind was the only sound that broke the quiet. Ember couldn’t look at Vanderwood. She couldn’t see much of anything other than the image of Saeyoung, happy and smiling like she had always remembered him from her game; she knew that man was still hiding among the pain, and someday she’ll get to meet him, and finally know _all_ of God Seven.

“…because I have always loved him,” she whispers finally, mostly to herself. It was after the words were out of her mouth that she realized what Vanderwood had said.

It was all getting to be too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Vandy.
> 
> Yay finally caught up! Onto some fun stuff next chapter. Thanks for following this story!
> 
> <3


	9. Chapter 9

“Leave her alone, Vanderwood.”

The sound of Saeyoung’s forceful voice behind Ember startled Vanderwood, releasing her from her confinement. Seeing Saeyoung, however, just made the older agent laugh. It was the sound a defeated friend makes.

“Hah, I see. Alright, I get it…” the agent sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Just don’t you dare hurt her, Seven. I am warning you.”  Saeyoung yanks Ember’s hand, pulling her to him and away from the older man.

Saeyoung doesn’t wait to give a reply, just pulls her behind him, through the house and into the last room she expected.

His bedroom.

“S-saeyo-“ She starts to say, before her words are totally stopped.

Without warning, his arms were around her in an overly-protective embrace. Ember is so stunned by the warmth of Saeyoung’s body on hers that she can’t even manage to close her eyes before her head rests against the flat plane of his chest. Her body is held so tightly that she wonders if she might just melt from the heat. His heart is beating so fast it sounds like a herd of horses running beneath her ear, and his chest is radiating a feverish heat.

“He didn’t do anything?”

The question was so quiet that had her ear not been to his chest, she may have not heard it. “No, he didn’t.”

His hold tightens for a moment. “You can’t let him touch you.”

She nods and he releases her, pulling out the chair at his desk. “Stay here tonight,” he says, turning on the laptop on the desk. “I don’t trust him right now.”

“I can keep myself safe, Saeyoung,” Ember answers weakly. Her heart is beating a thousand miles an hour just from one embrace. She is afraid of what would happen if…

“Yeah, I saw that.”

Saeyoung smirks a little; the sight starts her heart beating even faster. “Thanks.”

He waves her toward the bed, turning back to his computer, and beginning his ‘work’. Ember lies down, still in her day clothes, and watches Saeyoung look through various web pages and searches. She doesn’t know what he’s looking for, and she is afraid to ask.

The pillows smell sweet, herbal, but with a mysteriously distinct masculine base. It is intoxicating, and she immediately calms down. Strange how a simple thing can solidify frayed nerves. Her mind started to sort the memories from the day in an attempt to make it easier to bring Saeyoung to life.

 _“It wasn’t easy.”_ MC had said during their talk. _“I just… I just tried my best to give you some normality and be there for you when you needed me…”_

_Give him a sense of normality…_

A soft smile starts to form on her lips as bright ideas start to fill her slumber.

~~

“Hi Zen, how’s it going?” Ember asks over the phone. She had escaped to the rear of the garden to avoid anyone hearing her conversation. She paces nervously, watching her surroundings and talking as quietly as possible. She had found the only place in the house that had the weakest surveillance, where she could have a conversation without it being heard. Unfortunately, it was half under the wisteria tree, with the wind blowing enough to make the branches move. It wouldn’t be hard to filter out the white noise and still hear her conversation, but she hoped Saeyoung wouldn’t breach her privacy that way. After all, she outright told him who he was calling, and he would easily be able to verify that.

“Ember? Hey, what’s going on?” Zen sounded a little monotone, which was abnormal for him. He sounded empty, emotionless, and distracted. Not that it surprised her. It had been a couple weeks since MC had returned to their dimension, and she could understand that Zen was feeling the distance. 

“I was wondering if MC had left any dresses there; something not fancy.” Ember fidgets with the hem of her t-shirt, and kicking a pine cone around with her toes.

“Uh, yeah, a few. She hasn’t worn some of them…why?” Zen’s voice immediately perks up. Oh no, she has caught his interest.

“Well she won’t be fitting them soon, and I need clothes,” Ember tries to excuse the idea, her face heating with the unavoidable blush of awkward embarrassment.

“But…why dresses? Pants, t-shirts, even the occasional pair of shorts but something with a skirt? Are you…OH MY GOD! ARE YOU GOING ON A DATE?!”

She sighs, knowing that this was the inevitable conclusion he would make. She had hoped of course that he wouldn’t figure it out. “I-it isn’t—“

“Okay, let me tell you, I know the BEST spots for dates; write this down…” Zen chatters away excitedly, and Ember laughs in spite of herself, and does take down a few notes. Almost half an hour later, he calms down after telling her about a particularly great secluded spot to go for a picnic. “Seriously, when did he ask you?”

“Uh, he didn’t,” She stutters. “I am going to drag him out of the house for a bit. It isn’t a date, just a day out.”

“In a dress,” Zen adds.

“In a dress.”

“You don’t wear dresses.” Zen states this in such a way that she can just FEEL the smirk he’s giving her through the phone. Ember starts to regret asking.

“It isn’t as if I don’t wear them on purpose,” Ember mumbles. “I just don’t tend to buy them.”

“Except for special occasions, right?”

Zen is laughing with each word and Ember feels like he is picking on her just a little. “Yeah, I guess. Did MC tell you that?”

“Yup! Hah, ah you made me feel better, thanks Ember.” Zen sighs, and Ember can hear the sound of hangers sliding. “Oh, I bet you’d look good in this one, yeah, come on over later and I’ll get them for you. I will put them somewhere to help get the wrinkles out.”

“Thanks Zen,” Ember answers, “and please…don’t tell Seven.”

“My lips are sealed. I wish MC was here, she’d get such a kick out of this,” the actor says sadly.

“I don’t doubt it. She’s here in spirit Zen, don’t worry; she’ll be back before you know it,” Ember straightens out, heading toward the house. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

~~

The sun was bright, and there was an unusual bounce to Ember’s step as she trotted from her truck parked on the side of the road. Her hands fidgeted with the key ring, and a song passed through her lips; today, nothing could go wrong.

As long as Zen doesn’t ask too many questions, then everything will work out fine. Unfortunately Ember is no actress, and Zen has a way of just getting to the point when it comes to romance. No matter how many times she tried to reason with herself about the day she had planned for Saeyoung, she couldn’t deny that it was, in a lot of ways just like a date. The thought immediately started a blush in her cheeks, which of course was just as Zen opened the door to his apartment.

“Hey Ember! Look at you, blushing already? You can’t be that happy to see me, although I understand your reaction.” Ember laughs, punching the actor playfully on the arm as he ushers her inside.

“Thanks for this Zen, I appreciate it.”

“Well, it isn’t as if I would wear her clothes,” he teases. “I will go grab them, so just wait here for a minute.”

She nods and he makes his way to the rear of the apartment, where she knows his bedroom and bathroom are. Her eyes wander around the apartment, remembering how much she enjoyed being here last time; laughing around the table, with MC smiling at her. Maybe it was the memory that drew her attention to the table before her. It was covered in papers and a bright green folder, open flat against the gray tabletop. Maybe there was something of MC still lingering in that apartment that drew her attention to the all too familiar symbol that lined the top of each page that covered the table.

“What the hell…?” She mutters out loud as her eyes go wide.

Her fingers lift the page on the top, with notes in ink scrawled along the margins. The handwriting was unmistakably Zen’s, and the notes were referencing the items on the page.

Scattered among the pages of a new script, was the missing elixir recipe, and notes on the distillation process. How Zen got them is beyond her; honestly, she doesn’t really care how he got them, or why he has them. The notes were clear, Zen was trying to decipher what the ingredients were, had a few links of prices and a note of where to find the tools to mix the concoction. There was no mistaking that Zen was trying to do something very, very stupid.

“So I have—“ Zen starts, holding up an armful of clothes.

“What the hell is this?!” Ember screams. Anger she didn’t even realize she could possess grapples her normally calm demeanor, and she waves the paper wildly in the air. “Are you really so dense? What the fuck Zen!?”

Zen visibly pales, before blushing at her outburst. Maybe MC was the only one who had seen her genuinely mad. Really, she doesn’t even care if she surprises her friend. This time, he’ll have to answer to her.

“Listen…” He starts, putting the dresses over the back of a chair and trying to take the paper from her.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?!  I know she doesn’t she doesn’t want you to risk your life!” Ember picks up all of the papers on the table, unable to care what order they are in, and shoves them into the folder. “She has lost her freedom to live a normal life, she has lost the ability to stay by her lovers side, she’s lost the ability to enjoy being pregnant with your child, and now she’s lost her mental freedom; how dare you try to take away the man she loves too!?”

His eyes cast down, and she can’t bring herself to stop. “Do you think it would work? Really? Do you honestly believe that it is as simple as just drinking a cocktail of narcotics? No! And if it was, do you think I’d be here? Do you think she wouldn’t be? Think about it!”

“I can’t go on without her, Ember.”

“Well tough shit Zen, you’re going to have to learn.” Ember grumbles, shoving the whole folder under her arm. “I won’t let you steal away what little she has left to be happy, just because it is hard.”

His eyes water and she can see the tears falling down his perfectly sculpted cheeks. She may be one of the only women to have ever made him cry, and really it wasn’t becoming of him. “But…”

“No Zen,” Ember sounds threatening. “I won’t allow it. MC is too important, and I think if there is anyone ever that would realize that, it should be you.”

She forces her anger to cool to a simmer and tries to listen to his reasoning. She is only mildly surprised when Zen tells her that he hadn’t even truly thought it was possible until V stopped by with the folder. Ember was furious that he hadn’t even tried to make contact with her after leaving her at Magenta, but she was angrier for basically handing over the ultimate weapon to Zen. He said that V wanted him to hold onto it while he was ‘out of town’ for a while.

Zen was confused by V’s sudden arrival and even more so by the subsequent rush to leave. He had left little to no explanation, and even with Zen’s prodding, could get no solid answers from his friend. V was always known for keeping secrets, the RFA was well aware of that, but even Zen knew something was strange when V came to him with important information, rather than Seven. According to Zen, it was this strange behavior that made him look at the folder in the first place.

It was something Ember would have expected V to do; V is no fool, and knows full well that the only person he could trust with information would never speak to him again. Saeyoung will never trust anything V says or does, and likely, if MC was still around, she wouldn’t either.

She could have understood leaving the folder with Jumin, but why pick Zen? It makes sense; V probably thought Zen wouldn’t know what it was, or even care to look. Perhaps V really wanted to keep it away from Saeyoung, in the event that he might do the same thing his brother had.

Stupid V, not realizing that love can make a man consider really, really short-sided and selfish things. Maybe he just was so blind to the effects of love, after Rika died.

If Ember hadn’t seen what the results V's stupidity had brought, she might have felt pity for the rogue artist. However, nursing Saeyoung back to health, stumbling on Saeran’s dead body, being chased and stalked by a crazed cultist, and most importantly, having to show Saeyoung the light again, has whittled away what pity she could have had for V.

She explains that she is working on figuring out the whole process so perhaps she could control the visits to some extent. She did her best to explain how Zen doing attempting to elixir himself into the other world would have destroyed any reason to continue working on it. Ember tries her best to explain what she had found about the testing of the elixir, the results of her findings from the case files on all of the external hard drives she had found at Magenta. She reasoned that since Saeran was dead in this world, and that he went to the same general location as MC, means it couldn’t have just been the elixir. After all, as far as she knew, Ember was able to cross over and never touched the stuff until she had been drugged at Magenta. However, it also meant that there was a distinct chance that given the link to this dimension, that the only way to fully cross over was to die entirely.

“You are a good friend, Ember. I am glad she has you.” Zen smiles weakly, handing her the bundle of clothes.

“That is where you are wrong again, Zen.” She sighs, taking the clothes while still keeping the folder tightly tucked in her armpit. “Because I am pretty certain I already died so she actually doesn’t have me anymore. It is the only explanation as to how I haven’t gone back even once. MC and I talked about it when she was here, and I have no way of knowing for sure, honestly. She probably won’t be able to find out anytime soon, either. But that is the point I am trying to make.”

“You’re dead? I mean, I guess that…sort of makes sense. I mean, it really doesn’t, but…” His eyes widen for a moment before the pieces seem to click into place “Yeah, yeah you’re right.”

“Of course I am right,” Ember says, her anger ebbing just a little. “MC should have told you that too, but I bet I don’t come up in conversation much.”

He scratches his head, his eyes red and a little puffy. “No, I guess not.”

“See? You are the reason she can keep doing this. You need to be here for her; no one else can do that. She is running out of people who are able to walk beside her, protect her, and give her a reason to continue. Even if you are here and she never comes back, she has to know you are alive and living; if she loses that, she’ll lose everything,” Ember forces a weak smile. “You need to be able to raise that beautiful baby girl when it gets here.”

His eyes sparkle a little at the sentence. “You think it will be a girl too?”

“I do, and I think she’ll have your looks, but MC’s eyes,” Ember declares, shifting the clothes in her arms. “So don’t mess it up. I will do what it takes to make sure she is happy on this side, no matter what.”

“No matter what? What about Seven?” Zen asks, picking up a bag that had some accessories and shoes to match the clothes she was holding.

“What about him?”

He smirks. “You know what I mean.”

“He doesn’t want me, Zen.” She answers rather flatly. “He doesn’t even say my name. Even if he did, I wouldn’t want to be with him if he couldn’t accept that MC is the closest thing to family I have, and understand why I would go to that extent.” She shifts uncomfortably moment before pouting. “Hey! Don’t change the subject! My one sided affection for Seven has nothing to do with you trying to kill yourself with this poisonous concoction! Promise me that you won’t try this again. I don’t have the mental strength to stop both of you,” Ember sighs as her head starts to throb.  Zen looks at her, and for a moment she thinks he will lie to her. “Promise, Hyun.”

He nods, sighing heavy and his shoulders slumping a little bit. “Alright, I promise. But…”

“Zen, stop being selfish. For once, just think about what she wants. _She_ is the one that is going through the worst of it just to be with you. _She_ is literally bending her reality, diving into something that no one alive would really believe was possible, just for _you_. Give her this.” Ember takes the clothes and heads to the door, feeling relatively confident that Zen couldn’t have remembered the complex names on the list.

“Ember,” Zen says, giving her a friendly hug. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, sure.” She mutters as she heads back outside. “Should I be calling you every couple hours now? I’ll do it, so don’t tempt me.”

He laughs, and walks beside her to the parked truck. “Seeing how you watched over Luciel, I don’t doubt that you would! No, I get the idea. You’re right; I shouldn’t be so selfish.”

She piles the clothes on the front seat, and Zen adds the bag of extras. “Thanks for the clothes--well, I guess thanks for _her_ clothes.”

“Well, it is like you said, it isn’t as if she’ll be able to wear them soon. And Luciel is the only one of us that wears women’s clothes. But I could sell them…Maybe I should ask for payment.” He smirks, and a mischievous grin splays across his face. “I want pictures, for MC. You know she’d kill me if I didn’t show her proof of your date.”

“Oh hell no. I’d never hear the end of it.”

He laughs, at her immediate denial. “Oh come on! Those outfits were expensive! You’ve gotta give me something!”

“My eternal gratitude?” Ember questions, circling to the driver’s side and opening the door.

“Come on! Just one?”

“No, Zen. It’s not like this is my first date, or prom, or something like that. I’m just going to take a friend out to distract him,” Ember reiterates as she climbs in and turns on the engine. “Thanks again, and I will be calling.”

He laughs, waving her off with a nonchalant flick of his hand. That silly smile was still plastered on his face, even after she had lost sight of him as she drove the long way home.

~~

The house is quiet when she returns; the lights are out except the blue glow of computer screens from the computer lab. The house is clean, so Vanderwood must have stopped by, but his jacket is nowhere to be seen.

After hanging up the borrowed clothes in her closet, she made a light meal, and delivering it to Saeyoung, making sure he is distracted in his lab. Only then, when she is sure her room is secure, does she finally take out the papers, spreading them across her bed.

There are multiple copies of the recipe, each one slightly adjusted with notes attached; more of ingredient A, less of substance B, heat longer in step 3, let cool 3 times longer in step 6… There are distinct markings that looks like Saeran’s handwriting, and it is obvious that he was the one making adjustments to the dosing.

What was curious to her was the handwriting that noted the changes to the ingredients and processes to distill the elixir. This handwriting was entirely different to Saeran’s; where Saeran’s writing was rough and jagged, this writing was graceful and smooth. If there was such a thing as gendering handwriting, she would have said this was a woman’s handwriting. Beyond that analysis however, she had no clues as to who else modified the elixir during its short, destructive lifespan.

She read and reread the pages of the file, lining up the steps from the first concoction to the last, noting several missing pages, and discovering that the last rendition was several months before Ember had arrived in this world. Where were the missing pages? Were there newer versions of this recipe still at large? Her knowledge of medicine was limited, and she was afraid of looking up the names on a laptop that Saeyoung would likely hack into and monitor.

The last thing she wanted was for Saeyoung to get ahold of these recipes; he was more than capable to find the information needed to modify them and create more versions. Suddenly, she regretted bringing the file into the house.

Her body moves of its own accord, her mind already deciding that her selfish desire to fix the dimension jump was not as important as keeping these recipes away from Saeyoung and Zen. In ten minutes, a small fire was burning in the pit in the garden. It hadn’t been used since she arrived, but she could think of no other way to destroy the paperwork. Ember tosses in the pages, one at a time, watching them curl and flare up as the fire claims them.

She’ll have to come up with some other way to control travel, or at least make sure MC ends up where she wants to be. Ember’s stomach twists as she watches the last hope to figure out the reason the elixir works, disappear into ash and smoke.  “I’m sorry, MC. I guess I am the selfish one this time. I hope you understand that I just can’t risk it…” she whispers as the last pages and the green folder go up in brilliant colored flames.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is a double post sort of week! I got so excited writing this that it ended up being way too long for a single chapter, so I split it, and decided I just had to post them both.  
> Come hang out with us on Val's Discord server, chat about the characters, story, game, whatever! We love talking to the readers about their impressions and interpretations of the stories. https://discord.gg/gfRQvpw
> 
> Again, thanks to everyone who is still reading this. <3

The sun is shining brightly through the windows of the house, and the sweet scent of blooming flowers fills her room. Today was the decided day to surprise Saeyoung with her planned outing. In truth, she needed the break too, and hoped that for a while, she could forget just how much she has on her shoulders.

Ember ignores the laptop and the box of hard drives that sit on the desk in the room, she ignores the nagging worry about taking time from studying the collected computer programs, and she ignores the sense of impending dread if anything looks out of place. No, today she is just Ember, and she has a plan.

“Saeyoung!” Ember calls from her bedroom door. “Get dressed! You’re going out!”

She closes her door, and returns to the three outfits lying on her bed. It had taken her the better part of an hour to just decide on the outfit for the day. Finally she went for the most comfortable looking one; a simple A-line skirt in a dark blue pattern, and a matching button up, sleeveless style shirt, and a pair of dark strappy sandals. With slightly shaking hands, she managed to straighten her hair and add a light amount of makeup. In a matter of minutes, she was ready.

Ember could hardly recognize herself in the reflection of the mirror as she passed; she looked strangely feminine, dainty, and innocent. The skirt was too short for Ember’s taste, hitting above the fingertips. She tugs at the skirt in a desperate attempt to pull another inch or two of length out of it.

“Where are we going, exactly?” Saeyoung calls, as she rushes to the living room, forgetting her reflection and grabbing her purse. His back is to her, his eyes cast down on a smart phone he appeared to be setting up to replace his destroyed phone. Although, Ember supposed it was probably just one of his backup phones, and didn’t need any additional set up.

“Out, like I said,” She answers simply, taking her phone from her bag and punching in the address to the first location for the day.

The sound of her voice makes him look up from his phone. At first, his face is expressionless, but in a moment, upon seeing her dressed up, his cheeks flush and he turns to his jacket. He plucks the keys from the pocket, tossing them in the air and catching them playfully. “I’ll drive.”

“Only if you follow my directions,” Ember answers.

“As you wish,” He sighs and leads the way to the garage. “Which one will it be today?”

“Hmm, you can pick. Something comfortable,” Ember is punching in the next locations into her phone.

Twenty minutes later, the duo pulls into the parking lot of the local Zoo. Saeyoung eyes Ember quizzically as she hops out of the car with a childlike grin on her face. He follows, immediately wondering if he should have dressed better than the worn-in jeans and tee shirt he had pulled on.

His eyes linger just a little bit too long on the hem of her skirt. As she moves, sometimes, for just a split second, that skirt floats up, especially as she laughs and walks too fast. The thought of seeing the pale skin of her thighs beneath that skirt makes him pause, despite being so good at hiding his thoughts normally.

“What has this girl done to me?” He whispers to himself as she folds her arms and pouts at him.

“Come on! It’s gonna start soon!” Ember calls as she walks swiftly through the gate.

They pass through the various displays, the reptile room (where Ember basically ran through, avoiding the snake section entirely), the monkey enclosure, the butterfly house, and finally arrived at the Large Cat exhibit. “Oh good, we made it!”

“I see that,” Saeyoung answers, watching as Ember fidgets excitedly with the strap of her purse. “What are we here for?”

“Longcat is here today, silly. It’s the Feline Expo Exhibit! Longcat is the spokes-cat!” She grabs his wrist and drags him to the already significant line to the arena.

Ember gets the odd itch to turn around and look at the people forming the line around her. Several couples behind her, she notices a young man, standing awkwardly by himself. His sweatshirt is pulled up, a baseball cap covering a mop of blonde hair, and some dark sunglasses covering his face, despite being in the shade and entering a covered arena.

“He followed us in,” Saeyoung says quietly. “Zen was with him, but I think the cat house scared him off.”

She watches as the poorly disguised Yoosung scratches his face idly, to give himself some cover, and shifting behind the family in front of him. “Seriously?”

Saeyoung laughs a little, and shrugs. “Did you tell them we were on a date or something? I haven’t seen them this interested in me since the maid costume.”

“N-no! I said…I said I was planning an outing to get you fresh air…that’s all.” Ember blushes, and diverts her attention to the pamphlet in her hands.

“Well, I am pretty sure Zen was trying to get a picture of us, if you care at all.”

“Seriously?! I told him no!” She sighs, stamping her foot in frustration. She just wanted to have a relaxing day out, and they were seriously ruining it.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

She watches as he faces forward, a small grin curling the corner of his lips up. She can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he plots and schemes.

They walk through the cat exhibit, listening to the demo on toys and new cat hotels (noting several that sound like something Jumin would have created), and making sure to duck out of the way whenever they felt that Yoosung was close to getting a picture.

“We need to get a picture!” Ember chimes in as they approach the table selling merchandise for the famous felines. “Look! We can even hold them!”

Saeyoung laughs at her enthusiasm, and watches as she signs up to have the pictures taken. When it is their turn, he stands back, causing Ember to frown. “Come on. It’s our turn.”

“I don’t know about having my picture taken,” He says with an apologetic smile. “Go ahead; I’ll take a couple too.”

“I don’t want to if you’re not in it, Saeyoung.” She says, looking down at the props littering the photo area “It is supposed to be for you…”

The photographer calls her name and she tries again to pull him to the staging area. Reluctantly she drops his sleeve and makes her way to the waiting cats

He watches her for a minute before sighing; she isn’t smiling like she was when he was with her. He didn’t want to have more evidence of his existence here, but for her…

In the end, the pictures with Longcat are actually quite cute. Her smile is so bright, and the way the skirt accents her legs draws his attention to her figure in the picture. Sure, he is there, smiling like an idiot with the cats in his arms. But Ember looks like an angel. It wasn’t the lighting that makes her look so bright, nor is it the way she is so gentle with the animals that makes her so angelic. It was something about the look in her eyes with one picture in particular; she was looking at him.

The expression she wore was one he saw often, but never had he seen it directed at him. It reminded him of the way MC looks at Zen; the thought makes him watch Ember as she finishes paying for the merchandise and trots happily back to him.

When had he gone from simply allowing her presence to needing it? When had it become so necessary for her to be with him in order for his smile to return? When had his years of training failed him, and he could no longer resist the charms of a woman who did nothing whatsoever to captivate him? She was so natural, so real, and yet that fact seemed so abnormal to him.

The thought made him focus again on the pictures in his hands to distract his mind just a little from the thoughts he knew would show up next.

They got the ‘signature’ of Longcat and a couple other celebrity felines before making their way out of the zoo. Yoosung was never far behind, always looking away, trying to hide his face, or ducking behind something.

“He sure is persistent. I’ll give him that.” Ember sighs in defeat as they leave the zoo.

“Okay, so where to next, boss?” Saeyoung chirps as they climb into the car. Although they walked side by side, Saeyoung kept his distance. Ember was careful not to cross any imaginary boundaries that he may have set, and kept her hands occupied in her lap, or laced around the strap of her purse while walking.

She tells Saeyoung the address to a café in town that specialized in rare pastries, and they took off. Saeyoung did idle a little bit while he punched in the address, and she could only imagine it was intentional. Maybe he wanted their paparazzi to catch up to them?

They talked a bit in the car, until they pulled up to the café. She couldn’t help but whine when they walked up to the door and read the hand written sign posted on the small glass window of the door. To her dismay, the restaurant was closed.

“I have an idea,” Saeyoung says and grabs her hand without letting her answer.

She could hear the rushed, power-walk pace of footsteps behind her. Saeyoung was pulling her so fast she could hardly keep up, but not enough to start running down the sidewalk. They arrive at a small city park, with a handful of food carts lined up along the curb. Saeyoung marches up to one and orders without even asking Ember what she wanted.

“Hey! This is supposed to be my treat!” Ember exclaims as Saeyoung returns to hand her a small paper wrapped parcel. “What is it?”

He smiles and plops down on the bench beside her. “Fish shaped buns.”

She opens the package and sees one fish shaped bread, with traces of red filling spilling from the tip of the top fin. Ember couldn’t help but giggle when she watches Saeyoung take a big bite out of the stomach area, and get filling all over his hands.

The food item is larger than she expected, and she can’t help but pick it up and make it swim around in the air, making  alarmed burbling noises as it ‘swims’ by Saeyoung, and the destroyed remains of fish bun. When she finally did take a bite, she did genuinely enjoy it, although it was a bit bready for her

“You have some on your face,” Saeyoung says as Ember licks the last of the treat from her fingers. “Did you like it?”

She nods with a sweet smile. He reaches his hand up, and wipes away the glob of filling from her lower lip, before sucking the filling off his finger as if it was nothing.

Ember’s eyes go wide and her cheeks immediately turn hot. She almost misses the mischievous glint in Saeyoung’s eyes as he cleans the filling from his finger, while looking directly at Ember’s blushing face. It seems that only then did she remember they had an audience, and there is no doubt that at least ONE of them managed to get a picture of that encounter. 

“S-saeyoung!” She chokes out, wiping her face with the back of her hand, in an attempt to wipe away the embarrassment.

“Hmm?” He grins, and the sight makes her stomach do summersaults.

His cheeks were slightly pink, but the smile he gave her was so genuine that for a moment she forgot about everything else that had happened. For that moment, she saw the real God Seven.

It was difficult to focus on the next adventure when they arrived; the local natural-science museum. The place is packed with school children in uniforms, stressed out teachers, and over-loaded curators. The idea had been to visit a soon-to-end space exploration exhibit, but it seemed as if that day was the day every elementary school had chosen to visit as well.

Instead of wandering about the lumps of moon rocks, dancing with life-sized alien mannequins, and playing in the space shuttle cockpit replica, they went through the nearly vacated “Early Earth” exhibit. Instead of space suits, they found dioramas of giant wild beasts and the early humanoids, focalized reptiles, and ancient weapons.

More than once they hid among the frozen, lifeless forms of the early humans, and resisted giggling as Zen walked by, his collar popped up and sun glasses on, trying to look like ‘just another spectator’.

More than once, Yoosung would split off from Zen, and end up in the group of people in front of them, turning around to try and catch a glimpse of Seven on his date, while Zen shot pictures through the glass cases and around corners.

Ember wondered if Saeyoung was having fun posing just long enough to make them try to take that ‘perfect picture’ before moving. He would absently wrap an arm around her shoulders to point something out to her, and quickly remove them even before she looked that way. Another time, he grabbed her hand and walked with it tightly gripped in his, claiming that it was busy enough he didn’t want her getting lost, only to drop it without warning moments later.

A part of her really wished that maybe he really did want to touch her, and was just making excuses. _“No, he is probably just saying those things because they could hear us…”_ She thought to herself, as she watched Saeyoung make faces at her though the reflection of the ancient ocean display.

By the time they had walked around the museum, carefully ducking behind displays and hiding in hallways as Zen and Yoosung passed by, it was coming up on sunset. They strolled out of the museum, laughing about the way one of the ape figures looked like it was mid-poop, and climbed into the car.

“Anything else?” Saeyoung asks after starting the engine and making sure Ember’s seat belt was on.  

“No, I had thought about finding something for dinner, but I’m not sure what,” Ember answers, adjusting the chest belt so it didn’t cut into her neck. She noted that the belt fit strangely and seemed to sink between her breasts too much. She wondered if it made them look different, as she thought the band drew way too much attention to her chest.

He looks thoughtfully out into the parking lot before shifting into reverse. A devilish grin is plastered on his face and he leans over, far too close to Ember’s face. She tries her best not to look surprised, or to back away from the proximity of his lips to hers, but she knows full well that she’s failed as soon as that troublemaker smile peeks, making his eyes squint happily.

“Do you trust me?”

She blinks a few times before she nods, “Yes.”

The car races from the lot at ridiculously high speeds. They zip down city streets as if the whole of the city was his private raceway, or that he was earning points like in an arcade game. Really, he wasn’t going too fast, as she could spy Zen in the driver’s seat of the sedan behind them. For how busy the roads were, Ember felt like she was living in a racing game.

Saeyoung looked like he had more energy now than he had the entire time Ember had known him. He smiled naturally, without hesitation or restraint, and laughed at Zen’s driving, talking about himself as God Seven and boasting his own driving skill. He cracked jokes about how scared Yoosung’s face looked, and he even talked about the upgrades he made to his navigation system as a hobby, in order to find the fastest way to get to stores carrying the freshest supplies of Honey Buddha chips.

It was almost like he was alive for the first time.

After some time, they arrived at another park somewhere outside of the city proper. Saeyoung stops at another food cart, and purchases a bottle of water and a small bowl of ice cream to split. They walk a ways up the winding paths following the narrow road up to a lookout point.

The site was one that Ember recognized as soon as they came upon it. It had been featured in the game, and she could recognize the path, the railing looking out over the city below, the forest behind them…

“Isn’t this Zen’s spot?” Ember asks finally. They lean on the railing and watch the last bits of sun fade behind the mountains, and the sky turn to vibrant purples and pink, fading into dark navy blue.

“He doesn’t own it, but yeah, he likes it a lot.” Saeyoung answers, before eating a large spoonful of vanilla ice cream. He hands her the bowl, and turns around to face the forest path behind her. “I know this is probably the most entertainment you’ve gotten in years, but I think this is getting a little tiring.”

At Saeyoung’s voice a sheepish looking Yoosung falls out of the pushes about thirty feet away from Ember. She had forgotten they were following them, somehow; maybe she had simply gotten used to the sensation of being followed. Zen appears from behind another tree, phone in hand, and obviously tired.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” Saeyoung says, and walks confidently up to Zen. They speak quietly, and even though the wind is nearly nonexistent, and the park is almost abandoned, Ember can’t hear what they say. Whatever he says makes Zen smile excitedly and help Yoosung up off the forest floor, before they head down the path, and toward their parked car below.

“What did you tell them?”

Saeyoung unzips his sweatshirt, and puts it gently over Ember’s shoulders, before snatching the bowl of ice cream from her frozen fingers. “I told them I’d give them pictures later if they’d leave the rest of the night.”

“That doesn’t sound like a plan to me,” Ember sighs. She tugs the sweatshirt close, and the distinct scent of his body fills her nose. She hadn’t noticed she was cold, but now, surrounded in his warmth, she feels the muscles relax in her shoulders.

“I never said they’d be real pictures.”

They laugh a little before a simple silence prevails between each spoonful of ice cream, as the multicolored sky fades to night, and the stars come out. Ember can feel how close Saeyoung is, but can’t help but wish he would actually touch her. She wished for his warmth, for some sign to justify her aching heart.

“Is it different?”

His voice breaks her thought as he looks up into the bright crescent moon. He doesn’t look away, just stares as if looking for the answers in the constellations above.

“Is what different?” Ember asks, following his eyes to the first stars that came into the night sky.

“This world, compared to yours. Is it different?”

“A little, I suppose,” She answers cautiously.

“How?”

“It is hard to explain,” She says, pulling the jacket tighter around her. “I have…gotten used to it here.”

“Do you miss it?”

His voice is hardly a rough whisper when he asks this. Ember can hear the pain in his tone, and she wonders for a moment what it is he thinks he did.

“Honestly? No. I don’t.”

The answer sounded shocking coming out of her mouth, even to Ember. She hadn’t really thought about her life before coming here in such a way. The answer seemed so simple as she spoke the words, and it just seemed right.

“You didn’t leave anyone behind? You must have friends, family…boyfriend…” Saeyoung trails off as his eyes slowly focus down to hers. Her gaze follows his eyes, and a soft smile crosses her face.

“Other than MC, I was alone.”

Her answer had no sorrow or malice in it, nor did the memory of her family taint the words with sadness or pain. It was simply the facts, and since Saeyoung was finally asking sincere questions, she wanted to answer them without hesitation.

“I don’t believe that,” Saeyoung says, inching closer to her. Her skin was glowing in the moonlight, and even at the distance between them, he could see the reflection of the stars in the dark irises Ember’s  eyes. The dots of light made it appear as if the whole universe was trapped inside her, and he could get lost among the stars just by looking at them.

“I was never a…social creature. And my family is gone,” she says, feeling him getting closer more than seeing him. His body is so warm, or perhaps she is just colder than usual due to the outfit she wore. “Remember I told you about the camping trip with MC? When dad decided to cancel the trip, he had been drinking. Mom couldn’t drive either, so my brother drove. He was still mad at everyone, and got in a fight with dad, who was trying to sleep in the back seat.”

Saeyoung waits and listens patiently as Ember sighs, a sense of sadness dampening her divine features. “And?”

“My brother looked away from the road, and they collided head on with a big-rig. The worst part is that the police weren’t sure he didn’t do it on purpose.” She finished. His eyes widened a moment as he finally understood her motivations up that that time. The shame he felt before only intensified.

“I’m sorry,” He answers. “I…I didn’t know.”

“Don’t be sorry; I wouldn’t expect you to know. But this is terrible date conversation. I don’t want to ruin the night.”

He smiles, and without another word wraps his arms around her shoulders in a warm embrace; her back is against his chest, and she is temporarily thankful for that. He won’t be able to see her blush again.

“Ember, you couldn’t ruin today if you tried.”

They stood in silence, his arms wrapped around her shoulders, and his chin resting ever so slightly on the top of her head. Minutes passed, and the city slowly lit up like the Milky Way. Ember couldn’t be happier.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers quietly as his arms finally fall from her shoulders.

She turns around, looking into the intense amber irises that she had grown to love so much. Some new emotion clouded them now, and he turned away from her, hiding his face in the shadows of night.

“What about?” She asks, taking a light grip on his sleeve. “Saeyoung, talk to me.”

“For everything. For treating you so badly, for taking all of your time and energy, for getting jealous…and…” He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Saeyoung…” She pulls his arm, making him face her, before wrapping her arms around his torso and burying her face in his chest.

“…I’m sorry for forcing you here…”

She can feel the muscles of her face contort in shock against his chest. His body is tense, and she can hear the quiver of his voice rumble through his body. For a moment she doesn’t know what to do or what to say.

“I should be thanking you for that,” Ember says quietly, releasing her hug a little so she could look up into the face of her Hacker God. “You saved my life that day, Saeyoung.”

She stands on her toes, catching Saeyoung by surprise as she kisses him. She can feel the sudden intake of air against her lips, and the involuntary shudder of his body against hers. Where had the sudden boldness come from? Why would shy Ember try such a move? To be honest, she couldn’t answer that, but in that moment, a kiss was what was needed.

The kiss feels like it is over in a moment, but lasts forever. _“I would be happy if this was all I had…”_ Ember thinks as she pulls away from Saeyoung, and releases her hold on him. His eyes were dark, and at some point his body had lost all tension.

“Why…?” he asks as his fingers touch his lips. “Why are you doing this for me?”

Ember smiles and a sob threatens to choke her words. “You don’t really need me to answer that.” She removes the sweatshirt, handing it to Saeyoung. “It’s getting late, we should head back soon.”

As soon as he takes the sweatshirt, she starts heading to the path down toward the car. Her feet only carry her a few steps before a strong grip stops her. In one motion, she is spun around, and needy lips claim hers. One hand wraps itself around her waist, the other tangles into her hair, locking her head in place.

She is so shocked she doesn’t register what is happening at first, until her body takes over.  A rush of helplessness mixed with the surging tide of warmth unexpectedly leaves her soft and moldable in his arms. The worries and stress of life was blurred as warm tears start to trickle from the corners of her eyes, drowning all worries into nothingness.

He kissed her softly at first, as if he might break her apart with the touch. His lips gradually deepened the kiss, delving into her as if she was the first breath of fresh air. The Intensity of it made her cling to him as if he was the only solid ground in the world. A pleasured sigh escapes her lips, leaving an opening for his insistent mouth to part her shaking lips, sending electric shivers along every nerve in her body. Ember had never known she was capable of feeling such sensations, and before she could register the pure joy she was experiencing, she realized she was kissing him back.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~*~*~* NSFW *~*~*~
> 
> It's about damn time, right? Okay folks, here goes awkward 'not a date' follow up. 
> 
> It is a longer chapter, but trust me, it is worth it.

By the time their lips part, time itself seems to have stopped at the park.

The forest is silent save for the distant sound of a car pulling out of the parking lot below and the gentle white noise of bugs and wind. She no longer feels the chill of the night; she was hot, so hot.

The separation doesn’t last long; a burning need to be touched controls every fiber of her body, and his answers in kind.

She grew bolder as the kisses began anew. She began at the mouth—at those sassy lips that she loved curled into mischievous smiles in the game—at the soft corners of his lips, then found his jaw, his cheeks, his earlobes… Sure, she had touched him before, to help him wash and dress, but never like this. He was so firm, as if he never sat a day in front of a computer, or perhaps was just as fit as their statuesque friend Zen, and so warm. Her skin burned where they made contact. It was glorious. It was like she was calling the heat and shape of him out of the darkness—and the darkness was turning solid beneath the covers of his worn-in jeans.

His hands gripped her harder, and she could feel a distinct, undeniable indication that she was doing something right. A shaky half-breath, half-groan of pleasure escapes his throat as Ember’s lips trail from his jaw down his Adam’s apple and around the collar of his shirt. Her body cursed the layers of fabric between them, and for a moment her hands began to move of their own free will, sliding down his chest, feeling the muscles of his torso tighten as she trailed down toward his waist.

His head sinks into the crook of her neck as she lavishes his collar with bites and kisses, lapping away the soreness from the stiff muscles.

“Ember…”

The whisper sends brilliant sparks through her body, as the sound of his wanton voice brushes her ear. His lips brush her neck below the ear, and her movements stop. Ember can feel her eyes roll back in pleasure, and her lids close. A nearly forgotten warmth spread between her thighs as the slickness of her sex begins to saturate her underwear.

It has been too long if one make-out session can get her this worked up.

His lips continue a similar pattern, trailing down the side of her neck, just barely skirting the spot she knew would melt her into a puddle. She shivers against him, and she wonders if he knows somehow. Her eyes are closed when she feels his hands release their grip and he guides her to the grassy patch beneath a shadowed tree. She pulls him on top of her, their bodies intertwined at the legs. Beginning again the barrage of kisses and caresses, Ember is unable to restrain her desires. She can only imagine the lewd expression on her face, the flushed cheeks, the panting, dampened lips…

The world seemed dreamlike as he pulls back from her, watching the starlight setting her face aglow. Without speaking, she starts carefully running her hands down from his collar, tracing the lines of his muscles through his shirt. In a way, it felt as if she was confirming it was the same person; he has changed so much.

With precise and steady hands, Saeyoung begins to carefully unbutton Ember’s shirt. Between each button, he leaves a soft kiss on her lips, before watching the increasingly exposed chest. Each time his fingers brush her chest, sparks of anticipation fill her body, and silencing any residual hesitation she may have had hidden away. The way he looked at her was so curious, almost wild, like he had never seen such a creature as her before. She felt short of breath as he lowered his head and kissed between her breasts and slowly ran his tongue up her neck. A libidinous whimper escapes her lips as his palms spread the shirt open to coax out the ample flesh of her breast.

“S-sae…young…” she whispers as his hands make soft passes with his hand, perking up her nipples beneath the bra that was frustratingly still on. Her hips roll against his as the last of her restraint shatters, and her hands trail down his body.

She hardly registers that his hands have removed themselves from her, and grabbed her wrists, stopping them from their surefire descent to his belt region.

“Wait, not yet,” his whisper comes as a shock, as he brings her hands to his lips and kisses the fingertips. “I don’t want…no, that isn’t true, you shouldn’t…we need…Sorry…I’m messing this up.” His gaze catches hers and for a moment she can almost read his thoughts.

He doesn’t want to end up in the same position as Zen.

“Hey…Look at me,” she says as he tries to turn is gaze away from her exposed skin. “It is okay. I get it. Trust me,” She whispers, rising to kiss the tip of his nose.

His face is twisted in a strange combination of relief and anger at his miscalculation. She watches his shoulders tense and his breathing regulate.

“I do, Ember. That is part of the problem…Come on, it’s late. Let’s go home," Saeyoung says finally, still looking a bit upset.

 _Home_.

The way he said it almost made it sound like it was not just his, but _their_ home. The hoarse whisper and the intonation of his voice made Ember’s core tighten with the possibilities, despite having just put on the brakes. She nods as he wipes the moisture from her lips with the pad of his thumb.

“Can we continue this conversation when we get there?” She asks as she re-buttons her shirt. His answer comes as he pulls her to her feet moments later.

“I’d be really sad if it didn’t.”

Her hand is in his, and there is a comfortable silence walking slowly side by side. Their shoulders rubbed lightly against one another as the silent darkness filled Ember’s mind with every scenario that could play out.

Tonight had completely changed her idea of their relationship. There was a huge part of her that was giddy with joy, screaming in ecstasy after finally reaching this point with the man she loved.

There was another part that was absolutely terrified.

Her mind was on fire with what could only be described as any and every fan fiction ever written about her favorite red-headed hacker; both good and bad. They replayed and melted, sending a deep blush to her cheeks long before his hand released hers and they began the aggravatingly long drive home. She felt too hot!

The drive was equally silent, but a heavy thickness saturated the air in the small car. If expectation and anticipation had a scent, by the time they pulled into the garage and the engine of the beast was lulled to sleep in its parking spot, both of them were saturated with the heady smell.

“A-are you hungry?” Ember asks quietly as she follows Saeyoung into the house. She feels ridiculous for asking, but for some reason her brain is completely scattered. “It’s been a long day, so we shouldn’t skip meals.”

Saeyoung laughs as he tosses his sweatshirt onto the living room couch. “I’m fine. But we should clean up a little and relax. We have a lot to…”talk about” tonight.”

“I…yeah, okay,” her heart screams and her face flushes anew with the animalistic look that is smoldering in his eyes.

With that, he kisses her brow and disappears down the hall toward his computer lab. A sigh escapes her as she watches him go, before she turns and makes her way back to her room.

Her core aches with denial, and she can’t help but think about the last time she felt any sort of release. As she climbs into the shower, her mind goes blank, and she can hardly keep her hands moving. She wanted to hurry and be done with the shower, and simultaneously didn’t want to seem desperate for his attention.

But she was; she wanted every moment of his time. She wanted him to look at her the way that Zen looks at MC. She wanted to feel totally and completely needed; she wanted him to be selfish with her.

She hurries to dry, and dresses in an oversized t-shirt, clean underwear, and forgoing any bottoms. As she is walking from the room, her hair still dripping, she contemplates removing the underwear, since she knows just being in his proximity at this point will soak these ones through too.

“Saeyoung?” Ember calls quietly from his bedroom door. She hears the water still running from his bathroom, and decides to enter anyway.

There is a strong scent of shampoo and soap coming in the room with the steam from the bathroom door. She can just see movement of color in the fogged up mirror through the cracked door. Although the thought occurs to her that she could easily walk in on him, or even just watch him from the door, she decides she doesn’t have the guts to do it.

Yet.

The bed is still unmade from the night before. Saeyoung’s pajamas are scattered on the floor in crumpled piles. The clothes he wore out are scattered in a line from the bedroom door to the bathroom, as if he shed them like a snake does his skin on the way to the shower. She nearly trips on his sneakers as she makes her way around the room, plucking the discarded clothes from the floor and tossing them to the hamper at the far end of the room.

“You give me way too many ideas.”

There is a sexy sort of laugh in his voice when he says this, as she is just about to grab the last article of clothing from the floor. From his vantage point, she’s bent over at the waist, and he has a rather clear view of her current choice of underwear beneath her tee shirt. She had hardly noticed that her backside was pointed almost directly at the bathroom door.

She couldn’t have planned that better if she tried.

“I-ideas?” She stammers, tossing the last article to the hamper, and trying to act as innocent as possible.

“Mhmm.”

She feels him hum, as he is rather swiftly right behind her. His lips find her neck again, nibbling and kissing down the damp skin. “You smell nice, princess. And don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the view, but you are still wet.”

“Whose fault is that?” Ember asks coyly. She feels his chest against her back, and can tell he is wearing nothing more than a towel around his waist. “I do believe it was your suggestion to shower.”

“I did, didn’t I?” he plants one final kiss on her shoulder before pulling her toward the bed. “I guess I should take responsibility for that. Sit.”

She sits reluctantly on the edge of the bed where he pointed as he returns to the bathroom. He emerges a minute later wearing a pair of draw-string pants and holding a brush, comb, and hair dryer. She can’t help but stare at the abnormally fit abdomen, and the faint trail that follows the line from his belly button to the pants that are sitting tantalizingly low on his waist.

“Saeyoung? What are you doing?”

“You took good care of me, and I was terrible to you. Just let me do this, okay?” He pleads as he sits behind her, plugging in the hair dryer and laying out the combs and brush beside him.

“This isn’t what I was expecting,” Ember mumbles as he flicks on the dryer.

“I’ve thought that a lot, when it comes to you,” Seven answers. “I…I really don’t know what to do with you.”

“You had the right idea earlier,” Ember coos playfully. The sensation of the man she loved working through her hair was making her body relax far more than she thought it could. Perhaps she was more pent up and on edge than she had expected.

“Yeah, I…I am sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” Ember says, silently disagreeing with herself.

“I am…I’m just terrified that the same thing will happen to us…” His movements slow, and a few minutes go by without either of them talking. “I haven’t been so lost to the world to not see what it’s done to Zen and MC.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ember sighs and closes her eyes. The sensation of his hands in her hair makes her body nearly melt into the bed. “There are precautions that are relatively easy to get ahold of you know.”

“Which,” he whispers, kissing and letting his lips run a feather-light trail up the back of her neck. She groans and she just knows she’s a lost cause. “Is why I said to wait.”

Ember delved into the sensations Saeyoung’s lips were feeding her. She was on fire and shivering at the same time. Her skin felt like a thousand stars bursting, and every nerve in her body was acutely aware of every movement that his redhead made. Even the most mundane and platonic movements he made as he brushed through her hair made her grow ever more aroused.

“That…feels nice,” She moans as he runs one last careful hand through her dried locks. “You should do that more often.”

“As you wish,” He answers standing and unplugging the hair dryer. He doesn’t really need to tell her what he’s doing as he makes his way back to the bathroom. The look he gives her is almost commanding; which she never really associated to his personality before.

_Stay put._

She sits silently watching him as he takes his time replacing the hair s supplies and digging in the medicine cabinet above the sink in the bathroom. She doesn’t need to see the box to know exactly what he’s getting.

“How long has it been?” She asks quietly, immediately regretting the question as it leaves her lips. He was a secret agent; he must have had his choice of women before her. She really didn’t want to know…but at the same time…

He turns the box over, looking intently at the words printed on the side. “Long enough that these are expired.” He sighs, tossing the box in the garbage and rummaging around again. The question barely seemed to faze him.

“Oh.”

_Smooth Ember, real smooth._

“You?”

She swallows the lump in her throat. She can’t really believe they are having this conversation as he is looking for condoms.

“Too long.”

What an awkward conversation.

She looks at her hands as they curl and twist in her bare lap. She isn’t sure if she is more nervous or happy at the moment. Her brain attempts to calculate when her last period was, when the next one will be, when she would have ovulated…just in case.

“Good.”

She didn’t hear him leave the bathroom, nor did she hear him retrieve the black duffle bag from the closet, but there he was, pulling out various bags and pouches from it, opening them, before tossing them back into the duffle.

“God…damn it!” He grumbles, opening the last pouches on a utility belt that had been at the bottom of the duffle bag. “The ONE time I actually want one…”

“Saeyoung,” Ember says, trying not to laugh at his frustration. “Saeyoung, come here.”

His eyes meet hers in an instant before he gets up and flops next to her on the bed. “I’m sorry. It seems that I may have messed up again.”

She leans over, planting a kiss on his lips. She can feel his body try to curl against her, as if every inch of his skin needs to be in contact with hers. Her mind races, how long, how long…

Her lips don’t separate from his for long, and she can sense his mind and body at war; to just go with it, or stop because the risks are too high. His hand rests on the small of her back, holding her against him.

“I bet Zen wasn’t this awkward the first time,” He mumbles against her lips as they separate.

“You aren’t Zen.”

He sighs, sitting up, and taking his glasses off to rub the bridge of his nose. “No, I’m not nearly as great as he is. He is just about perfect.” He sighs and looks at Ember with such a self-deprecating smile that her heart sinks a little. “I don’t understand how you could possibly want _me_. Of everyone in this world, why _me_?”

She shrugs, brushing her hand across his cheek. “I didn’t have a choice, Saeyoung. You were totally unique, individual, and entirely outside of my league. You are beautiful, vast, but filled with so much…like space. Even in the darkest spots, there is still something, if I just look at it right.” She feels ridiculous, saying those things. It’s super corny, and she can’t help but mentally kick herself for being so damn poetic. “I could never get tired of discovering every lost and undiscovered corner of you. I imagined it, I dreamed it, and I felt connected to it somehow; like my heart was made of the same little bits of darkness and stardust. My heart called to it. I couldn’t pick who my heart decided it needed.”

His eyes darkened, and began to grow moist as her words petered out into whispered ministrations of her affection. For all the knowledge, for all of the genius he was so proud of, he couldn’t find any coherent thought sufficient enough for that moment. He was at a loss for words.

Except that he was thankful he picked her too.

“Stop thinking so much, my lonely God Seven. Not everything can be hacked an analyzed.” She smiles at him, kissing him softly. “Now, unless I am mistaken, there is a drug store about three blocks down the road. Should I drive over?”

He laughs a little at her sudden playfulness and reaches up to pull her face to his for a deep, rough kiss. “No, maybe we should just call it a night,” he says. “I want it to be special. I may not be a Casanova like Zen, but I want to do it right.”

Her body involuntarily cries out in despair. “Okay.” She whispers, fighting every feminine urge in her body. “It’s been a long day, and…well a lot has happened.”

“Yeah…Um, Ember?” He says shyly. “Thank you.”

Her smile lights up the dim room as she playfully crawls up the bed and jumps under the covers. “You can thank me by letting me sleep here again.”

“Hah, yeah, alright. I’d like that.”

He jumps under the covers and snuggles into this pillow, watching as Ember yawns and gets comfortable. Minutes go by as her eyes begin to droop and her breathing regulates. He kicks himself mentally for calling such an abrupt halt to the night, especially as the collar of her giant shirt falls, exposing a good portion of one breast.  

“Good night…Ember.”

“Good night God Seven,” she mumbles, and a cute smile creeps onto her lips.

~~

He’s tossing in his sleep.

It is the sound of his voice that makes Ember wake up. His body is hot, sweaty, and far too tense. His eyes are clamped shut, and his lips won’t stop moving.

“No…you…not her…”

He’s having a nightmare, and a bad one at that. She turns to her side, watching him for a moment, groggily contemplating waking him up. He hasn’t slept much more than a couple hours at a time since she arrived, so the idea of waking him up was a difficult one to swallow.

Until he made that sound; it was pure and total anguish, embodied in a single howl that erupted from him after a brief moment of silence. It was not unlike the one she heard; the day that Saeyoung discovered his brother was dead.

“Saeyoung! Shhh, it’s okay, it’s just a dream,” Ember is wide awake, wrapping her arms around him, brushing the awkwardly short hair with her fingertips. He pants, his eyes fluttering open, and practically dives into her chest. His face is smothered in her shirt, and she feels him shake as he cries. “It’s okay, I’m here, and I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“You…you left…he…took you…”she hears him whisper between choking sobs.

She kisses the top of his head, still gently caressing his back. His body was masculine, but in that moment, he felt frail, like he could break if she moved the wrong way. “I’m not leaving you, Saeyoung. I’m not going anywhere.”

He stays like that, nuzzled between her breasts for what seems like hours before his breathing finally normalizes. It is rather sudden, actually. As if the world just suddenly made sense to him.

She was starting to doze again, still muttering gentle comforts when she felt everything shift. His hands were not shaking; they were trailing a slow path from her knee to her hip, pausing over the elastic of her underwear.

Her eyes shot open faster than a meteor falling to earth.

Saeyoung’s breath was hot against her chest as he kissed it through the shirt. There was something very different about his actions. She couldn’t quite put it into words exactly, nor could she bring herself to make him stop.

It was like he was making sure she was there; convincing himself that she was alive.

His hands pawed at her flesh, and despite the heat radiating from his body, which had, at some point, nearly fully covered hers, she shivered against him. His hands explored, strong, and confident; his fingers raked down her back, which made her arch into him, eliciting a groan from his occupied lips.

“Saeyoung,” she whispers before his lips claim hers.

Every fear Saeyoung felt melted into her lips at that moment, and a fresh, feverish need overtakes all of the other emotions either of them felt. He needs to feel her; he needs to know beyond any doubt that she exists right then.

There was no need for words; there was no need for dominance. Swimming in that lust was the desire to simply be taken, to have him master her, quell all doubts in a moment of rough usage, to make her forget herself, she needed to feel as though she was alive as much as he did. They both knew there would be plenty of time for that. Tonight was not that night. Tonight was about their first time together and establishing trust. Tonight was about confirming the deepest, darkest emotions that had been hidden from the world.

Tonight was about proving that there was a reason to live.

Her shirt was bunched up beneath her breasts, and in one motion, the shirt was removed and tossed to the floor. He leaned down, pressing his mouth between her breasts. She arched into him, begging for more of his touch. He gave her more, kissing a line down to her belly. A breathy moan escaped her throat, and her stomach clenched and quivered beneath his mouth.

The cold metal of his cross necklace trails down her heated flesh as he makes his way down the center of her torso, pausing only a moment to hook his fingers around the elastic waist-band of her panties, and tug them slowly down over her hips.

A noise somewhere between a growl and a groan rumbles from Saeyoung’s throat as the scent of her saturated sex fills the air. She wants to be embarrassed, she wants to feel some sort of shame, to feel some sort of regret for allowing this to happen, when it seems like it is only to comfort him.

But it feels too good.

As strong as the lust and the desire that was throbbing painfully in her core, there was a deep need to feel alive, to feel that sensation that she is whole and desired.

His lips hovered, trialing kisses between the crests of her pelvis bone, occasionally embarking on a short trip down the quaking  muscles of her thighs, but never venturing closer. Oh no, he knew his hands were far better suited for that journey.

Perhaps it was the detailed and precise work with his hands that made him so good at his next ministrations of sexual gratification. His fingers, although slightly calloused from years at a computer, and playing with robotics, felt as soft as fine suede as they found their way from her sides, her hips, and finally to the saturated folds between her thighs. For a very brief moment, Ember had enough coherent thought to believe that maybe his work was beneficial in this way too. Maybe he could utilize the same stability, the same detailed precision he used to build complex creations, to play her well into release.

For a heartbeat, he was suddenly hesitant; it was as if they were doing something that had to be kept secret. He was careful about touching her, as if she might disappear or melt from his touch. She couldn’t help but worry that maybe he was reconsidering what he was doing. But his gentle caresses continued with increasing intensity, and her worries faded behind her half lidded eyes. Her writhing and silent plea for his touch brought a swift end to that hesitation.

His touch felt like color itself exploded within her body. She was far from the precipice of release, but the man, whose lips were trailing once more up her stomach, was heavenly; he made her believe magic was real. His fingers caressed her clit with firm but gentle strokes, dipping gently into the pooled slickness of her sex.

Maybe, just maybe, he really was a god.

Her hands slid down his stomach, finally reaching the ties of his pants, and tugging the bow apart with ease. Her hands slide down his hips and thighs as far as she could reach, and she frees his firm manhood from the constraints of the fabric. She doesn’t need to see it to know how turned on he is; for how hot she felt, he matched it, if not exceeded it. He helps her shove the offensive clothing down, before laying his body against hers again. Finally, she feels the sweat-dampened skin of her lover pressed against her.

Ember’s lips meet his once more, as Saeyoung settles himself between her legs. Her thighs cradled his hips. She could feel his manhood bumping against her mound, so close to entering her, and yet so painfully far. Her hips rocked up against him, eliciting a throaty groan from him. His response is one hand finding a new hold on her hip, pinning it to the mattress. The hours of denial earlier in the day was quickly being replaced with the anticipation of him slowly sliding into her.

In one undulating motion, the anticipation and denial turns to bliss.

The sound of fluid soaked fleshy thrusts, dotted only with panting and the occasional grunt or groan fill the air. The room felt so sticky, too stuffy, the air is thick and heavy with the smell of their combined fluids.

There is nowhere else Ember would rather be.

She claws at his back as he steadily rocks into her. Every pulse and every twitch his member makes radiates inside her; she is so acutely aware of his body that she can almost feel his thoughts. He peppers her throat with bites and kisses, sometimes just resting his lips on the hollow of her collar, inhaling the scent of her sweat soaked hair. Her core tightens as the grind into each other; her body wants him so badly that it would be painful to let him leave her now.

He slows down, almost to stopping, breathing heavily; he stares at her, his amber eyes barely visible in the near pitch darkness. They scan her face, asking—imploring her. _Are you sure?_

She answers with a kiss, forcing his lips apart as her tongue circles his, toying with the muscle without a care of the saliva that is inevitably covering their mouths. His movements come to a complete halt, and she can feel his hands clench handfuls of the sheets, and his abdomen tighten. His eyes clench shut and he releases short, desperate breaths, as his legs quake between her thighs.

Questions immediately flood her as she watches his face relax slightly after a few long seconds. Self-doubt clouds her previously sex-addled mind.

_Does he want to stop? Does he regret this? Is he going to burry himself in her, and they will hope that timing is right?_

_No, no it’s not that. It is much simpler; she should think less._

_He’s holding himself back. He wants her to cum first._

But she won’t; she won’t cum until she feels him on the brink of release. She wants to feel him so close where he couldn’t stop himself if he wanted to.

She needs to feel him love her, to sink into her, to delve so deep that it is hard to find where one ends and the other begins. She won’t let herself find release until she is the only thing in his mind; not until he has let go of everything--the joy, the pain, every thought and every emotion--and given them to her.

His motions start again, the gyration of his hips dipping into her with deep, languid thrusts; it is getting difficult for Ember to remember why she was holding back as she feels the tension building with the oncoming orgasm.

The pleasure he was bringing her was almost painful. She cannot think; only hot wanting, the feral impulses of her sex, and this man, his body and mind, slowly melding into hers. She’s so tight; she can feel every pulse, every shudder, and every breath either of them take.

She feels him shudder again, his abs tighten with the building of his orgasm.  Her body tightens more around him, pulsing, gripping onto him. She is so close. Just a little more…

“Ember…” the sound is barely a whisper, but hearing her name called in that shaky, husky voice makes her undone. Her lips parted, stretching like she is releasing some sort of silent howl, her eyes closed against the near overwhelming sensations that shake every fiber of her body.

As soon as her body began to arch and shudder in, Saeyoung groans, as the abrupt rush of his orgasm grips him, but he doesn’t stop. He grabs hold of her, as if instinctually afraid she might leave, and arches closer toward her as he comes, thrusting a few more times before hilting himself within her. He stays in that position watching her face as best he could, trying to ignore the pleasure that surges through him like a shooting star.

Her body feels like the heavens have opened within her; blinding stars exploding, the heat of a thousand billion suns burning, while the chill of space takes her breath away. When she finally opens her eyes, she stares up at Saeyoung with helplessness, mixed with hunger and surprise. It was as if she was jaunted back to reality—to Earth, after being in a trance, and understood what had just happened. She’s scared, ecstatic, worried, satisfied, confused and relieved, and it all plays across her face like a movie.

His lips find hers once more, gently caressing the softness of her face and jaw, slowly edging down her jaw and throat, relishing the last moments of their joining as he slowly goes soft inside of her. Her arms wrap around him, embracing him, letting his heavy body crush hers into the sweat-soaked sheets. She wasn’t ready to let go.

“Stay.” It was the first word he had spoken for what felt like hours. She could not bring herself to look away from his begging eyes, even as hers began to tear up, and he kissed away the drops as they fell.

She nods. _“As if he needed to ask,”_ she thinks as he slides to her side, and pulls her to his chest. His heart is beating steady and strong in his chest.

“I love you, Saeyoung…” She whispers, feeling his breathing regulate as he drifts back into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3
> 
> God they were so awkward. Why do they have to be so hard to write? 
> 
> Anyways, there you go. Now onto the next chapter...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so not my favorite chapter, but yeah. 
> 
> A lot happens in this one, sooo yep, here ya go.

“You don’t need to walk so fast,” Saeyoung grumbles with a yawn. “Why do we have to do this so early anyway?”

Ember shuffles across the street, dragging Saeyoung by the hand. “Because the best produce get there early,” she answers simply. “And the best price and quality are at the farmer’s market.”

The redhead sighs, but it is only half-hearted; in reality, he has become rather attached to her seemly random excitable moments. Sure, being awake and on the road by 6:30 in the morning, in order to get to the early morning market, was not ideal, but watching her eyes sparkle in the dawn light made it worthwhile.

It had been nearly a three weeks since the day Ember took Saeyoung out; and things had changed rather dramatically. He no longer pushed her away emotionally, although opening up the way Zen coached was still out of the question. He made an effort to call her by name, something he hadn’t realized he didn’t do until Ember brought it up the day following their…extracurricular activities. When he says her name, her face lights up, and the prettiest smile warms her face. He wanted her to smile like that.

She loved him unconditionally, and with every fiber of her beautiful being. Saeyoung reminded himself every day that her existence is a blessing; her existing at his side was a miracle, and he thanks God for sending this angel to him.

“Hey, Ember. We should go shopping after this, since we are in town,” he says, catching up to her and shoving his available hand in his pocket. “So you can…you know, pick stuff for the house.”

“I don’t have enough left from my allowance for that,” Ember sighs. “It is okay, I don’t need anything.”

He had started giving her money to use as she wished. She called it her allowance, but she could have asked for more. She never did ask for anything from him; she always made due with whatever he provided for her. Ember should be more selfish.

Saeyoung decided to make a new credit card for her when he got back.

“Really, you need to have things that are yours. I don’t mind you using my things, but…you need your own too,” he sighs, and they arrive across the street from the park where the market is being held. “And remind me again why we need fresh kale?”

“I like kale.”

She pulls out a couple of bags she had crocheted out of bright colored yarn specifically for the purpose of going to the farmer’s market, and hands one to Saeyoung. “Now, pick at least two vegetables and one fruit, enough for both of us.”

“Why?” He groans playfully. “Honey Buddha Chips are made from potatoes; that makes it a veggie, doesn’t it?”

She pouts, which just makes Saeyoung laugh quietly. Her arms fold in front of her, and she glares at him. “Because you promised you’d start eating a bit better. You can start with more vegetables!”

So they wander through the stalls, purchasing a variety of foods of the healthy assortment that Ember had specified. She talked at length about the different things she could cook with each item, and seemed genuinely excited about the prospect.

She was so alive, so bright.

And his.

It was a constant battle with himself; wanting to have a person, and knowing that he didn’t deserve it. But ultimately, she gave him a reason to wake up, when he was totally alone. The possessiveness had started before that fateful date-night. Since then, Ember was not alone with Vanderwood. The thought of Vanderwood trying to get her attention was sickening, and he hated it. It was difficult to admit that he was so attached to her, and moreover, that he didn’t even have any restraint when it comes to her safety. Even the few times that his partner would show up, he would always have eyes in the room where they were, even if he had to use the bathroom or go get a file from the lab. He always was watching, because he simply could not trust him anymore.

Ember, of course, was beautifully oblivious to it; she didn’t even really think Vanderwood had any interest in her. Her innocence was part of her charm.

“Earth to Captain Seven!” Ember  says while nudging him with her elbow. “Are you even listening?”

“Yeah. No, no not really.” He grabs the filled bag from her, handing her the emptier one to add the small bag of apples, oranges, and avocados to. “What was that?”

“I wanted to see if I could use one of your better computers later. I have some stuff I want to run that analysis program on.” She looks slightly nervous, and is avoiding looking at his eyes when she asks. It is the one thing she does that indicates she is holding something back.

“Like what? I can run it; I don’t know that you’d know how. It is complicated programming,” Saeyoung says and takes the filled bag back from her.

“Some things I got…from Magenta,” She says quietly. “I have been trying to figure out how MC got here. I’ve read through it all, but there is something missing.”

He nods. He had already looked through all the information she had on those hard drives in her room. Of course he had hacked into that puny laptop she used, and watched her scan through the documents, and made duplicates on his own machines to look through. At first he was upset that she was looking at them, but when he realized that she was doing it to find out how to help MC, his anger ebbed some. He still didn’t really understand why she was so fascinated with the elixir.

That was a subject he was still touchy about; the elixir. She had come back from visiting Zen, with armfuls of clothes and accessories (which reminded him, he never thanked Zen for that), and that bright green folder filled with Mint Eye documents.

She was in the kitchen and he had gone to see what she got from Zen; after all, he may be able to use some of the items too, when the mood strikes him to dress up. The folder was rather conspicuous, lying on her pale colored comforter.

Of course he opened it. And obviously, he took a few pages and returned to his lab to go over them. He was surprised to find that it was a recipe for the elixir. He didn’t know how she got it, or if she had gotten it from Zen; he only knew that she had some information about what the connection was.

And it had something to do with Saeran.

She was always so careful to dance around saying his name, or mentioning the situation directly; she was good him that way. After finding out that she had lived through the death of her family, he no longer resented her small acts of consideration; they called to him, and reminded him that she was there, and he could continue like she could.

“Seven!”

“Yeah, sorry.” His thoughts refocused on the blonde woman as they approach the food truck area.

She sighs, putting the bag onto an unoccupied picnic table and taking her wallet out of her purse, before continuing. “So what do you want for breakfast? Coffee, smoothies, oh! They have doughnuts! Then there is a fruit stand there and…”

“Whatever you get is fine, Ember,” Saeyoung smiles, sitting down with the bags, and watching as she walks through the food trucks, reading the menus thoughtfully. The woman had changed a little too, if his observations were correct. She was prettier now—not that she wasn’t already—but she seemed to, in a way, try harder to look nice.

Saeyoung watches the sway of her hips in the light colored jeans she is wearing, noting that the sweater she’s got on doesn’t hide nearly enough of her butt. He glares at a passing young man who obviously stares at her as he passes her by.

_She really is too beautiful_. He never thought that he’d find someone as perfect as she is. Even with his algorithm, he really hadn’t expected Ember.

He had tried multiple times to show her his work, knowing that she would ultimately understand what he did and why; but he was afraid. There was still too much doubt in his mind that she would hate him for dragging her across dimensions. After all, look how it was affecting MC; she was growing weaker each time she appeared. Then again, Ember doesn’t come and go like MC does, and that was still a conundrum that Saeyoung just couldn’t sort out.

“Here,” Ember says, returning with two coffees, some cut fruit, and a croissant. “If you want more, we can get a snack at home.”

“Thanks, Ember. I’m sure this is fine.” Saeyoung smiles and tries to focus as best he can on the woman in front of him, as she starts to talk about building a garden at home, and the memory of the one she had as a kid.

~~

The streets were just beginning to fill with morning commuters when Saeyoung and Ember left the market. People wearing suits and skirts marching with purpose and caffeine down the sidewalk, passing the duo without seemingly any notice whatsoever. It was an extraordinarily normal day.

Ember was listening to Seven talk about the things she should buy for the house; he is only a few steps behind her, holding a half-finished coffee in one hand, and the produce-laden bag in the other. She answers over her shoulder, walking steadily toward the parked sports car in the public parking area just a couple blocks away.

“You really want me to go shopping?” Ember asks as they come up to an intersection. They wait as the traffic passes by, enjoying the breeze that comes up from the moving vehicles.

“Yes, I do. Maybe you can ask Zen to go with you. I mean, he is the closest you have to a lady friend to go out with, and he’d know way more about clothes, beauty products, hair stuff… Or maybe Jaehee. I know you haven’t met yet, but I think you two would be able to get along.” Saeyoung takes out his phone while scooting the bag onto his forearm. “Plus, I am worried about him; he keeps calling and being really weird on the phone. He listens to you, so I wanted you to scope it out.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Her answer is rather shaky, and she looks away, distracted by something across the street.

Saeyoung is busy looking at his phone, texting the actor about a good time to go with Ember shopping. “He probably needs some time out anyway, and you’re such a good friend. He could use some fun too. Just, you know, don’t go to the cat exhibit. Unless you take pictures…”

She hums in agreement, still craning her neck to look over the cars and few gathered people, still looking across the intersection on the other side of the road. “Hey, Saeyoung doesn’t that look like—“

Suddenly her body lurches forward, her purse falling onto the pavement, spilling the few items inside over the sidewalk. The weight of the grocery bag sends her stumbling into the intersection, falling to her hands and knees.

“EMBER!”

There are few things she could register at that standstill moment; the scent of burning rubber, the blood pounding in her ears, and the tinted windows of a black sedan that was barreling toward her without any indication of stopping.

_I am going to die._

She was too scared to feel the strong grip on her torso as it rips her from the pavement, and that car flies through the same spot, missing her by a hair. The bag of groceries explodes on impact, sending mashed fruit and shredded vegetable greens through the intersection and adhering to the hood of the car as it turns left and continues, swerving from overcorrecting as it disappears down the busy street.

She lands with a graceless thud against Saeyoung’s chest, landing firmly butt first on the pavement. His arms are shaking, but the muscles will not loosen their hold on her. “Are you okay? Please say you’re okay.” Saeyoung asks, holding onto her with a grip stronger than death itself.

Ember is too numb; she stares pale-faced and wide eyed at the remnants of the food, now splattered over the street.

She didn’t trip, someone pushed her. She _felt_ those hands.

That car didn’t slow down. It sped up. It didn’t even honk.

Saeyoung’s hands clasp onto her cheeks, forcing her gaze to his. His eyes are watering, searching frantically for answers in her face. It was then that the weight of what happened crushed her.

She begins to sob, and her hacker god embraces her, burying her face in his chest as the last fibers of her sanity break.

The spectators slowly dissipate, leaving the couple kneeling on the sidewalk among the spilled items and food remnants.

“It’s okay, I have you,” Saeyoung whispers, cradling her shaking shoulders as close as possible. His own heart is throbbing, and he has to focus on being strong. He rubs her back, whispering into her ear until she’s calmed down enough to sit silently as he picks up the last items from their bags. Her wallet had gone missing, but even that didn’t seem important.

“Okay, up we go.” He says, pulling her up to standing. She teeters, gripping her left bicep with her left hand, staring puffy-eyed at the floor. He watches her shudder as a car gets a little close to the intersection while turning. “It is just a little further. Actually…”

He slings the bag of food over one arm and the purse over the other, before crouching down in front of her. “Hop on. I’ll carry you.”

She tries to decline, but slowly inches toward him, and latching onto his shoulders. Perhaps under other circumstances she would have had fun; how long had it been since she was given a piggy-back ride? Do adults even do this?

But she could only focus on the shaking of her arms, and the bounce of his weight laden steps. “Okay, just a little farther, okay? Don’t worry; I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“Okay,” is the only thing she can manage to whisper, as they make their way across the street, avoiding the strange looks the other pedestrians give them. Her eyes are trained on the corner that she had been watching before it all happened.

He wasn’t there anymore; the man that looked so familiar to her. She wasn’t sure she could even ask if Saeyoung saw him. Seven would probably go berserk.

But it was bothering her now; how many people have that shade of mint green hair?

What was he doing there? According to what she could find, he lived nowhere near this side of the city, and he was supposed to be out of town. Why was he looking at her? Well, presumably at her, but with dark sunglasses on, she couldn’t be certain. Plus, what point is there? She almost was run over by some crazy asshole, what difference would it make if she had seen him?

The ride home is a blur; getting into the house and deposited on the bed is a little clearer, but she doesn’t fully come to reality until well into the evening. Seven has relocated several laptops to the floor beside the bed, each loaded with images and camera stills, while his hands work feverishly typing into some command prompt.

He looks up when she moves, stopping his work to embrace her again. “I’m sorry…I didn’t see him…” He mutters, rocking her gently in his arms. “I should have been more careful, I’m sorry, I am so sorry…”

“It isn’t your fault; you saved me,” she says finally. “That…makes twice now.”

She looks over his shoulder to the stills on the screen. He had hacked into every security camera within a mile radius of the incident. A handful of images had a man in a gray hooded sweatshirt, with the hood up, shadowing his face. Whoever it was knew what they were doing, and never looked at the cameras, and quickly disappeared into the crowd. She sees one image that makes her stomach ball into a painful knot.

The moment that he pushed her; Saeyoung looking down at his phone by her side, she’s looking across the street at something just out of view, the perpetrator’s hands are just about to make contact with her back…

“I can’t find them. It’s as if they knew I would look! I don’t get it; why would someone go after you?” He is almost rambling now, his face securely laying on her shoulder, feeling her warmth and inhaling the scent of her hair. “I…I don’t know…what I’d do…”

“It is okay, I’m alive,” She says, finally breaking her eyes away from the screen. She wishes that the images were a little wider, so she could see if the person she saw was really there. But she couldn’t ask for the view; Seven would ask too many questions.

“It is anything but okay! How can you say it is okay! Why are you so calm now!” He mumbles angrily.

“I…I don’t know,” she answers, pulling away from him. “Maybe because I have already faced it once.”

His face twists into a confused scowl. “What do you mean, Ember? I don’t understand.”

She sighs, as the words escape her before she can really register what she’s saying. “I’ve already died once, and look where it got me.”

“You…died?” His eyes widen as the anger falls from his face, replaced by shock. “When? How? What are you saying?” Saeyoung’s mind is going a mile a minute, processing what she is saying and her body language.

“Before I got here, I was being stalked by some lunatic; he chased me and I jumped into the river to escape,” She starts, grabbing his hand to steady herself. She had a feeling she knew where this conversation was going. “As I hit the water, I felt strange, although I didn’t know it at the time.”

His eyes focus on her, and she can see the muscles in his jaw clench his teeth together. He doesn’t ask questions, he doesn’t interrupt, and he just watches her in silence.

“I landed in the forest outside of Magenta just before…I mean…” She stumbles over her words, worried about what she was trying to say.

“Just say it; it is fine,” Saeyoung says quietly, squeezing her hand gently.

“I didn’t know what was going on, you realize. I was soaked, confused, and cold. So I went looking for someone to help me, when I saw the building…and I saw you hauled inside.”

He watches her a moment before taking his glasses off and pulling her into a hug again. “You need to tell me everything, Ember. Don’t hold back, I can take it.”

They had talked in length about the series of events that had led to their meeting; everything from the stalker, to the computer program. Her story filled a lot of the missing pieces in Saeyoung’s theories, and he was able to begin anew with the research he was doing on the program.

The thought that she had died and got here then, was something that was sticking in his mind; if she died in her world, and ended up in his…could it have worked the other way around? They had discussed the theory, one night; Saeyoung had to bring it up, because he knew she wouldn’t do it.

It was then that she flushed and her face was so heavy with sorrow, that she admitted she knew something about Saeran. It was the second time she ever really looked like she had no emotional strength; the first being when she left the bathroom that day he cut his hair. Her eyes shook, and she wasn’t able to look at him as the words fluttered from her lips like dried leaves in autumn.

He was alive, but in her world.

Of course the news was like a bomb going off; his mind shut out the world for a week after the news, as he researched and studied everything over again. Ember, his guardian angel stood ever by his side, offering what help she could, and making sure he slept and ate. She often slept in the spare chair in the computer lab, rising only when he would finally agree to go to bed. She didn’t harass him about his eating habits, nor did she comment once about ignoring her while he worked. He could feel how worried she was, but he assured her repeatedly that it was okay; he just wanted to see if he could bring Saeran back.

Ember had told him not to, but he looked nonetheless. He couldn’t really understand why Ember told him not to try. But nothing made sense; from everything he could find, he was missing information, it was pure and simple luck—or an act of God.

He finally worked up the courage to show her the program he had created; the one that led her to this world in her time of need. Ember had told him about the stalker, and how, if he hadn’t reached her at that time, she likely would have died permanently. It made him feel marginally better about the situation, even though she now is in a world she hardly knows. She reacted reasonably, if not curiously when he explained the less intricate details of the code, mapping out the algorithms and how each had functioned.

At least, he explained the theory behind them as best he could, since he didn’t _really_ understand how they actually worked. She asked questions, talked about options, if he had tried x, or subtracted y, if he rearranged section A, or whatever; to Saeyoung, it was incredibly hot, having this blonde angel talk coding.

She input her theories about what she found in Saeran’s hard drives, and she didn’t seem all too surprised when Saeyoung admitted he looked through them all. She took it all in stride, and even laughed about the whole situation that night. She was even in a good enough mood to tease Seven about being turned on by her computer talk, and mixing innuendoes using computer terms at any opportunity.

For the first time since Ember’s arrival, they were both on the same page; neither of them were willing to risk the consequences of lies or withheld truths. They knew that they make a strong team, and together, they could conquer anything.

Maybe even—if they were very lucky—acts of God.


	13. Chapter 13

Ember sighed, walking down the aisle in the drug store. She didn’t particularly feel well, not that she felt abnormal, by any sense, but just not _well_. She was tired, which made her eyes felt like she was constantly on the verge of tears, and she just wasn’t feeling energized.

Maybe it was the long nights she’d stayed up, looking through the information that she and Seven were compiling. Maybe she really wasn’t sleeping as well as she thought, with all the stress from the past month, between the car incident, the pressure to discover how to keep MC on this side, and of course, their budding romantic relationship.

She decided she should just go out and get fresh air, in hopes that it would help break the tension that was building ever so steadily in her body.

So she had ventured out to the shopping center, and left Saeyoung at the computer store in the next building while she dodged in to the drug store to get a few necessities.

It wasn’t a foreign place, this particular aisle; it contained all the necessities a normal woman her age would need. Except this time, she walked with a jittery shake in her knees, where usually it was an ordinary affair.

She walked past the diapers, wipes…then the adult sexual health section. She never really understood why every store put baby stuff next to the lube and condoms. Ember grabbed a box of spermicide, a mix pack of condoms (it had been a while since she had bought them, so she didn’t know what to get), and then walked a few feet down the aisle.

Feminine hygiene, yeast infection and UTI medications, and finally… Tucked at the end of the isle, were the tests. She swallows the lump in her throat, and reached for the least expensive box. It shouldn’t be a big deal, it is a just in case thing…right?

But she was late. And, as much as the idea of being pregnant at the same time as her best friend sounded like such fun…Ember couldn’t bring herself to be happy about it. At first, she convinced herself it was the stress; after all, she’d been here for more than two months, and she hadn’t been sexually active till…well till that date night. And they had been careful since then.

But she was nearly a week late now.

She couldn’t help but feel there was something missing, something that was eating away at her conscious. She couldn’t be happy, or even think about having a baby with Saeyoung right now. Aside from MC dimension jumping…He hadn’t even said he loved her yet.

Not that she had said it directly either. Sure she had muttered it as he fell asleep after they had sex, on multiple occasions, but she never said it to him outright. It just felt like…if they couldn’t say it, they definitely were not ready for a baby either.

She gingerly placed the box beneath the other items, shuffling it between some shampoo and the colored Sharpies in her basket. Somehow, that one little box made the whole basket feel like it weighed a ton on her arm.

She checked out, avoiding eye contact with the cashier. She could only imagine the way the lady would look at her with that selection of items in her basket. With a brief smile, and a ‘thanks’ she leaves, feeling the nervousness and exhaustion culminate into a headache and a stomach ache.

Ember only gets a few steps before she decides she should stop at the bathroom before trying to track down Saeyoung in the computer store. It could take hours, knowing him, to get the redhead out of the store, especially without a truck load of parts he probably doesn’t actually need.

So she slips into the ladies room, hung her purse on the back of the door with her bag of drug store purchases. She can see the label of the pregnancy test through the plastic bag, and she reaches in to pull out the box, before sitting down to do her business.

She is about to open the box when she looks down to her underwear, and nearly squeals in relief.

Blood.

She can’t help but let a few tears out. This whole time she thought she was just tired and moody, but…How could she have forgotten what PMS felt like? She cleaned up as best she could, and laughs to herself.

She had never been so happy to start her period as she was that day.

~~

“Okay, so which one of these do you like better?” Ember asks, holding up two onesies. One was very girly, pink, with purple ruffles, a big teddy bear printed on the chest, the other, a brown with blue plaid trim, with a matching headband.

“I don’t know, just pick one.” Saeyoung sighs, looking at his phone and ignoring the question altogether. “Can’t I meet you up front? This is awkward.”

Ember sighs, putting both items back on the display before walking down a little further. She had plucked her Hacker God from the computer store as he was gearing up to purchase another new flat-screen monitor (this would be his third 60 inch monitor, and she couldn’t even figure out where he would put it). Although he admitted she was right to stop him, he grumbled about going shopping for baby stuff.

“It is only awkward if you make it that way. This is for MC and Zen’s baby,” she sighs, then kisses Saeyoung on the cheek. “We aren’t going to be parents. We’re safe. Now, you can go up front, I wanted to find a few things for MC when she gets back, and I need to buy some…underwear.”

His attention was caught and he looked at Ember with feigned disinterest. “Oh? Why, don’t you have enough?”

“At home, yes. But I need to change now,” She sighs, not wanting to spell it out for him.

“Why? Did you mess your pants? I wasn’t in the computer store that long-“

“Because I bled through mine! There, now go sit up front, or in the electronics section or whatever.” She pushes him as he blushes and then laughs at her mood swings.

“Oh, that’s all. Well fine, I’ll carry the basket then, just don’t ask my opinion…” his playful grin splays his lips, “except maybe for the underwear…mmmm.”

She swats his arm playfully, “Seven! We’re in public! In the BABY section! Watch what you say!”

He laughs and follows behind her, carrying the basket with a smile on his lips.

~~

She watches people pass by the window of the café she was sitting in. She was nervous, and fidgeting with a paper napkin, folding it into various shapes absently.

Saeyoung had kicked her out of the house.

It wasn’t a negative thing; no, quite the opposite. The two of them had been so stressed between everything going on, that they hadn’t paid attention to one tiny detail; Ember’s cycle. They panicked when her period was late a few days. To say that stress was high was an understatement.

So when the normally dreaded Aunt Flo arrived, they were relieved to say the least. After it ended, Saeyoung told her to go out for the afternoon because he wanted to surprise her, so Ember decided to go shopping for the upcoming baby shower.

The problem was, of course, that Saeyoung still had it in his head that someone was after her, despite not having any other hint of trouble since that day. But, since she didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him uncomfortable (after all, he now felt he was responsible for her safety as well), she agreed to his obnoxious plan.

“Hello, are you Ember?”

The woman’s voice startles her a little, making her jump in her seat.

Seven had ‘pulled some strings’ to have someone to help her go shopping. She hadn’t quite expected Jaehee to actually agree to it.

“Y-yes.” Ember stammers, standing to face the petite woman before her. “Oh, um, I’m sorry. Please, sit.”

“Thank you.” The woman replies. She’s smartly dressed, in a professional skirt suit, a shiny leather briefcase at her hip and a tablet in hand. “I am Jaehee. It is a pleasure to meet you, Ember.”

“The pleasure is mine,” Ember tries to smile, feeling her body shake from nervousness. “I’m sorry, I am not normally so nervous.”

The woman smiles and pushes her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose. “It is quite alright. Luciel did explain a few things. It was strange for Luciel to ask me to join you, though. I don’t know much about baby showers, although I have looked up the best rated stores in the area.”

“Wow, you’re so on top of things, Jaehee! Thanks! I was thinking I might change it up and actually buy myself a few things this time. I will look at your list though.”

“You flatter me too much, but thank you. I am only doing necessary research.” Jaehee answers rather matter-of-factly.

“Oh, would beg to differ. That is far beyond just “necessary research”. We have only just met and you’re trying to help, that makes you special enough,” Ember answers, smiling after a moment. Jaehee looks exactly like Ember imagined she would.  She sounds just like the character; Ember can’t help but wonder if they may be able to be friends. Jaehee was so formal and rigid, which was not normally a problem, but there was something odd about her behavior. She had a look in her eyes that just screamed ‘guilt’. With that twinge of doubt, Ember was not able to totally relax around the woman.

Ember stands, finding an excuse to get her thoughts straight. “So…What kind of coffee would you like? I think I need another cup.”

~~

Her coffee had long since been refilled for the second (or was it third?) time, and transferred to a to-go cup. Her thumb scrolls through the images of various baby gifts she had been eyeing, and decorations for a big baby shower. After all, she’d have to start planning now, since MC would be at almost 5 months along by now. A smile creeps on her lips as she remembers the nursing tank top and the embroidered blanket she had already bought at home; MC would love them, although, the blanket does say “from Auntie Ember, with love,” in fancy blue embroidery on one corner. She sighed, missing her friend, and gazing again out the window to watch a couple of teenage girls talking excitedly as they walk by.

Jaehee had left after Jumin had called her back to the office. It turns out that Jaehee is actually quite nice when she can relax. Talking about Zen and the last show he performed did help loosen her up a little, but she never really looked comfortable talking about MC.

However, she wasn’t quite ready to go home as she had yet to do her planned shopping, it was still early, and she didn’t have anyone she could call on to meet her. So she sat, waiting on any replies from Zen or Yoosung.

Her phone vibrates, accompanied by a strange song made of meows. She’ll have to talk to Seven about hacking her phone again.

“Zen! Hi!” she answers upon seeing his name on the caller ID. “What’s up? Did I call at a bad time?”

“Hey, Ember. No, well sort of. I have a last minute interview with this really famous director. I was just on the way now.” Zen says.  

“Oh! I hope you get the gig! I want tickets to this one!” She says excitedly. “I’m just looking for presents for MC.” Ember stands, getting ready to head out of the shop. She scoots around the table, avoiding the couple at the next table, who were sitting just a little too close. “Let me know when you want to meet up again, okay? I want some of your input too.”

“Yeah, sure thing. Thanks Ember, you’re the best…well second best, actually, third.” Zen laughs. “Okay, gotta go, have fun!”

“You too, Zen!” she says and hangs up with a sigh. She’ll have to explain this to Seven when she gets home, and she’s not looking forward to it. Then again, there hasn’t been anything weird happening to her since that day, so why shouldn’t she able to go out like a normal adult?

Because he trusts her, and he needs to feel she is safe.

“Ember?”

The voice sends an immediate chill down her spine. “No, I’m imagining it,” She whispers, turning around, and reaching into her purse for the safety of her Taser.

Standing a few feet away, looking like he had not slept in a week, was V. His hair was disheveled, a pair of large, aviator style sunglasses covering his mint eyes, and a large sweater weighing heavy over his shoulders and wrinkled shirt.

He normally looks so put together; it was part of his persona. Now, he looked like he was about to fall ill. “V?” She asks finally. Her hand never leaves the solid device in her bag.

“How are you?” He asks with a weak, almost frail voice. A forced smile presses his lips in a somewhat unconvincing expression. “I am glad I ran into you today. I had something to ask you.”

“I could say the same, V,” Ember replies, feeling the pent up frustration bubbling up again. “Like why you left me at Magenta, knowing what was going on. More importantly, why did you leave Luciel there, and why did you leave _that folder_ with Zen.”

His smile drops, but only for a moment. She wished he’d take the sunglasses off; being unable to see his eyes is making her uncomfortable.  “I am sorry. I went to find help, but by the time I got back, that boy had done…done it.”

She can’t help but feel that he is putting on some sort of act. Maybe the time spent at Saeyoung’s side had tainted her view of the artist who had, at one point, expressed pure intentions of assistance. After all, Saeyoung was strongly biased, and now, she was inclined to take his side.

“That isn’t an excuse V. You know it. What really happened?” Ember asks forcefully. She trains her expression to remain as neutral as possible.  Why did he have to show back up? It would have been better if he had never come back.

“That is the truth, Ember. I swear on everything I have,” V answers, putting a hand to his heart.

She rubs her right temple, where a faint but growing headache is developing. She’s going to have to tell Seven about all this too. He hadn’t taken the news of his appearance at Magenta well to begin with, but the fact that he is back…

“Fine. Just keep away from Seven and Zen, okay? You’ve done enough damage.” Ember turns back to her little table, picking up the coffee cup, and stumbling a little as the lid pops off and the room-temperature coffee sloshes out. “Damn it,” She grumbles sipping down the drink a little.

“Well, I guess you’re okay.” V turns to leave the café, barely turning back as he speaks. “Give Luciel my regards.”

He never did ask whatever question he had for her. She wondered for a moment if he forgot what he came there for, since he didn’t seem to have purchased anything. She watches his thatch of mint hair disappear into the crowd, before sipping her coffee again. It didn’t taste right; she must have forgotten to add sugar to it.

She poured in a couple more packets of sugar, stirring it with her finger before snapping the lid down again. The couple at the next table got up and left as she was finally getting up to leave. Of course, now that she is getting up to go, she has the room to relax.

The coffee still has a strange aftertaste after taking a few healthy swigs to empty the cup enough to avoid further spills. It was oddly bitter, even with the added sugar. Maybe they didn’t brew it right? They probably had burnt beans. But, she already paid for it, so she may as well finish it, and make sure to order a fresh cup next trip.

She’s almost to the truck in the parking lot, seeing that the rear tires are completely flat, when she realizes something is very wrong.

The cup falls from her hand as if her grip lost all strength. It lands on the pavement, with a hollow clatter, which is totally drowned out by the thumping of her blood through her head. It is like her blood is filled with lava; her head is on fire!

The unfamiliar headache hits like a freight train, followed by the queasy, unforgettable burning of her stomach.

It feels like the elixir.

Her gut wrenches, but nothing comes up. She was so sure that she was safe, but now…How could she have gotten that foul mix in her body again? She remembered the coffee tasted weird, but her back was only turned for a minute…

Her balance fails her, and she falls, catching herself on the tailgate of the truck, as her world starts swimming around her. Her stomach churns again, the inferno increasing in her head, and her vision starts to blur from the pain. She remembered the couple at the table, but she didn’t know them. Maybe V saw it? It was too dark to see any reflection in his glasses, not that she was sure she would have seen it anyway.

Could it have been some sort of injection? Surely she would have felt it. She hadn’t eaten yet, so the coffee was the only answer.

Thump, thump, thump.

“No…no…” She mutters, fumbling for her phone, and hitting the familiar picture of her hacker. She can hear the phone ring as she lands on the pavement, trying to keep herself from screaming in agony. It feels different this time. It is taking effect faster, harder…why won’t it come up? She tries to force herself to vomit, only to heave nothing onto the ground. Her whole body feels like it is going to combust; and she grips her head, the phone abandoned on the pavement, still ringing beside her head.

“Ember? What’s up? Is the coffee that terrible?” a moment of silence passes and she can hear his voice change. “...Is everything okay?”

She hears Saeyoung’s voice even though the phone is a foot from her face. The coffee cup rolls toward her, and she can see the faint cloudy green residue at the bottom. “He...lp…S…aeyou...ng” she whispers, holding back the scream that is threatening to rip her apart. She shakes as her body curls into the fetal position on the coffee soaked cement.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Everything sounds so loud, her heart feels like it is going to explode, her head is burning, her body is burning, her eyes are burning…

Why? It hurts…why does it hurt so much?!

“Ember! I’m coming! God, no, I…What happened?! He is frantic, but she can’t hear him. Her mind shuts down as the elixir seeps into her head, and suddenly her mind plummets into painful darkness.

~~

It is so hot.

Her head is so hot.

Her skin tingles, it is cold, and she shivers.

Don’t cry, don’t cry. I’m not dead yet. Saeyoung, don’t cry. It was my fault.

She feels the burning air leave her chest. She screams, and the words won’t come out. She shakes. Her body won’t move. Her blood is burning acid paths through her skin, leaving her body feeling like she is rejecting her own blood.

How long her thoughts remain little more than confirmation that she is alive, she doesn’t know. Time only makes sense after she consciously realizes she can open her eyes. Her body aches, her muscles felt atrophied, and her head still consistently throbbed with a migraine like headache. There is a quiet motor running, and the sound of forced air through tubing, but little other noise sounds in the familiar room. She wants to take off the oxygen cannula that is attached to her face, but she is afraid the machine will alarm if she tries. It is just as well, her arms would not yet answer her mind anyway.

Saeyoung was curled up on the bed beside her. Clutching her hand as if he could be the lifeline she needed to keep breathing. He was asleep, with deep dark circles beneath his eyes. In the dim light of the moon shining through the window, she can see a collection of hospital machines, most of which were no longer in use.

When she turns her head, Saeyoung jerks awake, muttering prayers as he sees her eyes open.

“Thank God, Ember, Ember I am sorry. Please, please hold on.” He is kissing her sweaty brow, brushing the slicked hair from her skin. “I can’t do this alone, just…”

“I…am alive?” She whispers finally. “Certainly…hurts…a lot.” She smiles, watching as Saeyoung scowls, before exhaling a deep sigh of relief.

“Ember…you scared me. I really thought, for a bit there…that you—you were gone.” His voice cracks beneath the oncoming onslaught of violent tears.

She tries her best to maintain the smile, wishing she could run her fingers through the curly red hair she loved so much. When had it grown out that long? She should pay more attention. After several attempts to lift her dead arms, she finally answers, “I couldn’t die yet, even if I wanted to. I have too much left…to do.”

The effort sends her into a very swift and welcomed sleep.

~~

“You really are such a pain,” Vanderwood grumbles as he changes the sheets on the bed, while Saeyoung carries Ember to the bathroom. “You owe me, Seven.”

“Yeah, I do.”

She hides her face, still embarrassed that her legs can hardly hold her up long enough to go to the bathroom. It has been three days, and the toxins in the elixir are slowly wearing off.

“It is okay, I can stand now,” she says as he carries her straight to the filled bath tub.

“Don’t argue, please,” Saeyoung answers, and starts to remove her socks. “You can hardly walk to the bathroom to use the toilet, and even then, remember yesterday morning you ended up sitting in here for three hours because you couldn’t walk back?”

She nods, lifting her arms to allow him to remove the night shirt she had been wearing. It was almost a two days, and she felt helpless. It was frustrating that she had so little strength, and her stomach still rejected solid foods. She had lost considerable weight, even in such a short amount of time, and generally looked terrible. Mostly, she hated that she couldn’t do any research, and that time spent drugged up was wasted.

“I don’t like being helpless. It is really…hard,” She says to no one in particular.  She gets to her feet long enough to get her shirt pulled off. Instinctively she covers her bare chest, which makes her wobble, her knees unable to handle the shift of balance. Saeyoung is quick to respond, wrapping an arm around her torso to steady her, and lead her to sitting on the edge of the tub. “Thanks,” Ember whispers, and tries not to blush as he removes her underwear before helping her into the tub.

He is incredibly gentle, and had been the entire time she was recovering. It really did feel like he was trying to wash a dried leaf, and that she would crumble just as easily. His brows furrow as he runs the wash cloth down her back, and feeling the ridges of her beneath his fingers. “You’re so thin…” he whispers sadly.

“Don’t worry, I plan on eating all of the ice cream in the freezer once I can stomach it,” Ember teases, splashing at some bubbles that float in front of her with a laugh. “Plus, I’ll need to gain weight so MC won’t feel so bad with that baby bump. I’ll be back in no time.”

“I’m serious, Ember,” he sighs, running water down her back to rinse away the soap. “You have no idea…” he pauses, thinking about how he is going to say the next part.

“Hmm?” Ember turns, looking to Saeyoung. His face is a little red, and his brows are still furrowed in thought.

“You looked like an angel when I saw you the first time. I-I mean, you still do, although a sick one,” he scratches his cheek nervously, depositing a clump of suds. “I guess I want to say… I don’t want you to lose any more weight. You don’t eat enough, you don’t sleep enough…You’re just…disappearing. I know…it isn’t intentional, but…Please, just worry about you for a while.”

Ember tears up, “I’ll try.”

“Good, I am going to have to take you out to dinner then, as soon as you can. Maybe I’ll make you eat more Honey Buddha chips and start an IV of Dr. Pepper. Vanderwood always said that stuff would make me fat.” Saeyoung teases, as he grabs the shower head and brings the hose down.

“Ugh, please don’t make me eat like that,” she groans, which makes him laugh. “Really, I’ll try.”

“Good. Now, close your eyes.”

She does so, and can’t help but giggle when he steals a kiss from her parched lips before washing her hair.

~~

It had been almost an hour since she had tried to go back to sleep; the damn stomach cramps and the burning in her legs was relentless. Although it had been nearly a week since the poisoning, she still was recovering, and sometimes, at night especially, it just hurt. Her eyes were heavy, and her brain cried desperately for rest, but no matter how she lay, no matter what pillows were where, she just _hurt_.

The steady breathing of her favorite redhead was the only comfort during the long nights like this. She hated waking him up, or making him feel remotely guilty when she gets little to no sleep, so she just lies there, watching the steady rise and fall of his shirtless back.

She can hear the buzzing of her phone on the bathroom counter, even as she lay in a half sleep. Saeyoung groans, flipping over to wrap an arm around her stomach and curl into her. It pauses, but only for a minute before starting again.

“Leave it,” Saeyoung moans, clutching her tighter. She pulls his arm off her, and sits up, looking at the cat-shaped clock on the bedside table in disbelief.

She stumbles a little, heading to the bathroom, while rubbing her eyes with a yawn. When she picks up the phone, it is Zen’s image that pops up. Immediately it feels like a splash of cold water.

There is only one reason for Zen to call.

“Zen?” She pauses while looking at the clock on her phone, just to make sure what time it was. It was unusual for Zen to call late, but this was ridiculously late. “Zen, it’s 3 in the morning, is everything okay?”

“MC is here. She just had the baby” he said. His voice was shaky and he sounded like he was hyperventilating.

“What? What do you mean she had the baby? She’s not far along enough,” Ember says, feeling a sense of pure dread creep over her. Saeyoung sits up, watching her with a concerned expression as she returns to his side. The trip had her shaking and even more sore, but she couldn’t care less at the moment.

“I know. Something went wrong. We’re still at the hospital,” he said, before muttering a series of names that she presumed was directions to the hospital. Saeyoung was already getting pants on. “Everything went wrong, Ember. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”  He sounded like he was on the verge of a total breakdown; and that idea scared her almost as much as being in possession of the elixir did. “Please come. MC needs you.”

She was already trying to stand again when Saeyoung handed her a handful of clothes, like he didn’t even need to be told that she was planning on going to that hospital even if she had to walk there.

“I’ll put something on and I’ll be on my way” Ember replied. “Is MC okay? Is…is the baby okay?”

“They’re both alive” Zen said, gasping. But he didn’t continue; his voice cracked and was at an odd pitch that didn’t sound like him at all. “Can you… can you bring her some clothes?” Zen asked, taking a deep breath. She could only imagine he was doing his best to keep from losing his shit over the phone. “We just… we came to the hospital so quickly we didn’t bring anything”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll bring her something” she says, trying to keep her own voice from betraying the sense of sorrow she already felt.

“Thank you, Ember” he said. “Thanks.”

“Of course Zen. We’ll be there soon,” She says before hanging up the phone.

“I’ll drive, I already have Zen’s location,” Saeyoung tells her as he helps her change into the tank top and leggings she had worn earlier that day, and adding his famous black and gold sweatshirt over the top. “Wait here, I’ll bring the car around.”

He jogs off toward the garage, and Ember shuffles to the closet, where the bag of baby items sat. She pulls out the blanket and the nursing shirt, grabs an extra pair of soft pajama pants, and one of the still new pair of underwear, before shoving them all into the closest bag she could find. She adds a pair of socks and some slippers before Saeyoung returns and they make their way to the car.

She kicked herself for being unable to help; she should have been working harder! If only she had managed to figure out the program, then maybe MC wouldn’t be suffering like this. How could she be so focused on herself!? She should have been working on deciphering the program and elixir links this whole time. She should have insisted on helping. Being sick is not an excuse.  

How could she be so selfish?

Maybe it was the look on her face that gave her away, but Seven reaches over, checking her seat belt is secure, before taking her hand. “It is okay, we’ll be there soon. It isn’t your fault,” He says, kissing her knuckles and setting her hand back down on her lap. “I’ll get us there as fast as possible.  Just hold on.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man! So this was originally the second half of chapter 12, that ended up having a mind of its own and can almost be split into two chapters as well. 
> 
> So I originally put in the whole period starting thing as a half joke since everyone was talking about it, but then it sorta turned into a really cute scene and I really like it, so I don't know what to think about it now lol. 
> 
> Lots happened, more will happen soon. So yeah, thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had not planned on this being a stand alone chapter, but here we are. A short-ish fluffy filler chapter to pass the time until Val updates and I can write more.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who is reading our work. The comments you leave really brighten my day.

Ember’s body visibly stiffens when she walks through the electric doors leading to the lobby of the hospital. It is like every muscle in her body contracts at once, and her face is set in a stony frown.   
Saeyoung does his best to keep up with her, but she hustles to the elevator, clearly trying to make her trip as quickly as possible. He can’t help but think she is going to overdo things, and that he should have called Zen to warn him of Ember’s condition.

“Ember, are you okay?” Seven asks, stealing a peek at his phone to see if he had any messages from Zen. They pass a map and directory, and Ember doesn’t take more than a passing glance at it. He can tell she is having a hard time, and can’t help but feel just a little helpless in the situation. He just couldn’t tell if it was because of her physical state, or the memory of her family’s tragic passing.

He sees the change in her façade as they approach the elevators; it started with her skin going abnormally pale, then the steady clenching of her left hand, and the shaky exhales of her breath, despite not having exerted herself. By the time the doors opened and the two of them entered, it was very clear.

Something was very wrong.

“Come on, Ember, let me help,” Saeyoung is whispering loudly, as if someone outside of the elevator might hear him. They had to act like they were fine, because no one would let an ill woman near MC in the condition she and the baby were in. “I know she is your friend, but I really think she would kill us both if she knew you were pushing yourself like this.”

She groans against the wall of the elevator as her knees threaten to buckle beneath her. Every ounce of strength is being used; between attempting to make her way as quickly as possible, ignoring that she is in the one place in the world she’d rather never see again, and that her body is steadily shutting down on her, she is growing ever aware that she is at her limit.

But Ember was stubborn, and if she was going to come to MC’s aid, she was going to do it on her own two feet. “I’m fine.”

She feels the muscles in her jaw contract as another jolt of pain shakes her body, and she heaves herself upright, only stumbling a little as the elevator comes to a stop. Saeyoung doesn’t seem to know what to do besides follow closely behind her, ready to catch her if her legs do finally give out.

It is a strange thought really, being this devoted to someone else’s wellbeing, despite not knowing them for long. He can’t believe he would be willing to do almost anything for her, even if she didn’t know it.

No, not almost anything. His eyes trail up her shaking calves as she walks along the corridor, when the thought comes to mind like a hurricane.

He would die for her.

Sweat is beading on her forehead as she walks as confidently as possible to the nurses’ station. “Hi, I’m sorry, I’m here for MC. My name is Ember. Her boyfriend said she was here.”

The nurse eyes her a moment before looking into the computer screen. “You’ll need to wait in the waiting room for a bit, she’s not available at the moment. Someone will come get you when she is ready for visitors.” The nurse says rather curtly.

“Okay, thank you.” Ember turns, looking for the sign for the waiting room, and walking slowly toward the door. “Come on, I’m sure Zen will find us.”

“Yeah, that isn’t what I am worried about,” Seven sighs, taking her hand in some weak attempt to steady the quaking body. “Ember, will you at least sit?”

“Yes, I’ll sit when I see MC,” Ember answers in a breathy, pained whisper, which almost whistles through her clenched teeth. Even through her hand, Seven can feel the shake of her body. She’s struggling to keep her pain in check, while simultaneously acting like she’s fine and her body isn’t on the verge of falling to the overly-sterile hospital floor.

“Ember, sit. I’ll find Zen.”

She glares at Saeyoung, but can’t stay angry long; such a pained, helpless look is painted on his face. She sighs, dropping into a less than comfortable chair and resting her forehead in her hand. “Okay. I’m sorry Saeyoung. I left my phone, so I can’t call him.”

Saeyoung has his phone out and is typing away in a heartbeat.  “There, I told him we’re here. Now stay sitting, I’m going to get you something to drink.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

“Drink anyway.” He says, leaving the waiting room and heading down the hall.

“What am I doing?” she asks herself, wiping the sweat from her face with a tissue. She pulls the small blanket from the bag, running the ruffled edges through her fingers.

There’s so little hope for that baby girl. She knew it. She wanted to believe that there was a chance, but even if she lives, how much damage has been done to that tiny thing, now that she’s been brought into the world far too soon? Will she live a normal life?

A tear drops down onto the fabric and she quickly blots it up with her shirt. She can’t let that baby’s first impression of her be that she cried! She promised MC that she would take care of her child, and showing weakness right off the bat is not the right way to go about it.

Saeyoung returns a moment later with a bottle of water and a can of soda for himself. “Ember,” He says, kneeling in front of her. Her hands are clenching onto the blanket so tightly her skin is going almost blue. “Ember, can you do something for me?”

Her eyes dart to his. He is worried. She’s making him worry; she doesn’t like that. Then again, it is…nice, just once, to be the one worried about. Her hands relax a little, and her hacker places the small blanket back into the bag. “Will you…will you pray with me? I know, it isn’t your thing, but, just this once, okay?”

Ember nods and he takes her hands in his. His voice is soft and quiet as he utters the words, and she isn’t sure who exactly he is praying for, or to.

_“What have I got to lose?”_ She thinks to herself, as she watches Seven’s lips move in whispered prayer. She wants to believe it will do something; that someone somewhere will listen to their pleas, so in the depths of her mind she prays.

_Hey God, um, it’s me. I’m sorry I don’t really know what’s going on. But if you are listening, please watch over them; MC, her baby, Saeyoung, Zen, all of them. They deserve to be happy and healthy, and I’m not strong enough to do it on my own. It is selfish to ask so much, but please…_

She watches Saeyoung finish his prayer, and look up at her with a smile. “Thank you,” He whispers, kissing her hands before opening her bottle of water and handing it to her. “Drink, you need to keep hydrated.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Ember mutters, sipping the water and staring out the window to the hospital staff walking by.

~~

_“What do you think it feels like?” MC asks as they lay on the floor of her room. Ember is right beside her, reading some book as they wait for their favorite show to come on the television. It had been a while, but ever since the death of her family, Ember has been so distant and so unwilling to rely on the extended family that had been her safety net. Ember refused to go out with their mutual friends, even declined several attempts to set her up with the guy she had been crushing on for years. Sometimes it was like she really didn’t want to feel anything anymore._

_“I don’t know,” she mumbles, turning the page._

_“Come on, you’re always reading those stories, what do you think it feels like?” MC prods, flipping over and poking her friend playfully. “It isn’t like we’re kids anymore. What do you think it feels like to be with a guy? And I don’t mean like_ that _, I mean…you know, in love.”_

_Ember sighs, a deep blush peppering her face as she closes the book and looks at her friend. “I don’t know. I haven’t even had a boyfriend yet. What makes you think I would know anyway?”_

_“Seems pretty important and normal for girls our age to wonder,” MC giggles. “I mean, there are songs and poems, plays and epics all written about love, but really how accurate is any of it? How does it really feel?”_

_“You sound abnormally introspective,” Ember sighs, picking up the book again._

_“No, really, I want to know what you think.” MC grumbles, closing the book on Ember and tossing it onto the nearby chair. “What do you think it will feel like?”_

_Ember sits up, pushing her glasses up on her nose. “Honestly?”_

_MC nods, and Ember looks at her straight in the eyes. “I think it will hurt. I think it will hurt more than any other pain in existence. It will hurt so much you will want nothing else but to feel the sting and burn, and feel empty without it.”_

_The stunned look in MC’s face makes Ember’s head tilt curiously, “What?”_

_“Just sounded surprisingly poetic coming from a 17 year old that hasn’t thought about love before,” MC teases, tossing a pillow at her friend. “And terribly painful.”_

_“I think it will be. But that is why you do it, to make the pain less for those you love. If it is so surprising, why did you ask?”_

_“Because I wanted you to realize that you need love; and I think you will find someone to love you.” MC smiles, taking up the TV remote and flipping on the show. “You know, cuz I care.”_

_“Yeah, I noticed,” Ember grumbles, but can’t help a faint smile from creeping on her lips._

~~

“She’s asleep?” Vanderwood asks over the phone. Saeyoung looks over his shoulder, through the window looking in on the waiting room. Ember is curled up beneath his sweatshirt, shivering despite the fact that the room was warm.

“Yeah, but…I don’t think she should be here.” Saeyoung sighs, running a hand through his hair. “She doesn’t look good. I don’t know what is going on, but she isn’t recovering as fast as I did.”

“She has a different body than you, Seven,” Vanderwood replies sarcastically. “Really, she’s a strong woman, I’m sure she’ll pull through.”

“I hope you’re right,” Saeyoung replies. “I hate to say it, but she may be more stubborn than I am. It is slowly killing her. I don’t think I have been this scared in my life.”

“You idiot, thinking you’re so smart and your genius brain can figure it all out. You’ve been trained not to be attached to other people, so of course it is terrifying,” the older agent laughs, and sounds distinctly intoxicated. “And she _is_ more stubborn than you are, but that is why your sorry ass is alive right now.”

“Yeah, I know,” He watches as her eyebrows bunch in pain, then relax with a shiver.

“So treat her like it. I still mean it, I will beat your ass and take her away if you dare to hurt her again,” Vanderwood threatens.

“What do I do then? What _can_ I do?” Seven hesitates, and watches a nurse intently as she pauses in front of the waiting room, before continuing down the hall. “She is too good; at this rate, she’ll burn up and disappear before…”

The sigh on the other end of the line stops him from continuing. “Seven, listen to me. I’ve known you a long time, right? I know you better than you think. You already know what to do and how to do it. You think you are messing up, that you failed your brother and now you are somehow afraid of losing Ember too, right?”

Seven unconsciously nods yes, even though Vanderwood couldn’t possibly have hacked into the hospital security system to see it. “You think you somehow will continue failing, despite being a natural at almost everything else you’ve ever done in your life.”

“But failed at the parts that were important,” the redhead answers with a thud of his head against the wall. “What if she doesn’t get better? What if everything she said was true? That she is really dead on the other side, and if she dies here…”

“Stop. Stop right there.” Vanderwood shouts. “Enough of that! She won’t die. You have to be stronger than that! If you can’t take it, then maybe you don’t deserve her!”

“I don’t.”

The words were a whisper, but he couldn’t deny they were genuine. She is too good, he will destroy her.

But at the same time, he has found an angel; he has tasted the sweet forbidden love of a being that should never have set her sights anywhere near him. Now, he could never live without it, without her. He had dared, at long last, to dream of a future where he could be happy, where he could have hopes and aspirations. He had dared at last to live.

“Now I have everything secured here, and cameras are locked in like you said, so don’t worry, I’m keeping an eye out.” Vanderwood yawns and Seven can imagine him putting his dirty booted feet up on his desk, barely missing the keyboard and probably knocking off the empty chip bags in the process. “I will let you know if I see any problems. So far, you’re clear.”

“Thanks. And…I guess…sorry too.” He smiles a little, and turns to the door.

“For what? Being a pain in the ass?”

Saeyoung chuckles quietly, “no, and I am offended you think I am an ass,” he focuses on the form beneath the sweatshirt, and feels the tickle of butterflies in his stomach. “I am sorry because I know you feel something for her too, and she probably didn’t realize it.”

“And we are going to keep it that way. I’ve made a fool of myself already, I don’t want to ruin things further,” Vanderwood groans as the sounds of the nice computer chair creaks. “Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do since you are off playing Prince Charming with the princess.”

“Yeah, sure you do. Don’t smoke in my office.” He hangs up the phone, shoving it in his pocket before returning to Ember’s side.

It doesn’t take much adjusting to get her huddled up against him; even in a public place like this, the feeling of her breathing against him is more comfort than anything else. With her close, he can protect her from further harm. With her there, she can’t just fade away, leaving him alone.

Perhaps in a way he is blessed then, that she doesn’t disappear when she sleeps. The thought makes him feel suddenly very sorry for Zen, as he can understand just a fraction of the sort of pain that separation from the one you love would cause.

Yeah, he can admit it. He loves her. He hasn’t been able to voice it yet, despite desperately wanting to. He also knew the irrational fear he had of uttering those words out loud; he was afraid that if the universe heard that he loved her, that she would be taken away too. He couldn’t bring himself to even imagine what it would feel like to watch the light fade from her eyes, like stars dying in the distant night sky. He refused to think of it.

He gently wipes away the sweat from her face and neck, before relaxing beneath her weight. Ember groans as her shoulders tense with, what he could assume was another wave of pain. He wished he could take the pain from her; he would relive it again and again if it meant not seeing her suffer. There are so many things he wanted to do still, so many things he had wished for them both; she can’t die yet, she just can’t.

The blanket Ember bought for the baby was sitting on top of the bag, in plain view; Ember had been so excited to show it to him. He didn’t give it much thought at the time, but now, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was her way of living through MC a little. Then, if that was the case, would she want a family with him? Would they ever be parents? Would they face the same terrible heartbreak that Zen and MC are facing? Could they overcome it? They had been through so much already; would it simply break them then, or could they use the battle scars and mental strength to push through?

Ember could; she is the strongest between the two of them. Saeyoung imagines her with a big round belly, smiling with such a glow about her that he can’t help but laugh to himself. He imagines tiny little redheads playing with the robot dog, too wired up on soda and chips, while Ember chases them around yelling about not jumping on the furniture, or stop programing the phones in the house to play the theme song from their favorite shows, but in Arabic.

She would make a wonderful mother.

He picks up her hand and gently kissing her ring finger. He smiles, thinking of what she would look like in all white, beneath the beams of sunlight through stained glass windows, with everyone from the RFA there, including MC and the baby. Zen could sing for them, and Jumin would probably provide the best chefs and catering. Yoosung would probably try and do some sort of bachelor party for him, and Zen would definitely make it raunchier. He’d have to ask Jaehee to help MC with Ember’s…bride stuff, whatever that may entail. Maybe the little tyke could be the flower girl?

He kisses the top of her head, and prays again that if God has not forsaken him yet, to allow Ember to get better, and he would do everything in his power to keep her safe and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Thank you for sticking around!
> 
> Between family stuff on my end, and Val having life happening too, we have been unable to post, but don't worry, we haven't forgotten, and we haven't died! Thanks again for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a somewhat short chapter, just to get me going again. Sorry it is a bit late!

She had seen the look on Zen’s face through the reflection of the glass in front of them. She wasn’t so foreign to parenthood to know that look; it was the expression of impending loss. He was struggling to keep his face tamed to a neutral expression, but the small abnormal lines forming at the corners of his lips and the twitch in his eyes gave it away. Zen was hurting deeper than even Ember could imagine.

Her eyes traveled back to the tiny baby in the room before her. She was so small, so fragile, like she was made of soft clay that even the smallest touch would somehow break her malleable body. Miyoung has Zen’s hair, but Ember would bet she has MC’s eyes too. From her position, Miyoung looks like a doll, hardly moving except for the steady, albeit shaky breaths through the machine. Ember watched in total disbelief as that baby’s tiny tummy rose and fell, her little head tilted to the side with the weight of the breathing tubes, and her finger-sized arms and legs lashed and punctured with IV’s and tape.

“Zen, if you two need anything…” Ember starts to say, knowing full well she couldn’t give them what they wanted; their baby. Zen doesn’t answer, only muttering something before turning away.

Ember watched Zen return to the room, and felt what little fake strength she had disappear with him. “Ember…” Saeyoung whispered, looking in the window at the small creature still struggling for her life. “She’ll make it, right?”

Ember gripped his hand with what strength she could muster. “I hope so.” She feels her legs begin to buckle and she leans as nonchalantly as possible on the wall. “Miyoung, hold on, okay? Everyone is waiting for you.”

She felt weird. She wanted to go back to the room and make sure MC was okay, make sure she didn’t need anything, make sure she changed clothes and ate. She wanted to take care of her friend at her darkest hour, like MC had done for her.

But she somehow knew, after looking at those tired eyes earlier, that MC probably wasn’t there. She must have fallen asleep by now.

“Ember, let’s go home.” Saeyoung pulls her hand, standing her upright a little too fast, and she stumbles into his chest a little. “You need to rest.”

“But she needs me-“

“No, she has Zen.” Saeyoung replied sternly. “You are barely standing, and I can’t let you collapse again. You need to be strong for her, and right now she would probably die if you did. MC wouldn’t be so passive if she knew you were this sick, she’d be furious.  Do you think MC would be okay with you collapsing again? Because I certainly am not.”

He was stern, and it was a little scary. “I’m sorry,” Ember whispers, looking in at the little patch of white hair, before bundling her sweater closer to her body. “Okay…let’s go home.”

Saeyoung leads the way to the elevator, completely silent. His face was blank but stiff, like he was trying to think through some problem without letting anyone know. Is he trying to figure out a way to help? She wondered if Zen had said something to him, or if the whole situation was just weighing on him.

_“I have to do something… I can’t leave Miyoung and Zen. What if… what if she… doesn’t make it and I am not here?”_

MC’s words pierced her heart as she remembered the pleading eyes of her best friend just a handful of minutes before. MC was so desperate, she was so lost, and Ember didn’t know what to do. She’d need to work on that program; MC certainly would be trying something on her end…Ember just hoped it was safer than the Elixir.

Or simply suicide.

The idea of MC taking her own life made her eyes stream with unwarranted tears. Even though she knew the only guaranteed method of staying on one side or the other was death, and it was her choice, the utter thought of it was terrifying. Not that she would wish someone else to take her life, but…

In MC’s position, she’d probably do the same thing.

She thought briefly of MC’s mom, and felt a little bad that MC would be leaving her without much explanation as to what was going on. Knowing her, she probably didn’t believe what MC was telling her, and was thinking MC was going crazy anyway. It didn’t make the idea any better, but at least it would be less of a shock to MC’s mom when it does happen.

Because Ember knew; it was a ‘when’ not an ‘if’. It would be a matter of time before she’d try to come back on her own. Time that Ember felt was running out.

“I need your computer,” Ember says as they reach the parking structure. Ember resolved herself to stay up working on the program, what was the worst that could happen? If it gave even a little bit of help to bring MC safely home (because really, this was home to them both now), then whatever strains on her own body were worth it. Maybe Saeyoung had some extra soda somewhere, or she should just make a lot of coffee…

She had been so lost in thought she hardly noticed her knees barely keeping her upright. With a loud thud that makes Saeyoung run to her side, she stumbles and falls onto a sedan next to her. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Saeyoung picks her up bridal style, and walks the last few cars to his. “Don’t wiggle, or I’ll drop you.”

He rummages through his pockets for the keys. Ember’s eyes skirt his shoulder, to the bright and shiny sport’s car behind him. Her body felt heavy, and her joints felt as if they were made of wet sand. She didn’t know how much more she could stand, but she needed to, in order to save MC. It wasn’t an option to give up.

A small flash of blue light caught her attention. It was tiny, like the light on a cell phone, but the part that concerned her was where it was. The light was about where the muffler connected to the undercarriage. She wonders for a moment if she just saw things; after all she is exhausted, perhaps she just imagined it. She stares, thinking about chastising herself for her paranoia when it flashes again.

“Saeyoung, stop.”

“I need my keys, I can’t open—“

“No, seriously, we need to get help. Something is wrong,” She mutters, focusing on the spot where the light was. “You don’t have any surveillance stuff under your car, right?”

He spins around, making Ember’s head swim a moment. “No, just the backup camera…”

“Something is blinking under there…” she whispers, looking over his shoulder and scanning the unpopulated car park. There were several cars on this level, but no people. They had picked this level intentionally, hoping that hiding among the fancy cars the doctors owned would disguise his rather distinguished sports car. “Saeyoung, we need to get out of here,” She whispers. “Something feels very wrong.”

He doesn’t wait at all, heading straight to the open stairwell with Ember tightly held to his chest. His eyes are darting from place to place, and his heart rate is surprisingly slow and paced, his muscles tense and relax just as quickly, as if his whole body is responding to everything.

It is like his secret agent persona is alive.

“Call the police,” He whispers, handing her a totally different phone. This was an old Nokia, with patches of duct tape on the back, where he had obviously done some modifications to it. “Tell them there is a suspicious vehicle in the hospital parking structure. Then call Vanderwood and tell him he’s fired.”

“Saeyoung, Vanderwood isn’t at fault-“

“He was supposed to have this place watched,” he growls back, holding her tight enough is fingers dug into her. “Now do it, I’ll get us somewhere safe.”

Ember’s chest tightens as she hears the seriousness in his voice, but does as he said. Was it a bomb? Surely people didn’t do that these days, right? But what other thing could it have been?

When she hung up the phone, they were on the roof. Saeyoung’s body was like a shield, and he carefully placed her in a secured area between a support beam and what was likely one of the air conditioner units.

“Stay here. Do. Not. Move.” He tells her, reaching into his pocket to remove yet another device, and something she knew was one of his homemade stun guns. “If you see anyone, press pound-1-3. That will signal Vanderwood, and backup will arrive,” he whispers, making sure she still has the ancient phone in her hands. “If you don’t have time for that,” He rips the tape off the back to show a metal card, the size of a driver’s license. “This is a card knife. Careful with it.” He shows her how the corners fold out and form a razor thin blade. “I’ll be right back.”

She nodded, knowing that he was doing what he thought was best. Inside she really didn’t want to be alone.

He kisses her once before disappearing.

_What is going on?_

The wind and muffled sound of the city below are all that she can hear, and despite the bright spotlights that light up the roof, she feels totally in the dark. She tries to calm her breathing, to make it as silent as possible, and draw her legs up close to her body. Don’t move, just wait. He’ll come back. You aren’t actually alone…

Somewhere the metal doors leading to the roof open up, the sound is obnoxiously loud compared to the white noise she had been focusing on. The metal on metal grinding and squealing makes her skin crawl and her heart jump to her throat.

She can hear heavy footsteps, slow, but obviously not attempting to stay quiet. They are too heavy, and they are not coming directly toward her…

It isn’t Saeyoung. It isn’t a police officer. It took some hacking to get the door open in the first place, not much, but some, and it was relocked when the door shut. So whoever this is has some of the same talents or the same equipment that Saeyoung does.

Someone like that could easily have tricked the security feed and made Vanderwood think he was watching live when he wasn’t.

The footsteps pass on the other side of the air conditioner. Thump, thump, turn. Thump, thump, thump…

Ember stops breathing, and her hand clamps over her own mouth to stop any sound. The phone in her hand feels too hot, but at the same time, her fingers are so tight around it that she’s momentarily afraid of crushing it. Carefully she pulls out the metal card, and is about to hit the first key when she remembered it made a sound when she dialed the phone earlier.

The person on the roof is close enough they could hear it if she tried to alert anyone.

“Come out, come out. I know you’re here, Ember.”

Her eyes widened when the male voice resonated and echoed off the metal constructs on the roof. She didn’t think she’d ever have to hear this voice ever again.

“I told you, didn’t I? It would only be a matter of time…” The laugh is what finally struck her. Even in another dimension she can’t be freed from him!

She fumbles with the knife, struggling to open the blade as the footsteps drew nearer. “Come on, I won’t hurt you…unless you struggle.”

Where is Saeyoung? How did they miss each other? Is he okay?

The sound of sirens around the parking structure make Ember’s head ring, and shatters what logical reasoning and thought she had. Adrenaline courses through her, and for the first time in weeks, she stopped feeling the weakness in her body.

The knife was in one hand, the phone in the other. Maybe she could make it to the stairwell if she could accurately judge how far away he was. The wind picking up was not helping her hearing, and now he was trying to be quiet. She could hear his boots grind the fine gravel that coated the rooftop tiles. Her feet would make just as much noise, so she couldn’t sneak there, she’d have to just run and hope she could outrun him this time.

“Eeeemberrrrrr~” the voice calls with a sinister laugh. “Come on, you really don’t want to fight this. We can go to Paradise together! You and me! You can ditch that stupid redhead and his stupid car; it won’t bother you soon. I know you don’t like flashy things,” the stalker’s voice calls. She can imagine him ducking and trying to jump to view of her potential hiding spot. He is trying to catch her off guard.

_Saeyoung_ …

She swallows the lump in her sandpaper dry throat, and inhales deeply. The footsteps are between her hiding spot and where she remembered the door being. Ember wished she had been paying more attention to her surroundings when she got here.

Her brain sped through the options; stay hidden and hope Seven returns, peek over the AC unit to see where the stalker is, throw something in a direction to get him distracted long enough to run back…

“I really don’t want to do this, Ember, but you’re leaving me no choice…” the stalker sighs dramatically, and his footsteps stop. “If you do not show yourself I will blow up this whole damn parking structure, and take everyone in it with me, including your precious hacker.”

Is he bluffing? Is he really smart enough to rig the bomb to Saeyoung’s car?

Is there really any other choice?

She shoves her hands into the pockets of her sweater. She couldn’t risk anyone else getting hurt, even if it meant her own life being forfeit. Ember didn’t know how strong the bomb was, or how many there were, and the thought that it could take out the nearby hospital, with Zen and little Miyoung, along with all of those innocent people that are unaware of the situation.

A deep rumble shakes the building; the resonating quake makes her head swim. The sound was fast, but the ringing in her head continued for what felt like minutes.

“What the—“

The stalker grumbles from only feet away. Ember sits as still as possible, listening to the thump of her heartbeat. He isn’t walking around, but she hears the click of some button, repeatedly being mashed.

“What the fuck! They couldn’t have found it!” the stalker growls. “Ember! Why do you have to ruin our happiness!?”

She stays silent as the sound of a helicopter floods the white noise of the city.

The stalker starts ranting loudly, punching the metal constructs on the roof in desperate anger, and running around still looking for Ember among the shadowed spaces.

A search light pierces the darkness, pointing away from Ember to the west. It stays there, moving only slightly with the sound of the stalker’s heavy footsteps. Ember can’t spot what label the helicopter has printed on the side, but she can tell it is dark colored.

“Hold it,” a familiar voice demands. Ember almost cries in relief, and peeks out of her hiding spot for the first time. Vanderwood has a gun to the back of the stalker’s head. He had gotten there in time, but where is Saeyoung?

“I am going to say this ONE TIME.” Vanderwood reaches for wrist restraints in his leather coat. “Do not move, or I will have no problem putting a bullet in your head. You messed with the wrong girl.”

The stalker groans in defeat as two more black-clad men burst through the door and rush him, commanding him to his knees, where Vanderwood lashes his hands together. “Get the bastard out of here,” the agent orders. The other men drag the stalker away kicking and screaming Ember’s name.

Any strength Ember had in her body escapes her at that moment, and she crumbles into a sobbing mess.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Vanderwood’s calm voice hushes her, and he wastes no time picking her up. “We got him, and he’ll never, ever, get to you again,” he rocks her back and forth a little, till her tears stop and she has no energy left even to cry. “I am sorry, Ember.”

She couldn’t answer. She didn’t know what to answer. Her mind was totally blank, aside from a still image of Saeyoung’s face.

Vanderwood strokes her hair, now feeling more ashamed for his misstep than before. He notices the shake in her body grow worse, and maneuvers his coat off to cover her a little. She was so weak, so scared, and he could only imagine how lost she must feel.

“Okay princess, we’re going down now. Hold on, okay?” Vanderwood brushes her hair from her face, and looks into her pale, sweat-coated face. It makes his heart ache, knowing that she probably barely registers his presence; she is probably only thinking about Seven.

Vanderwood carries her down the stairwell, wanting nothing more than to make sure she was safe. If it wasn’t for the fact that her eyes were open, he would have assumed Ember had passed out. She was silent, staring into nothing, shivering beneath his jacket. “I promise nothing will happen to you,” he whispers as they reach the ground floor, and head to a black SUV.

“Vanderwood!” Saeyoung calls, leaping from the back seat. “You found her, thank god.”

Saeyoung had been the one to remove the bomb, as none of the bomb team could disable the device. He was covered in dark soot and dirt, which had mixed with sweat and formed a dark paste on parts of his face. He had also managed to get back into the surveillance system in time to see Ember’s stalker looking for her on the roof. At the same time, he planted information that indicated that the stalker was also a terrorist, just to make sure the agency took it seriously.

Really, Vanderwood can’t blame Ember for falling for the genius. He really was superhuman; not that knowing this made Vanderwood’s heart ache any less.

Vanderwood seats her in the SUV, and waits for Saeyoung to inspect her. He knew Seven needed to see for himself that she was okay, so he didn’t even bother to say that she was.

“How did the bastard get through?” Saeyoung mutters as he bundles her up with a gray woolen blanket. “I don’t understand, did he…”

“Maybe with the elixir,” Vanderwood answers. “There is a chance that he could have memorized the recipe and recreated it. Or…he could have just killed himself and was shunted back here.”

Seven doesn’t reply, only pats down the wrinkles in her blanket and buckles her into the seat.

“Seven, she’ll be okay.” Vanderwood says, patting his friend’s shoulder.

“I should have known better,” Saeyoung says quietly. “I should have been better, but I wasn’t.”

“No one could have known the bastard would get through,” Vanderwood says. “We got him, and I’ll make sure he talks.”

“Thanks again,” Saeyoung sighs as he watches Ember’s eyes flutter shut and her breathing even out. “I want all the information you get from him.”

“Of course. I’ll will have a fun time introducing him to our facilities.” Vanderwood grins, trying to lift the dark mood a little. “He won’t leave alive, Saeyoung. And with what work you did, the agency will definitely have issues with him.”

“If I had more time, I would have made him look worse than just a terrorist,” Saeyoung grumbles. He climbs in to the vehicle, sitting as close to his girl as he could. “Okay, let’s get out of here. She needs to rest.”

“You got it,” the agent replies, before getting in the driver’s seat and heading out of the city center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had planned on having a chapter out the day after Val's recent chapter, and that didn't happen. I ended up in the hospital and only got out yesterday. Sorry it took a bit longer, but I will do my best to get caught up in the storyline.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting so patiently!  
> I have had some awful luck lately that has set me back a bit in writing. As a result, I have put in a lot of time busting out this chapter today, so please enjoy.

He was stammering while lashed down to the lone chair in the room. Vanderwood had done a good job preventing the stalker from moving around, even in the dark, confined sanctuary of the hidden interrogation room in one of many secret agency hide outs that dotted the city.

 

A single light bulb hung haphazardly from the bare cement ceiling. There were no windows, only one grate that led to an insulated ventilation system. The walls and ceiling were constructed of many layers of cement and soundproofing materials, not painted, left dark gray and featureless. The floors matched the walls, featuring only a singular large drain in the middle of the slightly slanted room.

 

There was no comfort here, no warmth, no friendliness; just cold cement and two chairs, a single rusted chain that lay lifeless on the floor, and the one door leading out of the room.

 

“So explain again, coward, why you tried to blow up Ember,” Vanderwood growls, leaning against the cold wall. It was perhaps the cool cement that kept him from simply dealing with the man right then. A raging hate was in his heart, and all he could see was the fear and emptiness in Ember's eyes as he brought her down from the parking structure.

 

The stalker laughs mockingly, his eyes wild and staring into the light bulb like a fly to flame. He mutters again beneath his breath, before his head slumps over to watch the agent. “She's mine.”

 

Vanderwood inhales, trying his best to hide the anger and hatred beneath a feigned cool exterior. “She is no more yours than mine, coward.”

 

He laughs again, his eyes narrowing. “Hah, you poor man! She has captured you too!” he laughs as if this is the funniest thing in the world. “It is a shame, she belongs to me, the Savior promised me.”

 

“The savior is dead, you raving idiot,” Vanderwood grumbles, feeling his patience running thinner by the moment. “I shot her myself. She made everyone sick in the head, she was the villain if I ever saw one.”

 

“Oh, I know it was you. But it wasn't your decision, it was not your call,” the stalker giggles. “It was that redhead, that stupid, worthless, liar you work with! He has to pay for what he's done; Mister Ray and the Savior said so.”

 

Vanderwood can't help the reaction; with one swift motion, he plants one gloved fist into the man's face. The loon just laughs as the blood begins to pour from his broken nose. “The savior is dead because she attacked someone else, you stupid, ignorant twat,” he growls. “Zero Seven didn't want to kill her, he tried his best not to. I made that call; and the world is better for it.”

 

“She's mine. She is promised to me. Mr. Ray said she's mine, The Savior said she's mine, and after she died, the Savior said she's mine!”the stalker lunges forward, restrained by the chair and the mostly hidden chain that keeps it firmly on the ground. “You have no right to take her from me!”

 

“I have every right,” Vanderwood grumbles, leaning in to the stalker's face. The agent couldn't hold back the anger anymore. “There are few things in this world that are as beautiful as that girl—no, that woman. Few things that are as selfless and dedicated as she is, and someone as foul and dirty as you will never, ever get their hands on her.”

 

The stalker grins, spitting blood at the agent that loomed over him. “Then she'll die alone, because you don't qualify, and that oh-so-special so-called-genius don't either.”

 

With a loud smack, another punch, this time to the chest. A resounding crunch of ribs fill the space, followed by a choking laugh. “Jealous much, mister prince in black leather? Think you will win the princess if you try hard enough? That isn't how life works! She's mine because I stole her first. She's mine because I put into motion the wheels that fate used to bring her here!” the stalker coughs, bubbling blood from his lips as Vanderwood wails on him again, leaving a split across his left cheek and his eye swollen. “She is mine because I deserve her.”

 

Vanderwood's hand hurts from the strikes, but it is numb compared to the pure hate that he feels for this man. He doesn't even realize the information he's getting, just that he is being provoked, and there is no one around to stop him.

 

“She'll never be yours,” Vanderwood growls as he winds up for another swing.

 

“That's enough,” a voice calls from the door. Seven walks in, now cleaned up and wearing clothes more appropriate for the situation. His usual jeans are replaced by black, standard issue cargo pants, each pocket filled with tools of his trade; a matching black, high collared shirt with long sleeves replaces the bright colored shirts. As he enters, he is pulling on tightly fitted, but well worn in black leather gloves, and his eyes are dark with a deeply buried burning possessiveness, that struggles to be as relentless as Vanderwood. “Thank you, mister. I think your usefulness is about used up!”

 

The older agent steps back, running the cleaner of his hands through his sweat matted hair. “He's crazy, Zero Seven. Completely bonkers.”

 

“Oh, I don't think so.” Seven answers as he slides into the spare chair, folding his hands deliberately in his lap and staring squarely into the eyes of the bloodied captive before him. Oh, he had wanted to take the first swing, but he knew that Ember wouldn't have wanted him to; she was too pure to realize how many people he's had to do this routine with, and he didn't want to tell her. “I think he is quite smart actually. He managed to memorize the elixir's components and recreate it in Ember's dimension. I am sure there is little more than coincidence that led me to her, but this...creature is not that crazy.”

 

Vanderwood snorts and goes about wiping the blood from his gloved hand.

 

“Now then, what is your name?” Saeyoung asks simply. “After all, you won, did you not? Clearly you have been instrumental in orchestrating her presence here, and in that way, you _created_ her here; so that makes you, essentially her god, does it not?”

 

“Why should I tell you, Liar.”

 

Seven stares at him, emotionless on the surface, restraining the twitch in his body that screams to just let loose and destroy this threat. “Can I not know the name of the one who defeated me? Isn't that half of the fun? To make me live with the knowledge that you beat the Hacker God?”

 

The captive laughs, spitting out a mouthful of blood afterword. “Joseph,” he starts. “Joseph Kim.”

 

“Well then, Joseph, congratulations on your victory. You've won the princess.” Seven can almost not hold back the sarcasm and seething hate in his voice. “So tell me, how did you win a game I didn't know I was playing? In the future I do not wish to lose.”

 

Joseph straightens himself in his chair a little, smiling a wicked smile that even makes Seven's stomach churn. No wonder Ember was afraid of him.

 

“Mister Ray was a good teacher. Maybe you aren't as good as you think you are. Maybe what you know isn't so accurate,” Joseph sneers. “Maybe you don't know it all.”

 

“Clearly.” Seven pulls the glove down on his left hand, just to give his twitching fingers something to do that doesn't involve striking this evil existence from the planet. Ember would not want him to kill someone, even if it was to protect her. “So what am I missing then, Mister Joseph “Better Than Me” Kim?”

 

“Hah, you think being nice is going to get me to talk?” Joseph laughs, choking a bit on the fluids pouring from his broken nose. “You are wrong. You always are. You just don't know it yet!”

 

“Then how about this, I will give you one chance to walk out of here,” Seven says out loud, while praying in his mind to forgive his sin as he lies. “Tell me who is attacking Ember, and I'll let you go.”

 

Joseph leans back in his chair, smugly snarling and muttering to himself. “The Savior,” he starts, “is the one after my prize. The Savior is going to send her with me; she is mine, and the Savior is going to give us both to Paradise.”

 

“Your Savior is dead, Joseph.” Seven answers with a defeated sigh.

 

Joseph's lips turn into an even more sinister smile, “Perhaps, Seven, that is where you're wrong.”

 

~~

Ember didn't want him to leave.

 

The heavy stun-gun lay in her lap, the weight of it holding her down on the bed in Seven's room as she stared out the window into the early morning light. Little had broken her silence aside from the momentary thoughts to try and reach out to Zen to make sure the little tyke was alright; all calls she placed to him were sent to voicemail. She had told herself it was nothing to worry about; after all, he was a new father, surely he was spending time with his daughter and trying to make up some excuse as to why MC was missing.

 

It didn't help calm her anxious heart. All she could see in her mind was the stalker's wild eyes and the cracking cackling laugh that erupted from his throat.

 

That man was dangerous, unpredictable, and had knowledge beyond what Saeyoung could muster. She didn't want her lover anywhere near him; yet he insisted it was necessary in order for her to be safe again. She pleaded with Saeyoung to stay with her, to let Vanderwood handle the interrogation, every excuse except that she was scared and wanted him to just hold her till she felt safe again.

 

Instead, he left, promising to be back by morning, even throwing in one of his quips about having hot chips and coffee for breakfast when he gets home, just to try and make her think of anything else. It didn't work.

 

As the sun starts to set the dark heavens to a pale morning blue, she reached for her phone, trying again to call Zen at the hospital to no avail.

 

_Yoosung will be sleeping before class. MC is back in the other dimension. Jaehee would probably be awake, but I hardly know her..._

 

Her phone vibrates in her hand, and she is elated to see it is Vanderwood.

 

“Hey princess, how are you holding up?” He asks quietly.

 

“I... I am okay, I guess,” Ember answers with a shaky sigh. “How are...um things going there?”

 

“Seven says it is going to be a while till we find out everything from this guy. He's a real number, I'll tell ya. I'm glad you are okay, 'cuz this guy is a total whack job.” Vanderwood sounds tired, but Ember tries her best not to make note of it. “It doesn't matter I guess. Nothing is gonna get him out of trouble now. You have nothing to worry about.”

 

“Okay. Thanks,” Ember sighs, not really feeling any more comforted. “So...when is Seven...um coming home?”

 

“That's why I'm calling,” Vanderwood sighs. “I'm sorry princess. He says he can't come home now, not when the information he wants is so close.”

 

“I understand,” She mutters automatically.

 

“Doesn't make it easier, but I am glad.” Vanderwood sighs again. “He said he has arranged to have you stay at a friend's place today. Said you'd appreciate the company and something about an Elly.”

 

“I...what?”

 

Vanderwood sounds somewhat defeated and repeats himself. “He said the driver will be there in about an hour to pick you up. Seven seems to think you'll be safer at the friend's penthouse than there, I guess. The guy has an army of personal bodyguards, and I guess they'll be able to protect you while we're...busy.”

 

“Is it Jumin?” Ember asks quietly.

 

“Yeah, Mr. Han's son. You know him?” Vanderwood asks, then sighs again, “Never mind; of course you do, in your weird 'other dimension' way. Anyway, he said clean up and go hang out with Jumin's Elly, whatever that is.”

 

“It is a Persian,” Ember corrects. “A cat.”

 

Vanderwood grumbles something about Seven and cats before apologizing and hanging up a bit abruptly. The idea of meeting Jumin in the condition she's in is less than appealing, but perhaps some time away might be safer; after all, they don't know who is after her, and who the stalker had been working with. Cat sitting for Jumin might actually be safer than the bunker behind 8 sealed doors, 3 traps, and a state of the art surveillance system.

 

Jumin loves his cat too much to let her anywhere near anything remotely dangerous.

With what strength she had left, she showers, and changes into a simple sun dress. She didn't want to come off as a slob, even in the situation she was in. By the time she had her hair tied into a bun and her few belongings gathered, the gate buzzer rang out.

 

“Miss Ember?” A new voice says through the speakers. “I am Driver Kim. I am supposed to be picking you up for Mister Jumin Han.”

 

She presses the button, opening the gate, and watches as the black luxury sedan pulls into the driveway and idles a moment.

 

“ _Please be safe. I'll give Elly an extra hug for you,”_ she texts Saeyoung before opening the front door and stepping out into the early morning.

 

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Ember.” Driver Kim opens the door and says with a smile, “Is there any stops you would like to make on the way? I am told you have not been well as of late, so I am to take the best care of you.”

 

“Thank you Mister Kim, but no, I think I am alright.”

 

“Very well, please let me know if anything comes to mind. We have approximately 37 minutes till we arrive at our destination.” Driver Kim closes the door gently and sits down in the driver's seat. “Any music?”

 

“Sure, whatever you prefer,” Ember answers quietly. She looks out the window, watching as the familiar driveway slips from view as they drive steadily down the street. Driver Kim plays some classical music, something a bit more upbeat and appropriate for morning drives. She was never all that interested in classical music, and her mind is hardly able to focus on the notes coming from the top-of-the-line speakers.

 

Before long they are well into the city, driving along vaguely familiar main streets. She can barely see past the morning rush of people scurrying off to work, eating handheld food and chugging down coffee as they go.

 

“I'd kill for coffee right now,” She says out loud.

 

“I believe you will be having breakfast with Jumin at his place of residence,” the driver says. “He wanted me to inform you of that upon arrival; I apologize.”

 

“None needed, mister Kim. Thank you,” Ember's eyes feel heavy, and she can't help but wonder if she could perhaps take a nap at Jumin's. She wasn't even sure she'd be able to sleep, considering every noise she heard over the past 12 hours made her jump out of her skin. Despite this, her body was quickly wearing out again, and her muscles ached all the more with the recent use and adrenaline dump.

 

“You are as kind as I was told you'd be, miss,” Driver Kim says, smiling. “I hope you get better soon. I have the impression Mister Han was intending on you taking over some duties with their RFA, perhaps with Miss MC.”

 

“You met MC?” Ember asks, perking up a little.

“Once, yes. The whole group went out to eat some months back. I think it was for one of Mister Zen's shows.”

 

Ember smiles, wondering how that would have gone if she had been able to attend with MC. Zen probably did really well. Plus, MC got to meet the crew that night. It may have been a nearly perfect fan-girl night.

 

Then again, MC's time here was about as great as her own, so most likely something went terribly wrong that night, and MC never went into details about it.

 

“Sounds nice. I'm sure it was a good show. It's a shame I missed it.” Ember leans back in the seat, watching the traffic pass steadily as the talented driver leads them further and further into the city. Her phone vibrates once just before they come to a complete stop in front of a fancy high-rise building.

 

“ _Take good care of Elly for me. Take lots of pictures. And don't talk about what's happening, I haven't told them much yet. The fewer people know, the safer it will be”_

 

Saeyoung's text is short, and devoid of much intimacy, but Ember tries her best to ignore it. She is being sent away to be safe, and she should be thankful for that.

 

“Miss Ember,” Driver Kim calls from her now open door. “Please, this way.”

 

They don't make it to the shiny golden elevator before three large bodyguards fall in step with the driver and Ember. Driver Kim recognizes them and reassures her they are under Jumin's payroll. They whisper to small microphones and nod in some secret code to each other as they make their way to the penthouse suite.

 

Ember's head is so full and so fuzzy from lack of sleep she can hardly focus on the luxury that passes her with each step. Marble floors, imported décor, even a lingering scent of freshly laundered curtains and cut flowers pervade the hall leading to the main entrance to Jumin's home. Instead of lingering to enjoy the sights, she is focused on her feet, telling herself she'll be okay, and to just keep walking.

 

The security guards open the door after a short knock, and beckon her inside with Driver Kim. Upon entering, Driver Kim takes the lead again, gesturing her to follow, although she reluctantly does.

 

From the entrance, she can see clearly into the living area and open kitchen. A chef is clearing away his utensils onto a rolling cart, while another waiter is finishing placing a very elaborate breakfast spread onto the white clothed dining table. Sparkling silverware shimmered in the morning sun, and the warming scent of coffee catches her attention.

 

“...at eleven-fourteen, you are to arrive for lunch with the Ambassador of trade at the...” Jaehee's voice says calmly from another room. “Your return flight is at two-thirty-seven exactly, in order for you to get back in time for the dinner with your contact with the winery.”

 

“I see. You did not schedule sufficient time for paperwork, so thirty-six minutes will be added at the end of the day,” a deep male voice replies.

 

She stops short of the ivory carpeting in the living room, not wanting to soil it with her less than pristine shoes. Mister Kim doesn't seem to see any issue, and continues past to a wide hallway at the other end of the room. From the door he clears his throat and knocks lightly at a door that is slightly ajar. “I am sorry for the intrusion, sir. I have Miss Ember here,” Driver Kim says with a slight bow.

 

“Thank you, Driver Kim. You can take a break while I discuss the day with Miss Ember,” Jumin replies as the door opens, revealing the man himself.

 

Her face heats up as the awkward embarrassment of meeting another member finally dawns on her. She gently pats down the unobtrusive wrinkles in the skirt of her dress and straightens her back. With what effort she could muster she gives her best smile as Jumin enters the room, glancing only momentarily at the leaving chef, and finishing with his tie.

 

“Pleasure to meet you, Miss Ember. I admit I was a little surprised to be asked a favor from Luciel, but it is fortunate that my schedule opens up an opportunity for us both,” ever the gentleman, Jumin pulls out a chair, motioning her to sit.

 

“Oh..t-thank you, Jumin. I am sorry that he asked such a big favor so suddenly. I wasn't aware he would do that, or I would have told him not to.” Ember sits nervously, folding her hands in her lap as Jumin circles the table and taking a seat. Jaehee enters the room, and silently sits in the living room, typing away on a small laptop. “Is Jaehee not going to join us?”

 

“She has work to do before the flight,” Jumin answers. “Please, eat. Luciel told me you prefer coffee to tea, however he did not specify what your choice was, so I asked the chef to make his specialty.”

 

“Thanks, I am sure it is fine,” Ember says. Her eyes scan from the fancy latte art in the cup to the china plate filled with a luxurious meal. Quietly her stomach churns at the sight, knowing that she really should eat it all. “This is far too much food for me though, thank you for having it prepared for me.”

 

“It is what my nutritionist suggested for someone recovering from illness,” Jumin says, cutting up some of his food and taking a deliberate bite. He chews it completely swallowing it and taking a sip of tea before continuing. “Luciel said you have been experiencing some kind of illness, and that you were often weak and tired as a result. I have requested the chef come at noon and five today to prepare meals as well. A proper diet is necessary for good health.”

 

Ember nods, and picks up the silverware. “You are very considerate. Thank you.”

 

“You do not need to thank me. You will be doing a favor for me as well. I needed someone to watch my precious Elizabeth 3rd while I am away on a day trip for business. My assistant will be with me, and I think the sudden change of environment will not do well for her.”

 

“I see,” she says, spying a ball of white fluff on one of the chairs in the living room. “I would be happy to keep her company then. It has been a while since I have had a cat, and I am sure she is as lovely as I have heard.”

 

Jumin somehow consumes his plate before Ember has had time to even ruin the image on the top of her latte. “I am glad you are enthusiastic. Her food is beneath the counter. The measurement is already portioned out, you just need to give it to her at exactly one in the afternoon. Then she'll need to be brushed at three.”

 

Ember wonders if she ever was so precise with her own cats growing up as he rattles off a series of seemingly useless additional scheduled events she would have to do while he was away. “Luciel says he will be back to pick you up sometime around nine tonight. I will be returning sometime after seven. If you have any needs, you only need to tell one of the guards or call the front desk.”

 

“I understand,” Ember says as she finally finishes the food on her plate.

 

“Mister Han, we have fifteen minutes till you need to get to the flight, and you need to stop for the gift for your father,” Jaehee interrupts. “I am certain Ember is capable of taking care of Elizabeth.”

 

“I have left my number on the note on the counter if something happens while I am away, however I may not answer if I am in a meeting.” Jumin seems unaffected by Jaehee's reminder, and picks up a gray blazer from a chair in the living area. “I am curious as to the circumstances of our introduction, but I am nonetheless glad of it. You seem like a very pleasant and responsible person, and Luciel speaks very fondly of you.”

“I...thank you. Really, you are doing me more of a favor. I am sure Elizabeth and I will be great friends. And don't fret, I won't let Luciel do anything to her while I am here.” Ember attempts to smile, knowing the one-sided love affair Saeyoung has with his 'Elly'.

 

“I appreciate that, Ember. I will expect you to call at noon with an update, and again at five. Leave a voicemail if I am unavailable.” Jumin finishes as he buttons his jacket and adjusts his tie. “It is my pleasure to help.”

 

Ember nods and Jumin directs a few of the guards to post extra security in the hall and not to allow anyone he doesn't know into the building. With the sheer number of bulky security guards on the floor now, Ember almost feels safe.

 

“Ah, and Luciel did tell me you have been awake for some time. There is a spare guest room available for you, if you wish to rest.” Jumin adds as Jaehee begins to read again from their agenda.

 

“I very well may. Thank you.” She answers as the crew head off in a noisy cacophony of lists and directions. Elizabeth looks up from her napping spot on the sun-warmed ottoman in front of the large windows, yawning with a stretch. “Well, Miss Elizabeth. My name is Ember.” She smiles, kneeling down and reaching out carefully to allow the feline time to adjust to her scent. “I hope you don't mind me, but I am very glad you are here.”

 

The gorgeous white cat sniffs her shaking hand, looking up at her with half closed eyes before laying back down to sleep once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the well wishes! I am well on my way to recovery now, and I am trying to get writing once more.   
> My computer decided now was a good time to fry, so on top of everything else, I was without a device to write with for a while. I pushed through this chapter today, and I hope you all like it.  
> As always, thank you for reading my work!
> 
> <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. The chapter is short, but I am very much trying to finish up the story, so a lot comes to a head here. One more chapter to go, and we'll be done with Selfish!
> 
> Enjoy!

_The rain pattered against the aging window glass; dim afternoon light filtered through angry rain clouds, barely illuminating her small bedroom. The glow of her phone screen was comparably blinding against the darkened sky outside, but that was fine._

_Ember smiles down at her phone, half excited to read the after-story for the route she just finished, and half wishing it wasn't over already. Sure, she had spent far too many hours playing to make sure she unlocked the secret endings so she could finally get some sort of conclusion with Seven, but still..._

_She didn't want it to end just yet._

_It was sad, Ember thought, that people had to die—that V had to die. She wondered briefly if she was crazy for liking a story because of the drama caused by the death; or if the joy of seeing Seven truly happy was worth it._

_She remembered that first time completing the game. She remembered that moment; the feeling of accomplishing some important life event, and the mistiness of her eyes as she turned the game off. She remembered wanting to tell MC about how beautiful the moment was, despite it being far more wonderful in her own head._

_Originally it was supposed to be a surprise party for the main character in the game, but it was slightly spoiled, before ending up being a beautiful proposal party. Now, it was far more elaborate than the game could possibly allow; far more real in her version of the secret endings._

_He was sweet about it. His adventurous and imaginative mind made for a very unique proposal. What it was escapes her, but the remnants of her emotional response resonates for hours after the event. After the guests left and his brother had long gone to his own room, he kissed her, praised her, loved her all night. He told her again and again how much he loved her, how much he wanted that dream family they had only just touched on during their run. He wanted to touch every inch of her, to breathe and hold everything about her and never let it go._

_In the dream, that night seemed to last forever, but it also ended so abruptly._

“ _What about MC?”_

_The sound of Saeran's voice echoes through the halls as morning light filters through the blinds. She's standing in the living room, decorations and empty cans of soda still littering the room. It was too cold; everything seemed so lifeless, so empty, despite the evidence of the party the night before. Dust covers everything in the room, as if everyone had simply gotten up and walked away after the party, and never returning._

“ _Where is she? Is she okay?” Ember calls to the voice, noticing the feeling of dust sticking to her bare feet. “Where is Saeyoung?”_

_The room seems to change around her. It was a familiar, warm space then with a blink, everything changed. She couldn't help but wonder about MC, about the baby, and why Zen had not called her back yet. Her phone isn't in her hand, and she doesn't have pockets in her night shirt. She'll call when she's done._

“ _Saeran?” she asks, finally realizing just who she was talking to._

“ _You promised Luciel to be careful; you can't trust anyone.” Saeran appears—or she assumes its him. The figure looks a bit too tall, shadowed in the dark corner. She can just make out something that looks like a gray sweater in a single beam of dim light, but the figure remains stowed away in the shadow. “Remember, you weren't supposed to be here, you weren't supposed to change everything.”_

_“Saeran? I don't understand; what is going on?” Ember asks, trying to step forward. Her body is frozen, suddenly unable to move. Her eyes cast down, seeing writhing cords and cables like the ones from old computers wrapping like snakes around her legs and feet. Somehow she hadn't noticed them before; where had they come from?_

“ _It is too late, Ember. Too late. You didn't help your best friend, and now...” as the words faded, the voice changed. It was as if someone was talking through a voice altering device, going from recognizable to mechanical and then to a new voice. It was fuzzy, hazy, like there was something muffling it from her ears. Her head throbbed as she struggled to free herself from the cords and find out who this person actually is._

“ _You weren't supposed to be here.” the voice whispered. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite put her finger on who it belonged to. Ember's heart races as she struggles against the cords; the more she moves, the tighter they get. Panicking, she pulls them away, only to be whipped and tangled in several more. The pain from the plastic coating digging into her barely clothed body makes her eyes water, and for a moment she wonders where Saeyoung is._

_He promised to protect her._

_The figure in the corner reaches into a pocket in the sweater, slowly pulling out a dark metal object. “You weren't supposed to get in the way.”_

“ _S-saeran?!” Ember gasps as the vine-like cords envelop her body, and the figure points the barrel of a pistol at her._

_“Saeran is dead, Ember.” The voice hums, and a small, sad laugh leaves him. “MC is dead. Rika is dead. It is all wrong. You should have listened; Luciel should have listened. But no,you had to make him happy. He doesn't deserve happy.”_

_For a brief moment, she recognizes the voice, before abruptly the darkness turns to light._

 

She rockets upright from her slumped position in the cushioned living room chair. The sun is casting a red hue across the far-too-clean room in Jumin's condo, by the time Ember wakes from an impromptu nap.

Somehow, she had slept for most of the day.

Elizabeth shifts on her lap where she had decided was her bed, a claw still stuck in the fabric of her pants. Ember's breath is ragged, her head pounding, and her skin still stinging with the sensation of those cords.

“Do you have bad dreams?” Ember asks the cat as she strokes her fur. “I suppose you probably do. I just had one, will you listen to it? I used to tell my friend MC about them, but she's not here right now.”

Elizabeth yawns, hopping from her lap and padding to the kitchen. “Oh, right, I suppose it is time for dinner, isn't it?”

Her body feels heavy and her legs ache when she stands up, following the snowball cat to the kitchen. Elizabeth sits in front of her bowl, cleaning her paw without much more than a look at Ember as she shuffles to the food, stowed away in the low cupboard. To her surprise, the cupboard was actually a small fridge filled with filtered water and special food. Ember chuckles at the over the top luxury of the whole situation, before plopping the food into Elizabeth's bowl and stepping back.

Ember takes her phone out, glancing at Elizabeth as she nibbles away at the chicken dish in her glittering bowl, and calls Seven. Surely he would be able to talk for a minute, right? The answer comes as the last ring before the call goes to voice mail. With a sigh she hangs up before leaving a message, and calling Zen. His phone goes right to voice mail; Ember understands not wanting to take calls in his situation. He must be tired and busy with his daughter. Maybe MC came back and they are together as a family?

She dials MC's phone, and like the rest, goes to voicemail. _“I wish someone would just answer when I need to talk...”_ She thinks as she closes her eyes and waits for the message to end.

“MC, its Ember. Um, I'm sure you're busy, but I wanted to check in on you. I had this crazy dream, and just woke up with this feeling you...you were dead. You warned me that you might do it, and I know things are hard enough that I couldn't blame you if you did. I hope that you are okay, and if you did it, I hope you made it back. Please, please call me as soon as you can, okay? There is a lot that has happened, and I need someone to talk to.

“You're going to be busy, I know, and you are going to be tired and worried and everything, and I am sorry to be selfish, but I think something terrible is going to happen. You'll probably just tell me 'it was just a dream, calm down,' but it doesn't feel that way. So much has happened that I couldn't tell you about. Telling you in a voice mail doesn't sound right either, but for now, I'm alone, but safely away from everyone.” Her voice is starting to shake a little as her tempo speeds up. She can't help it; it feels like a dam is breaking and she can finally say what she wants to. The problem is she knows she shouldn't tell MC everything now; it would cause too much stress.

“Seven is trying to figure out what's happening, and can't talk. I'm sitting here in Jumin's penthouse; have you been here? It's crazy! Elizabeth's adorable, and kinda looks like my cat years ago, only white. She has her own fridge here. It's adorable in a sort of 'who has this kind of money' way.”

Elizabeth cleans her bowl, finishing with some of the water before disappearing down the hall. The home is so silent, even the city life below is completely muted, and her feeling of complete solitude is nerve-racking.

“Anyway, um, I guess that's all for now. Please call me. Bye.”

She stares down at the screen as she hangs up, and wonders if MC will ever hear that message. The feeling in her stomach gets stronger, making her gag a little. She grabs a bottle of water, sipping down half of it and repeating to herself that she was perfectly safe.

After all, Jumin instructed the security to not let anyone up.

When her stomach calmed enough, she pulls out her phone again, and dialing Saeyoung's number. She isn't surprised to hear his silly voice mail message, ending with him saying 'BEEEEP' really loudly.

“Hey, um, it's me,” Ember starts, staring at her feet. “Just wanted to hear your voice, I guess. I had a really bad dream, and I can't get it out of my head.” Elizabeth's jumping onto the counter draws her attention for a moment and she suddenly feels way too on edge. “I keep thinking that something's happened to MC. I know things are bad, but...I just can't help but think that she's done it. You know, like...she...she's dead.”

Her eyes begin to water as she chokes back the sob that is threatening her weak throat. With a deep inhale, she draws herself back into something resembling a calm demeanor. “Anyway, the dream was weird. It started with me remembering the first time I saw the end of your story in the game. Remember I said you were kinda the main character in the secret endings? I remembered the first time I saw those; and it made me think, for a moment, that...”

A buzz from the front door stops her mid sentence. “Well, I guess it was just a stupid dream. It was weird though, I should have sworn that Saeran, of all people, was in my dream, but then he sounded weird. Maybe the elixir is messing with me. The dream ended badly, he wasn't the Saeran we know, it was like he was someone else,” she heads to the door, and looking at the fancy screen by the door, showing who was buzzing in.

“Oh, weird, I wonder why he's here...” she mutters, seeing a familiar tuft of green hair at the elevator entrance, flanked by two of the security guards. “Sorry, V just showed up. I think he believes Jumin is around. Anyway, don't worry too much, I'm sure it was just a dream. I can't wait to see you.” she hangs up the phone, and presses the answer button on the telecom.

“Miss Ember? V is here to drop off some paperwork he had promised Jumin. I am assuming his assistant didn't remember, or was uninformed of his appearance. Is it okay that he comes up?” The head of security sounds stern, but somehow comforting. Perhaps she was alone too long and just needs the comfort of another human.

She thinks a moment, wondering back to her last encounter with V at the coffee shop. She had a lot of questions, and most of all, she was alone and needed someone to keep her company.

Jumin should be home in a little while anyway, what harm could it be?

“Sure, he can come up. Thanks,” Ember answers, feeling the churn of her stomach kick up one more time. “I hope he doesn't mind, I look terrible.”

“I'm sure he won't, miss.”

She watches as V nods to the security and enters the elevator, holding something like a folder or case of some sort under his arm. He is slender; more so than usual, and Ember wonders if he is ill, or if his injury from before her arrival is somehow causing problems.

Then the shadowed figure from her dream reappears in her mind; perhaps it was the clothing that V was wearing that triggered it. Surely the gray sweater is a normal thing, right? She figured she was just too much on edge, and finished the last of her water as the elevator sounded down the hall.

Her phone rings suddenly, and she nearly drops it from the shock of sound in the basically silent apartment. “H-hello?” she asks without looking at the screen. She is watching the security camera as V exits the elevator, and heads confidently to the door a few feet in front of her.

“Ember!”

The sound of Saeyoung's rushed voice brings back memories of the game. It sounds like the scene when he is rushing to take care of the bomb threat in the game; strangely rushed, with the sound of car horns and the roar of the engine in the background.

“Saeyoung! God, I am so glad you called. I-” Ember starts, backing into the living room, to the large windows that overlooked the city.

“V is dangerous! Don't let him in!” Saeyoung interrupts with a shout and the squeal of tires. “Lock the door; I'm on the way, just DON'T LET HIM IN!”

“I don't understand, V is the only one that could have seen when I was poisoned--”

“Because he was the one that ordered it! Don't you get it!? He's the one that wants you dead!”

Ember's eyes widen as the door opens and V steps in with a false smile on his gaunt face. “I..I can't.” Ember whispers, trying to plaster a smile on her lips. “Hey, I'll see you soon. Don't worry, I feel fine.”

“He's there?! Already? God, just...just be safe! I'm coming!”

The line goes dead and she hangs up, putting the device in her pocket and looking at the man in the room. “Hello V. Sorry I was on a call.”

“No, I'm sorry. It works out really. I didn't know Jumin was out; you weren't supposed to be here,” V answers, placing the case on the table and watching Ember closely.

The figure in her dream comes to vivid life with the last few words. Her dream had warned her, and she didn't listen. She watches him as he slowly opens the case, his face contorting into a sorrowful frown. He sighs, before pulling out a cloth wrapped item from the bag.

She'd seen too many movies to not know what this was, and her heart stops. “V?” She chokes as he unwraps the item slowly.

“You weren't supposed to be here. I'm so sorry; you didn't listen. I tried to get you to go, to leave him and be safe...” V mutters almost incoherently. “You wouldn't listen; no, you had to save him. Just like he had to save his brother, save me. I was supposed to save Rika, but no, he killed her. I was going to save her and he killed her.”

He is muttering, shaking, still holding the bundle in his hands as he peels away the fabric and letting it fall to the ground.

“It works out, really. I've never been the one for lies, and I am so tired. I want to go to her, I need to. But he has to pay for what he did, he needs to feel what it is like to lose the one you love. He's coming, right? He's on his way to save you now? Just like me. Just like I was when he shot her dead. Oh, I'm sure he won't say that it happened that way, but it's the truth.”

The heavy pistol is resting in his shaking palm. Ember can't move, like she is bound to the floor by those cords, her legs quaking and aching with the stress of her muscles that are screaming to move. She watches him, her breath coming in shaking, short breaths.

This isn't the V she knew; he's lost his mind. He is erratic, his eyes sunken in, his body shaking and far too thin to be healthy. A sheen of sweat is reflecting the white light from the ceiling, and that gray sweater looks like it hasn't been cleaned in weeks.

“V...calm down, we can talk about this...” Ember says shakily.

“I'm sorry, Ember. You weren't supposed to be mixed up in this; really, I just wanted her back.” A really sad and reminiscent smile takes over the sorrow from before. “When you showed up, I could tell you were different. When Zen told me about MC, I knew that it was possible to get her back, and I had hope again. I knew Rika would want Seven to pay for his transgression, so I just wanted to scare him—to scare you. I wanted him to feel alone, like I do, and like Rika does now.”

Ember couldn't figure out what to say. He wasn't making sense; had he been taking the elixir? Was he really that distraught that he has totally broken down? Her knowledge of mental illness was limited and with the pistol now perched in his hand, she couldn't access it anyway.

“But it didn't work. Somehow you made Seven stronger. You weren't supposed to do that. Then, the only person who knew Saeran's formula, and could get hold of Luciel's program, came back. Sure, he was a bit broken; the elixir does that to some people. The darkness takes over; it makes the darkness alive. No, that doesn't matter. He came back, and I told him that you needed to be taken away...”

Her brain rushed through the events of the past few months. The connection was made; V was the one that told her stalker she was here; V sent the stalker to actually kill her...

“But then...” he chuckles, running his available hand through his hair, “Then he had to take my only chance away!” he laughs, pacing around with the pistol waving without any real purpose. “Why couldn't he just give me one chance to save her!?”

“V...” she whispers as he stops in the middle of the room. “V, Jumin will be here soon, he'll know...”

“It doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that Luciel pays for what he's done,” V shouts angrily, and points the gun directly at her.

It looks like the nightmare, only in brilliant light rather than hidden in the shadows. He's clearly there, muttering over and over “you weren't supposed to be here, you didn't listen, you weren't supposed to be here...”

_Saeyoung..._

She can just barely make out the faint 'ding' of the elevator over the ranting of the man in front of her. V doesn't seem to notice it, he just keeps ranting, his voice getting louder and louder, sometimes pacing back and forth, only to return in front of her, the gun raised and pointing right at her.

“It doesn't matter now. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to go like this. But it has to. It has to end.” V is crying while he shakes, looking at her with such sorrow over the barrel of the gun. Over his shoulder, Ember can see the front door open silently, and a familiar head of red hair step silently into the room.

“Please, V, put the gun down.” Ember pleads, trying to hide the person sneaking up behind V. “We can fix this, we can get help. Maybe we can get the elixir recipe? Saeyo-Luciel can help make the program—we've been working on it together! We can try again, just put down--”

“No, Ember. There is no other chance. This is it. It's too late. Hopefully God will forgive me, and send me to her. Hopefully you'll find Paradise; hopefully you'll find peace too. You're a good person, but you just shouldn't be here. I'm sorry Ember. Forgive me.”

In that moment, time stopped. There was a flash of light, a blur of red and green hair, a sharp and resonating sound that felt like it shattered her eardrums, and a rush of air. There was a thousand thoughts and none at all that wanted to burst from her lips, and the only word that escaped was met with a blinding pain, and sudden darkness.

“Saeyoung.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that V is not normally portrayed this way. I was struggling trying to depict him as having a total mental breakdown, and I am not entirely happy with it. I needed to post the chapter though, so I'm just going with it.
> 
> Thank you for continuing to read, and have a wonderful day!


End file.
